Not Lost Forever
by DarkAngelsShadow
Summary: Not all who wonder are lost, sometimes it takes leaving the place they once called home to realize just what and who they left behind. What if Carol and Rick built up a relationship while Daryl was out on a journey with Merle? Only to return would he find nothing with in the prison to have changed? OR would he come to find things had turned in another direction?
1. Chapter 1 He's Gone

**This is for all of the ladies out there that would love to see Carol be loved! Someone to hold her and tell her that she is needed. Yes this will be a Rick/Carol/Daryl but not how you might think. I'm sorry but this will not be a story where Rick/Daryl will happen I don't think of the two of them in such a way as being together. For me that bond between those two men is nothing stronger then brother. Think of the movie Pearl Harbor... ;) Please forgive me for any grammar mistakes and if you find that this story doesn't quiet flow, please do let me know. Thank you for giving this story a chance. oxox**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not Lost Forever**

**He's Gone**

The hot Georgia humidity was beating down on Carol thanks to sun being high in the sky as she watched Carl pace impatiently in front of the gate. Daryl and Rick had taken a couple of members and left to find Maggie and Glenn with the help of Michonne. Michonne was a woman new to the group a woman she new little about and wasn't sure if she could be trusted. Carol couldn't help but to wonder how a woman like Michonne had managed to stay alive this whole time as she stood there watching the drive way for that familiar car that would bring her family home. Her eyes often drifting to Carl watching the path the boy made into the ground with his worried pacing. His feet being the only noise she could here besides the sound of the walkers. The sounds of the past where no where to be found on this hot humid day.

"It's so quiet." Carl proclaims as his back is turned to her. His constant pacing is causing her to almost become dizzy.

Pushing her body off of the wall of the prison guard tower Carol makes her way over to Carl. "It's easy to forget how loud the world used to be." A smile on her face and a lingering laugh on her lips. Her head turned to Carl as her trusty weapon that was once resting there at her side finds its way into her hands. The familiar material of the strap her weapon is in cased in her right hand a comfort she is quickly attuning to. "I used to complain about it all of time. Traffic, construction, car alarm,s noise pollution." Carol manages to stop Carl's pacing the two of them standing there with Carl's eyes peering up at her. Carol's eyes are off in the distance remembering things she used to know on a regular biases. Before she looks down and meets the boy's eyes. She allows a quirky smile to grace her lips at all of the things that she misses and yet she knows the boy standing in front of her will never come to appreciate the silence on the wind.

Carol's eyes wonder back off into the distance as she peers all around them checking for any sign of danger near by. "Oh, what I wouldn't give for the sweet sound of a jumbo jet." Carol states as her eyes are zoned out into the bright blue sky above them. She scuffs laughing at the thought. How her group and family would react if a large jet should ever fly over their heads right now. So many questions would be asked and Rick would surely send out a search party, see if there are any questions that could be answered.

"It would be even sweeter if we were all on it." Carl says as Carol brings her eyes back down to earth meeting with the boys.

Carol and Carl both stand there pondering the thought for a moment while looking off into the distance. Carol has for the past year watched as this bou has grown. Carl has grown from being a young boy into almost being a man. The changes she sees in him make her sad for the boy he could have been if the world hadn't changed. He'd probably be at school right now instead of keeping watch like a soldier. Carl's growing up to quickly and then before Carol knows it her mind wonders to Sophia her daughter and she can't help but to wonder if her daughter was alive if she would be the same way. She can't help but to think of all of the growing her child is missing out of as she looks over at Carl and lets the boy hear the words she longs to tell her own child. "Your mom was proud of you." She makes the comment looking down at the ground as she shifts her weight from one foot to another before looking back up at the boy.

"For what, being mean to her?" Carl asks his head turned away from her while his thoughts are being ran through past memories. Things he wishes he'd done different that if he could, he would take it all back.

"No, you can't think about that," Carol tells him eyeing the boy and his posture. Noticing how Carl's mood has shifted and his shoulders have dropped. With a shake of his head Carl replies in a voice that tends to remind Carol of the boy's pain and his lost. "It's all I think about." Carl says with a shake of his head.

Carol not getting the chance to respond looks up as they hear a vehicle on the dirt road. Carl taking a step forward looking out into the distance, "Please let it be them." While watching the dirt road that leads up to the prison Carl and Carol take to walking forward as a familiar Honda turns the corner making its way out of the woods. Their hearts begin raising at the possibility that all have returned or something might have gone wrong.

"Its them hurry." Carol calls out as they make a quick jog up to the gate. Her mind raising as she is silently praying that they have all made it back and that their all whole and safe and sound. Carl reaches the lock and manages to stick the key in it just at the right time as the car comes forward and Carol is moving the gate aside allowing it entrance into their safe haven. Re-leaf rushes through them as Rick pulls up and into the drive.

While Carol's shutting the gate to the fence back up so that no walkers may enter the car comes to a stop and Rick steps out, "Drive – em up, I'll meet you up there." With an affirmative from Maggie Rick shuts the door. Making his way up to his boy he sinks down to one knee taking Carl into his arms. Rick knows that Carl is safe and secure when he sees his son safe and that he has come to no harm. Warmth overtaking his body, after the loss of his wife Lori he couldn't bare loosing his son. "Thank god," leaves Rick's lips, the feeling of joy and love washing over his body as he gives his son a kiss on his cheek. Standing back up out of a crouch with a smile on his face while looking down at his son Rick asks, "Where's Hershel?" As he takes a step back his eyes watching his boy.

"He's in the cell block." Carl says pointing his hand in the direction of the man his father has asked for. As the sight of his father before him releases the tension in his shoulders, now he can breath a bit easier.

After a look in the car before it drives off up the rock path Carol counts the people inside, two people are not where they should be. Where's Daryl keeps repeating in her head as though it is stuck on repeat when his familiar figure is no where to be found. If she thought her heart was racing before she was surely wrong for now its lodge in her throat and it's hard for her to get the words out. "Where's Daryl? Carol asks her voice pained with worry. Her eyes already are filling with tears, tears that she knows better then to shed, she fights them back knowing she's stronger than this weak woman who is begging her to be let out. As she pushes that part of herself away and forces her body to keep moving, keep breathing.

"He's alright, he's alive," Rick approaching her with one of his hand traveling up to land on her shoulder, the only way he knows how to comfort the woman in front of him at the look of disbelief that falls over her face. He squeezes her shoulder wanting her to understand that all was alright and not as bad as it may seem. "We ran into his brother," Rick says as he removes his hand and watches as carol keeps looking over her shoulder as though she is expecting the silent hunter to come out of the shadows. Maybe surprise her somehow a foolish wish that is unlikely to come true and Rick knows how she feels. He's feeling the loss to their group their family too.

"They went off," Rick meets her eyes his gaze upon her doesn't faultier as he delivers this news.

"He left?" Carol asks as Rick turns his head down to look down at the ground as she once again asks, "He left?" Rick meets her eyes once again taking in the look of pain that crosses her features. He can't help but to curse the man he calls a brother for making this woman's belief in all that she knows crumble before him. He's watched her grow stronger over the past few weeks and now he's left here with her to deliver the news that could brake her, brake them all or help them grow stronger. Strength is what they will need now if the people back in that town decided to lash out.

"Daryl left? He's gone?" Carol asks no longer trying to hide the pain in her voice. The lump in her throat making it harder and harsher to breath. "Is he coming back?" At getting no answer from Rick and seeing that the man is hesitant to answer her as though he can't believe it either, Carol bites her lower lip and takes off up the path. Blinking her eyes rapidly to hold back the tears the words repeating in her head, he's gone and not coming back are driving her closer and closer to that edge. No no! Carol was wanting to scream out loud to wail at the sky above and the earth below her feet. But emotions would do her no good in this present state of mind. Knowing that it would hardly matter if she was to collapse right now, there was no one to pick up the pieces if she did. She kept screaming so loudly within her own head that she was nearing hysteria. Carol wanted to run away, but where would she run to know when there would be no one to come looking for her. Daryl had left her.

"Hey," Placing a comforting hand on Carol's neck Rick tries his best to calm the woman before him as the start walking up the path toward the prison. "Gone?" She can't help but to ask one more time as she puts one foot in front of the other to walk through the next set of gates, her eyes looking sky word as though she wants to ask the gods why?

"And Oscar?" Carl asks coming up to his dad's side, as his dad's hand comes to land on his shoulder. "No." Rick informs Carl as his hand leaves his son's shoulder.

Carl makes his way over to secure the gate as Rick takes Carol into his arms, he holds her. A moment or two with her there wrapped in his arms before letting them drop to his sides and they continue their walk up to the prison.

**~*Not Lost Forever*~**

It was a warm night. The moon's pale light shown through a few cast about clouds in a charcoal sky. The stars of the night where brilliant and bright as though they were a quilted blanket of colors that the heavens had cast forth, out for the human race to still wish upon. Wishing was a thing of fairy tales told to the children now and days, for many things had gone wrong in their world on this planet they called home.

Carol sat there looking up at the sky as she kept watch from the guard tower. Daryl had left them, a few days ago. He had left her the one man that always gave her hope. Carol's heart was shattered as she made a wish on the stars. Even if she felt as though the realm of the heavens had forsaken her and all those still with her. Carol was still planning on making a wish on those bright luminescent stars tonight.

Carol loved the night when the world was at peace, well that is if you didn't mind the moaning coming from the undead beast. Tonight though everything had a haunting feeling about it nothing seemed right. The earth around her seemed to weep as though feeling the despair that was rolling off of her body. Daryl had left her, the one person she had depended on since the loss of her daughter had left her. Tonight she felt lost as though she was a soul without a body just drifting through air.

Tonight she would wish on those stars for a lost hunter's spirit in hopes that the stars up above her would hear her and know that she wished him well on his journey. That Daryl would keep becoming the strong and honorable man she knew he could be. That they would stay safe and may they stay whole. Though her heart ached for her lost friend the one man she could see herself being with as something more she wouldn't wish any ill will upon him. If fact she hoped that karma and fate would be kind and wrap their arms around him, especially since she couldn't.

Carol was brought out of her star gazing when the door to the guard tower was opened. Her eyes were drawn to the door hope spring into her chest. Did Daryl come back is he seeking her presence now?

Rick stepping through the door way saw the hope in Carol's eyes and watched as the strong woman before him sink a little bit more into herself. Her shoulders dropped head down cast, her presence was of a woman who had been defeated and saw no way of coming back. "Hey Rick, thanks for comin' up here." Carol's voice was weak as though she had been crying once again and her voice was rough and raspy. "It's good to know somebody cares."

"Thought you might like some tea Carol, you've been up here on your own for too long. You should come down and join us." Walking up to Carol Rick was wishing that the woman before him would just look up from where her gaze lingered there in front of her on the floor.

Rick sits down beside her a sigh coming up out of his mouth leaving his body. He knows what it feels like to depend on someone only for that person to be taken away. "You know Daryl wasn't built to live with in cement walls. He's a man with his own rules; he has his own set of codes."

Carol gave a nod of her head, as Rick scoots closer to her and places an arm over her shoulders. "Yeah he's gone, but I don't feel like talkin'. It might be just too much to bear. To hear somebody say it stops hurting. Or to hear somebody say he ain't worth it. Daryl is meant to live in that world out there not behind bars." Carol's head comes up and makes eye contact with Rick, "I believed in him, believe in him still. But that don't mean I'll forgive him for leaving without saying goodbye. Thought we all meant more to him than that. Thought I might have meant more to him, at least then I could believe I meant something to somebody, more then just a maid that picked up after everyone. Guess I was wrong, it's okay I can live with it." Carol's hands reach out to the warm cup of tea resting with in Ricks grasp.

"You're stronger than this Carol, and you know your more to us then just someone to look after the little things. You mean more to me than just that." Rick smiles his eyes meeting her blue sparkling eyes. He can tell she's been holding back tears for a while. One of Rick's hands covers Carol while he sets the cup down in front of her he takes both of her hands into his.

Looking down at the hands he is currently holding Rick takes in the difference in size their so much smaller than his. Delicate soft fingers where warm in his grasp and yet oh so strong. Those same fingers had taken a pick ax to her husband's head, had help to care of his wife, son and now his daughter. At the thought of Lori and all the times Carol had been there to look after her and take care of her in his stead he came to realize while holding her smaller hand that he had never once thanked her.

Rick had never thanked Carol for doing all that she did for his dead wife. For all that she did for his kids for the group and the day Daryl had found her in the tombs the joy that had over whelmed him at the sight of her.

"Thank you, Carol." Giving her hands a squeeze, her warmth sinking into his skin was awaking parts of his heart that had been dead for a while.

"For what Rick?" Carol gave a shake of her head while looking at the man in front of her.

Rick looked better than he had a few weeks ago. Carol had noticed that his mind had been slipping and now with Daryl being gone it was slipping a little bit more each day. But right now he was awake sitting there right next to her. Longing and thankfulness was pouring off of his body and shining bright in his eyes. "For all that you do. You're taking care of us, you have since the start. I know you thought you were no more than a burden, I heard you talking to Daryl that night. I want you to know, that you're not a burden to us Carol, you're a god send."

Carol scuffs giving off a hopeless laugh that burst forth from her. "Yeah, I do a lot of good around here. I wasn't able to save Lori, wasn't strong enough to save my own daughter. T-dog gave his life for me and for what? To play maid? To play healer? I'm here because someone has to do all of the little day to day things." Carol smiles a sad, I know why I am here, but no one ever tells me that I'm need that I'm wanted. _I'm just… here._

"That isn't true carol, if it wasn't for you and the little things you do on a regular basis none of us would have normalcy none of us would remember what it feels like to be human. Why if it wasn't for you teaching Beth how to care for Judith the chances of my daughter being here would be slim to none." Rick shifted his body in Carol's direction until the two of them sat there hip to hip.

Carol was amazed by Rick's warmth, she'd felt so frozen, cold inside since Daryl had left them. She had felt empty like a body of water without any water in it at all, nothing more than a hole in the ground taking up space. _Maybe Rick is right, maybe I do have more worth here, just wish I could be told I'm wanted. That I'm loved, gods, to be wanted and loved by a man who would actually see me see all that I'd do for him. _While being lost in the ramblings with in her mind Carol's lips turn upward into a smile. As she turns her head back up to the stars in that sky high above their heads. _Maybe just maybe I'll make a wish a hope for the future, for someone to love me, the way I deserve to be loved by a man, to be cherished._ "Sometimes it feels like, I'm gonna break this world, gives more than I can take, but I'm not going to let it drag me down Rick." Bringing her eyes down and away from her star gazing Carol locks eyes with Rick, "Sometimes, sunshine gets lost in the rain and it keeps pouring down, is it too much to want something more out of this life besides death and pain? I can't forget I'm drowning in these memories. It fills my soul with all the little things. And I can't cope; it's like another death inside the family. It's like he stole my way to breathe. So don't try to tell me I'll stop hurting."

Watching over the woman beside him, the one woman he has come to care for to love in his own way since the beginning of this whole zombie infested mess began. Rick's eyes are seeing things they never saw before. "You don't have to forget about him Carol, none of us do. I haven't forgotten about Lori and all she put me through and all I put her through. But there has to be someone out there."

The strength he saw in her was silent, she didn't push her way around her problems. No the woman in front of him she went straight through them forcing them to bend to her command. She might have done them silently but carol was the heart of the group in Rick's eyes. He had been blinded to the woman that was right in front of him this whole time.

Rick missed his wife, losing her the way that he had nearly made him insane. But sitting here with this woman was helping him to clear the fog that had been poisoning his mind. The phone calls had stopped he was no longer seeing a phantom Lori. Every night he would come up here for the past two weeks and he would bring Carol a cup of tea. The more time he spent in this woman's presence the more he awakened to the world that was around him.

The hate and regrets that where piled upon Rick's shoulders where slipping away as he looked upon this woman as he spent more and more time with her. It was making him realize that his relationship with Lori was already ending before the world came to an end. Hadn't there been fights and strings barely holding them together in a loveless marriage as Ricks mind started to clear he began to see a light. Yes, he had loved Lori but that didn't mean he had to be chained to her forever. After all she had left him first.

"This life would kill me if I didn't have you. I couldn't live without you Carol. Look at all of the things you do for our group, all the things you do for me. I wouldn't want to continue on in this life without my kids and you, you're the one who is making it possible for them to have a life. If you didn't love them… if you didn't love us so much we would never make it through. 'Cause this life would kill us if we didn't have you." Rick was looking into Carol's eyes and seeing her soul for the first time. Why hadn't he seen it before? He had felt it when Daryl had brought her back from the tombs. Rick had to go for a walk he made to get up and leave the guard tower when he felt Carol reach out and grasp on to his hand.

"Don't leave me here alone." Tears where streaming down Carol's face breaking his heart as Rick looked down at her. Why was his spirit just now waking up and seeing her? Why was he just now realizing that the woman in front of him was stronger then she had ever been before?

Rick was dumb founded he cared for this beautiful blue eyed fallen angel in front of him, and he smiled down at her coming to kneel in front of her. Taking Carol into his arms an action of caring and love that had been repeated many times though out the weeks Daryl had been gone. "I'm here Carol, I'm here." Rick was awakening from a dark world to find that he didn't just care for Carol, he loved her. Now he just needed to prove it to the broken angel within his arms, Rick needed to show her. Prove to her and hopefully in some way she would see that in a world full of darkness he was here for her to.


	2. Chapter 2 Learning to Dance Again

****** I wasn't expecting as much feed back on this little story of mine as I have gotten. Thank you ladies for reading and for the reviews who have given me a moment of their time you have my thanks. If any of you have any suggestions or requests please let them be known I don't mind throwing in a few twists here and there. Hope you all are having a wonderful safe day/night and Happy New Year!**

******DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not Lost Forever**

**Chapter 2 Learning to Dance Again**

Another day, another night passes, days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into months. The pain still aches with in her chest and yet it's slowly drifting away. Carol was once more on night shift duty up in the guard tower. The calm and peace of the night covering her spirit wrapping her in its soothing blanket. Its the one place she can let down her walls for a short time and allow her mind to think and her body to shudder. She was so strong for the others during the day but the night was meant just for her after Rick's nightly visit. Visits that helped to ease the pain of longing with in her chest. Her heart was learning a new theme to an old rhyme.

Everyone within the group had settled into a routine. Everyone had their place and schedules had to be kept. With a possible threat at their gate they couldn't allow their guard down in their present state. Even Tyreese and his sister Sasha had a place among them now. Tyreese's group had stumbled upon the prison while Rick had been gone. After Rick had gotten a chance to observe the new group he had invited them to stay at the prison, but in another cell block. Cell block B had been cleared out for their use. Though two of Tyreese's group had decided that living inside of a prison was not the home for them and had moved on Rick was still putting effort towards getting to know the brother and sister the best that he could. Rick was recovering taking his time from the loss of his wife. It was still hard for him to look or hold onto his daughter, she resembled her mother in features so well that looking upon her broke his heart. He was taking his time and standing up to perform the duties of a man when it came to his children. The going was rough when the conversation turned to Carl, the boy was still having nightmares from the deed he had performed for his mother. A role a child should never have to play that would be with Carl until his dying day.

Carol sighed, a knot forming in her throat as she fought to keep the tears in her eyes at bay. No child should never have to take the life of their parent, just as a mother should never have to bury her child. Thoughts of Sophia crowded her mind when she thought about the pain Carl would have to endure for the rest of his life. Gods, Carol missed her little girl, they say that the pain of loosing a child lessons a little bit more every day but so far for her it was a stain on her spirit that would forever walk beside her. Ever since Daryl had left the group a little over two months ago the pain in her chest had grown a little bit more. _Why does everything I touch seems to fall apart why do the ones that I love leave me_? Carol wondered as she stood there in the comforting silence of the tower. It was always the quiet of the night when she missed him the most. Squeezing her eyes shut Carol allowed the heavy burden upon her shoulders to drift away for the moment being as her head drifts back to rest on the wall behind her. The light of the moon bathing her in its light shining in through a nearby window. Carol opens her eyes a smile brakes out across her face when she sees the stars shining above her. Knowing that Sophia is one of those stars shining above her head makes her heart fill with joy, at least she will be no longer in pain, no Ed or walkers to harm her. Peering up at the night sky she can't help but to wonder if Daryl is under the same set of stars, or has he moved on to somewhere farther away with his brother?

"I'll never let you go. When all those shadows almost killed your light while you where out there looking for Sophia I'll remember. But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight. So, I'll just close my eyes. The suns going down and you'll be alright. No one can hurt you now, you're with Merle. He'll keep you by his side; I just hope he doesn't change you." A tear slides down Carol's face and she swears to herself that it's the last time a tear will ever slip down her face for Daryl.

Daryl's moved on, without saying goodbye. She meant nothing to him so why should she be standing up here her thoughts drifting to him and his safety. _Don't you dare look out your window, looking, waiting for him to return. Daryl isn't coming back. Everything's on fire there's a war outside our door. It'll keep raging on with or without him here._

Carol wipes the last tear from her face with a shaking hand, letting someone go from her heart has never been an easy battle. Her heart is so torn a part that things are slipping right through now and days with out even a fight. Carol brings her head forward pushing off of the wall as she hears the now familiar footsteps approaching up the steps of the guard tower, and her heart lifts. Carol smiles, warmth spreading through out her body as the heat settles it self on her face, knowing that she looks forward to this time of the night. The time of the night when things are calm and his presence fills the emptiness that is within her.

Carol thinks silently to herself, _"I fill the missing piece he now seeks out in order to feel whole." A smile gracing her lips as she turns away from the window to face the guard towers door. _ Though Rick doesn't have to knock because she is aware of his presence Rick still knocks lightly upon the door before entering the small room. The feelings of thrill and excitement coursing throughout her body from the tip of her head down to her toes leave Carol feeling giddy as she watches the door open. Feelings she is still getting use to courses throughout her, and she can't help but to think of how much Rick's friendship has come to mean to her.

"I have brought you your usual drink ma'am." Rick smiles over at her Lifting a silver tea pot and two tea cups. Rick whistles his dimeaner is playful while making his way into the guard tower and over to the small fold out table they now keep over in the corner of the room just for this purpose.

"Why thank you kind sir. Would you like to join me for a while?" Carol smiles as her eyes lit up at Rick's playful words.

Rick holds out his right hand as he nods his head and beckons her over. His blue eyes are shining in the light of the moon. They are clear tonight, his spirit is healing from the loss he has suffered from losing Lori. While it is true that he and his wife had had their ups and their downs, that didn't mean that he loved her any less. Even there at the end he cared for the woman he had once loved. "Come, come and sit with me for a while." Rick pulls out one of the chairs at the table and takes a hold of Carol's hand as she moves away from the wall and approaches him. Rick's hand folds around Carols for a moment warming her cold hands in his warmth, that simple touch was sinking in and under her skin thawing her blood. Bringing her blood to life electricity shooting under her skin, a warming sensation dancing underneath her skin reminding her of Daryl's touch. Ricks heat can still warm her but not as strongly as she had once felt with being near Daryl.

Rick helps Carol settle in at the table, a simple jester that was becoming very familiar between the two of them. An act he was performing even while they would take their meals with the whole group. Carol smiles giving her thanks while sitting down Rick removes his hand his warmth melting away as he begins to prepare the pot of tea he brought up with him. "Your looking good, at though the weight on your shoulders has left you this night. It's quiet tonight... as quiet as it can be anyways with walkers at our gates anyways." Carol comments as she smiles up at him.

Rick sighs, sitting down into his chair his body slouching releasing the stress from the day. He's taken on more duty since Daryl left the group, and while he's good at keeping silent in the woods he is still no hunter. Providing for their group is not an easy chore to do and he's finding it harder to do with each passing day. His head is falling back with his eyes closed partially half way, "Could always be worse, we could have a war at our gates. The moans and snarling are easy to ignore. We'll have to go out again soon for supplies, leave Glenn and Maggie here to look after the prison. Maybe have Tyreese and Sasha show Axel that breach they had managed to use to get inside the prison."

Carol sets a cup in front of Rick, her thoughts running wild. Her heart was beating rapidly inside of her chest. Carol knows she had just promised herself not to think about him but she can't help but to think, _maybe while we are out, I can look for signs of Daryl. _Carol struggles to keep her breathing under control, she doesn't want to get her hopes up or tip off Rick to where her thoughts are leading. After all the two of them have been getting along so well since all of this mess happened. Carol thinks she might be starting to see Rick as something else something more than just a leader, maybe more than just a friend. Carol just isn't ready to let another man into her heart just yet.

Carol clears her throat, the lump within it making it hard to speak around. "I wouldn't mind a chance to get out away from these walls. A change in scenery would be a nice change. Plus, we have to go and get more supplies for Judith, and no one here knows what a baby girl might need better than me. Speaking of Judith shouldn't she be with you?" Carol manages to say through her suddenly dry lips before she takes a sip of her tea. The familiar flavor of peppermint coating her tongue as it slides down her throat warming her up. Her eyes closing as she accepts the warmth into her body warming her inside to out.

Rick sits up in his chair a moan leaving his throat as the muscles in his back and shoulders protest the shift in his position. Rick reaches for his cup nodding his head in thanks toward Carol for preparing it for him. She's gotten to know him rather quiet well over the past month he has been joining her up here. Rick admires the look of contentment upon Carols face before her eyes open. "Sounds like a plan to me. Need to get you some more training in on how to handle those weapons of yours while we are out there. Beth has Judith for the moment, said she'd bring her this way once she was through giving Jude her evening bath. I'd be lost without both of you girls."

As those words left his lips Carol blushes and Rick turns towards the door hearing the approaching steps upon the stairs. A groan leaves his throat the thought of having to get up after just sitting down not sounding to pleasant on his mind or to his body. He was just beginning to relax here in Carol's presence; it was the only time of the day where he could allow his guard to fall down. Everyone has been watching him waiting to see if he would crack ever since they had placed Lori in the ground. These new people and his family didn't give him half of the credit he deserved. He was doing his best and sure sometimes he was going to fuck up but what mattered most was keeping these people alive. He didn't need them second guessing his actions, he did that enough to himself.

Carol hearing the moan coming from Rick gives off a short giggle, "Don't worry, you stay right there, I'll get the door." Carol smiles her blue eyes meeting Rick's warn out blues before getting up from her spot at the table. Tucking a loose curl back behind her ear Carol's hair hasn't grown much but it's becoming a nervous habit she had picked up again from many years ago back before Ed had shaved all of her hair off. She can feel Rick's eyes upon her as she crosses the room to the door. There's a bit of a bounce in her step and her hips are gently swinging as she glides across the floor as she feels the warmth of his gaze.

Rick licks his lips as they have suddenly gone dry while his eyes follow the sway of her body as she walks across the room to meet Beth at the door. His heart taking a pause as he watches Carol smile down at the young woman as she takes Judith into her arms. The pink bundle swaddled up in her warmth being held close to her chest warms Rick as he watches as she smiles down at the young whimpering babe. He takes in the gentle way her arms enclose protectively around the small being that is a part of himself. Rick can't help but staring at the woman who is quickly stealing his heart. He knows she has so much to give if someone would just help wake her heart up and show her that she has wings and teach her how to use them to fly. Rick can see all of the pain in her eyes as Carol is looking down at his daughter and he can't help but to want to make that pain that is lingering there melt away. He's wanting to touch her teach her and learn from her.

Carol looks up at Beth seeing the relief on the younger woman's face, "She's been a bit fussy tonight, nothing I try is helping. Hopefully the warmth from the bath will help sooth her." Beth looks up at Carol and hands her a made up bottle before turning around and making her way back to the prison.

Carol lets the door shut softly as she walks to the center of the room presenting the bottle to the whimpering babe. The weight in her arms filling a part of the hole in her heart. As Jude accepts the nipple into her mouth Carol begins to rock back and forth in a slow dance. Swaying from one side to another a lullaby thought to have been long forgotten comes to her lips as the bundle in her arms brings a joy to her that had been missing for some time. "Hold on to this lullaby. Even when music's gone just close your eyes the sun is going down. You'll be alright. No one can hurt you now. Come morning light. You and I will be safe and sound." Carol's voice catches in her throat as she licks her lips and fights to keep the smile on her face. The words falling from her lips are so very familiar to her heart and to be singing them again to another little girl that is quickly winning her over fills her with joy. Carol might not have been able to save her Sophia from the harsh lessons in life, but she could be there for Jude. She would be here for the little girl in her arms help teach her all of the things she would need to learn in order to live in this world.

At some point without Carol knowing it Rick had gotten up and out of his chair without making a sound he crossed the short distance to where Carol stood with Judith in her arms. So as not to startle the woman holding his daughter Rick placed his hands on her shoulders while holding his breath he moved in closer behind her. Rick's heart was beating nearly out of his chest while he let the air expand out of his lungs. He didn't want to ruin this moment by startling her. As Rick stood there behind her he though that if there ever was a woman that deserved to be called mother by any child it was her, it was carol.

The sight of _His_ child in her arms swept his breath away. The light of the moon was enveloping them within its light as she swayed there with his babe in her arms. Rick couldn't remember a moment that felt more right then this moment did. Rick took a step closer to Carol breathing her into his lungs, the scent of Carol and Judith mixing together within him to fill a whole within his heart. He knew he had to be there with them as long as she would accept him. He was nervous as he stood there wondering why did this moment in time feel so right? Why couldn't he remember looking upon Lori as she held Carl this way?

Rick's heart and mind where awaking coming out of a fog he had been floating in until now. Rick had barely acknowledged the babe resting there in Carol's arms. The thoughts of the child not being his plagued his mind night and day. The possibility of her rightful father being Shane broke his heart every time he looked down upon her. Looking down at her now and seeing her as a babe who was in need of a father no matter whose blood was running through her veins filled him with a want to fill that position in her life. If Carol could love a child that wasn't hers then surely Rick could surely do the same. The fact that he might not be her true father was beginning to drift away as the love for this child took over his heart. She might not be his by blood, but blood didn't matter now and days. What mattered in a world that was torn apart was simply loving and caring for each other.

Rick took a step closer removing his hands from her shoulders. He brought his hands down to rest on Carol's hips his hands lightly sitting there waiting to be rejected and hoping that they would be accepted. When Carol didn't pull away and her voice didn't ring out with a no Rick joined her in the slow sway of her body as she continued to sing softly.

Rick sighed in relief at not being rejected. Carol's voice was filling his ears along with the beat of his heart. His thoughts where filling his mind as he wondered why she hadn't shared this talent for sing before now? Why was this the first time he had ever heard her beautiful voice?

Carol leaned back into Rick his warmth enveloping her body as she lowered her right shoulder, so that he could see the sweet face of his daughter as she rested there safe within Carol's arms. She gasped out a heady breath when Rick moved his arms and wrapped them around her waist tighter his hands coming he rest on her hips. Carol's body sagged back into his warmth, her heart skipping a beat as he brought his head down and placed a kiss on her shoulder. "Thank you Carol, for providing and looking after my daughter. I'd be lost without you." Rick gave a gentle squeeze of his arms while pulling her back into him. Warmth was surrounding them and for the first time in a long time Rick felt as though he truly belonged somewhere. That maybe he had a place here beside her after all.

Carol continued to sway back and forth as Judith continued to take her bottle. Her mind was on overload. How could she be allowing this man to take her into his arms in such a manner? Didn't she want Daryl? Didn't she long to have him near her? Her thoughts where ranging inside her head. Of course she knew she would always want the silent hunter but she couldn't have what she wanted all of the time. This here and now felt like the right thing to her, Daryl had been the one to leave her; it wasn't the other way around. She wasn't going to wait around like a lost kitten waiting for her owner to come back and sweep her off her feet. Her heart had been let go when he choice to walk away from the prison, it was time for Carol to let go.

Carol knew what longing felt like, she had been in a loveless marriage and she would be damned if she was going to wait for a man that might never come back. She was going to take this path in front of her one step at a time one foot in front of the other. She wasn't going to fight this new possible path in front of her. If fate wanted her to head in another direction then that is what she was going to do, after all, she could die tomorrow and never know what it would feel like to be truly loved. And Carol, Carol longed to be "Loved".

Carol took a deep breath letting his sent and the warmth in the air into her lungs. She was older then the man behind her but when it came to age it was just a number. Age didn't matter when there was a possible spark between two people. Grabbing a hold of the warmth that was enveloping her she sent it into her heart and turned around while still locked with in Rick's arms. She was fighting; a war was going on inside of her. But she had to take that first step she had to give herself a fighting chance at a possible road that could fill all the holes inside of her heart. Part of Carol's heart was pounding out a new rhythm demanding that she answer its call while the other half shouted out loud about wanting another. Half of her heart still wanted Daryl, but he wasn't here. Her mind was screaming out to her that this here in this moment standing there in Rick's arms it felt right. _Why can't I be loved? Don't I deserve a bit of happiness in this life? Yes, I'll admit it I'm not ready to fall in love but that doesn't mean I can't be loved and care for another._

Carol looked up with longing in her blue eyes as she met Rick's eyes. Finding something more there than just the love for his daughter resting there, Carol places her head on Rick's chest once again a sigh leaving her lips. "I don't know if I can ever trust a man again. Don't know if I can ever fall in love, not sure if I'll ever be ready to." Her voice was coming out soft and stronger than how she felt at the moment and her words were almost lost within his chest missing his ears.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to love or trust again, not after what happened with Lori." Rick's voice was ringing in her ears. There was shaking and an under tone of longing. "But, I'm willing to try, to learn." Bringing one of his hands up to Carol's chin he brings her head up to meet his eyes. "I'm not Daryl, I'm not Ed. I am not either one of them Carol. I'm going to make mistakes and I'm not going to get things perfect. But if you want more than just my friendship you need to let me show you that I mean it."

Carol nodded her head while tears slipped through her eyes. Rick wasn't Ed and he wasn't Daryl, but he was a man willing to possibly love her. Willing to show her, Carol had never been showed by a man before what love was. Every time she had thought she had known what love might have been and felt like a door had been slammed in her face. Carol was a woman who hadn't known love from a man and at this point in her life when anything and everything was trying to kill her. Carol was willing to give this a try. A sweet gentle smile was gracing her lips as she nodded her head. Standing up on her tip toes she placed a kiss on his cheek as her hand fisted his shirt while being mindful of the child sleeping between them. "I'd like to give it a try." Carol said handing over his daughter. Rick accepted his daughter into his arms a smile shining through his eyes. As he brought his lips down to meet hers his words ghosting over her lips, "So would I, so would I." Rick whispered as his lips met hers. "I've got you Carol," he said while fitting her body perfectly next to his holding her close. A whisper of a promise to not let her go.

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When it comes to opening up ones heart it often takes on the form of a flower because it to needs time to allow it to bloom. If it pleases you please take the time to review! oxox


	3. Chapter 3 The Silent Hunter

**Thank you ladies once again for all of the love I am getting for this little story. I'm glad that it has grab the attention of some wonderful readers and reviewers. Here is our favorite hunter, not much carol in this part of the story sry. Hope everyone had a safe and blessed night. Happy New Year Ladies!**

**********DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not Lost Forever**

**The Silent Hunter**

Daryl was staring at the ceiling in the dark of the night with the same old empty feeling in his heart. He now knew what it felt like to be loved. And now he knew how love could come slowly to a wounded soul and that soul be blinded to what was right in front of it. He now understood the emptiness that had been filling him from the moment he had made the decision to not return to the prison. To stay by Merle's side and the consequences it held for him. Every step he took farther away from his family and home a hole in his chest grew a little bit bigger. The longing to see all of their faces made his heart clench painfully in his chest but none other face caused it to stop like the face of the woman he missed most of all. The one woman he had come to depend on in ways he had never depended on anyone before.

_Carol, I screwed up I shouldn't have walked away._

Daryl brought his head down onto the dusty wood bar. His arms where folded resting upon the dirty surface his eyes closed tight as he tried to imagine being in another place. Another place and time waited for him whenever he took a moment to close his eyes. Daryl only got to see the people and the woman he left behind when he would close his eyes or when he could fall into a deep enough sleep.

Daryl could never touch her and he could never keep a hold of her long enough to pull her into the waking world when he would awake. Carol was lost to him because he'd taken a different path a path that left her behind.

Daryl kept telling himself that he loved her too much to go back to the prison and ask her to come with him. The thought of doing that had crossed his mind a number of times while out there on the road. But he had dug himself to deeply back into his old familiar ways. An easy thing to do with his brother by his side, Merle was even now passed out over in the corner of the bar asleep.

They had stumbled upon the bar in the small town they had come across earlier that day. Seeking shelter and some form of warmth inside the four walls of the building. Daryl knew it was about 40 miles from the prison. Every time he tried to trek further away from the place he once called home, she would be there beckoning him back. As he lifted his head up off of his arms Daryl opened his eyes. His blue gaze was staring at his glass of whiskey sitting there on the dirty surface of the bar.

Daryl took a good look around him. The place had seen better days. Mildew and stale smoke and alcohol filled the air. Tables were turned over and chairs where laying there on their sides. A discarded cigarette butt was lying right next to his hand as he flicked it away. Over flowing ash trays littered every surface that was still standing. Every surface was covered in layers of dust and his eyes kept traveling back to the entrance, the door knob kept calling his name. The parking lot was filled with a few different vehicles and Daryl was thinking of hot wiring the truck that was just sitting out there and driving it back to the prison he had once called home. Seeing how his group his family was holding up without them there. Daryl scuffed he doubted they missed him at all, hell they probably already forgot about him.

The questions in his mind kept sneaking up. Had the governor struck back at them, where the gates holding up against the walkers? Did they miss him need him, want him? Did Carol long for him, as he was coming to learn that he longed for her?

It had been months since he had left them. The weather had turned colder since starting out on this trek with his brother. Daryl had been leading Merle in circles for a while now. Never wanting to leave the territory he had come to call home while his brother had been absent. It was an easy thing to do when his brother was drunk most of the time. Merle never had been one to stay out of the bottle. Daryl was just thankful he had managed to hide any pill bottles they had come across before Merle could snag them up.

Daryl sighed, his eyes dropping back down to the amber liquid being held in his hand. Swirling the liquid around in the cup with his hand he brought it up to his lips downing half of it. Not even getting lost in a bottle was helping him to drown out the noise that was pounding away in his head.

Measuring days in the spaces between the times was becoming harder to do since Daryl had set out on this trek with Merle. Learning to wait through the endless parade for sleep to grasp him in its arms to claim him and drag him down into the realm of dreams was becoming harder to do. But when he finally did give in and close his eyes the miles that separated him from his home from his family, from Carol melted away, as though she was there in his arms at the end of the day, safe there beside Daryl where she belonged.

_Swear I don't know if the days are as slow as they seem. Wonderin' when you'll be with me again? Finally can be more than just a dream  
But when I close my eyes I want only to stay. Where the farthest you are is a heartbeat away. Well I guess what they said was true, you only miss the sun when it starts to rain. Only know you love her when you let her go, know you've been high when you're feeling low, hating the road when you're missin' home._ Daryl hadn't thought of the prison as home until he had left it.

Daryl was staring at the bottom of his glass, swirling the brown liquor around in his cup before they travel right back to that door. Back and forth his eyes travel. Hoping one day he'd make a dream that could last but knowing that dreams can only come true when you put them into action. Daryl closes his eyes as he downs what is left in his glass. He sees her when he closes his eyes and can't help but thinking, _maybe one day you'll understand why everything I touch gets fucked up._

Daryl slammed the cup down onto the bar and stood up grabbing the half empty bottle of whiskey as he picks back up his glass and throws it across the damn room. Daryl knows he shouldn't be drinking that he needs a clear head but he wants to drown tonight in a bottle. He'd had enough of this worrying shit; it was time he took things into his own hands. Starting tomorrow he was going to lead Merle back toward the prison.

Daryl took a swig from the bottle and as the heat of the liquor made its way down his throat warming his body and chasing away the chill that had settled into his bones. As the warmth swept through out his body his head fell back and his eyes closed tightly. An image of Carol appeared behind his closed eyes. She was up in the guard tower and standing in the moon light it was all around her bathing her in its beauty. Carol was singing her voice was gentle and soft, as she stood there swaying back and forth a bundle was there safe with in her arms.

Lil ass kicker was drifting off to sleep in contentment. Her body being held close to Carol's heart, Daryl gave a shake of his head trying his best to clear his head but the image there still lingered. Daryl brought his head up and stumbled over to his corner of the bar. He was ready to head home, back to the people he missed…he laughed at the thought of actually missing someone other than Merle. _Yeah Im whipped, fuck you Merle!_

Daryl managed to make his way over to the corner where his backpack and crossbow where resting up against the wall. Daryl bending forward placed the familiar crossbow over his shoulder before staggering back up onto his feet. He made his way to the door of the bar. Moving the small barraged that rested there to keep out any intruders with a turn of the knob he made his way outside into the softly falling rain. He stood there for a moment looking up and down the street. It was deserted tonight a comfort to him as he turned back around and shut the door tight to the bar once more securing it with a few tables and chairs that had once been used on warm summer nights to entertain outside. Daryl stacked the chairs in front of the door along with the tables knowing that Merle was unlikely to wake up anytime soon. Even if hell came a knocking at the door Merle was three sheets to the wind and there would be no waking him anytime soon.

Daryl sighed, his small chore of protecting his brother once more accomplished as he made his way over to the large Ford truck in the parking way. After trying all the door handles he found the driver's side to be the only one unlocked. He climbed on up and into the truck finding the keys to still be in the ignition. _Talk about having lady luck on his side,_ Daryl thought as he climbed in shutting the door. He started her up and noticed there was about a quarter of a tank missing; lady luck was surely on his side this night. There was plenty in the tank to get him to the prison and back well before dawn.

A soft musical tune started drifting from the speakers. It wasn't Daryl's usual type of music but hell any sound now and days was welcoming to his ears. He sat there allowing the truck to warm up while he bobbed his head to the beat of the drums. Gods how he had missed the sound of noise, the air now and days was much too silent. Besides the moaning and groaning of walkers… and that of his brother the world that surrounded him now was mostly kept silent. At times he longed to hear the old familiar sounds of a car alarm screaming out into the night or even an ice cream truck would be great right about now. The humidity tonight was beating down on his body and he was thankful for the light rain that was making its journey out of the sky. Sure there was a chill in the air but nothing that affected his body.

Daryl gave a shake of his head and turned the music down low as he pulled out of the parking lot and made his way onto the road he was fighting his demons. On one shoulder the voice of Merle was shouting at him about being their whipping boy and leaving him there without any protection. On the other shoulder Carol was silently standing there encouraging him beckoning to him to come closer. Her eyes where shining brightly as the moonlight bounced off of her skin. She was holding baby Judith in her arms once again.

Daryl hit the steering while with his right hand he missed the family he left behind back at the prison and that is why he was setting out on this mission. A family, what a new set of over whelming feelings that one word brought to his mind. Daryl hadn't had a family before sure he had Merle and once upon a time a drunken sperm donor. But he had never had a family before that had showed him he was meant for more than just a punching bag someone to do all the hard work laying around. _Just one quick look just enough to make sure the fence and walls are still standing and then I'll turn right around._

While Daryl drove along the empty road and keeping the truck from hitting wandering walker for a good hour he allowed the stress in his body to melt away as he settled into the seat. His thought where coming back to the fore front of his mind as he drove the truck into the familiar territory that surrounded the prison.

Daryl shut the head lights off. He didn't want to alert any friend or foe to his ware a bouts. Pulling of onto a rock driveway he drove it through the small cropping of trees that hid a nearby house. A house that he had scouted out before and had discussed with Rick to keep it as a fall back point in case the prison was ever over ran.

Daryl brought the truck to a stop shutting off the engine; he reached over and opened the glove box remerging through papers finding a flash light and a knife he grabbed both while picking his crossbow up out of the passenger seat. Opening his driver side door and making sure there were no nearby walkers about he made his way out into the still softly falling rain.

Approaching the house he noticed the silence, no sounds where coming from within the buildings four walls. Daryl was glad that so far by the looks of things the family he had left behind hadn't left the prison as of yet. He crept up to the house and looked in through a small window beside the door and found the home to be dark on the inside. No sounds of a baby could be heard from outside, no one whispering and the walls had no stories to tell him as Daryl backed up and away from the house. He had to make sure that no one was with in the four walls, that the floor was still just covered in dust and no remains from a battle lingered. Moving around the home till he came to the unlatched window he made his way up to it and lifted it high enough for him to squeeze through it.

Upon entering the building even though his heart told him it was empty he still kept his guard up his crossbow stayed in his hands. Thanks to the light being provided by the moon and his eyes having adapted long ago to the dark in the woods Daryl managed to move about the old house. Finding most of the down stairs rooms as he had left them Daryl made his way up the stairs. Being as quiet as the stairs would let him traveled up wards and checked behind all the doors to the rooms up there until he came upon the master bedroom. His hand on the handle he entered the room and upon entering found there to be more supplies filling the room. "Good," Daryl thought their still here and using this place as storage.

Leaving the room exactly as he had found it he shut the door and made his way back outside out of the house. His shoulders dropped a little knowing that if this house went untouched then the prison was likely to still be standing. Daryl managed to walk the rest of the way to the prison by following a deer's well-worn path as he stuck to the woods. He'd managed to catch two rabbits along the way as well as take down five walkers that had been tailing him. When he finally came upon the prison his heart was beating so rapidly that it was up in his throat. The drumming of his heart beat could be heard with in his ears as he gave a shake of his head trying to make sense of all that he was seeing. The fence was still standing, the gates where still whole and up on the guard tower was a familiar form of the woman he silently yearned for. Carol was there her head turned up at the stars and he smirked at the familiarity of it all. Not too far from Carol stood a man, his skin was dark and he looked to be tall and well built, in the man's arms looked to be a bundle. Lil Ass Kicker Daryl thought maybe perhaps, but who the fuck was this new man up there with her? His fists where clenched at his side.

Daryl crept a little bit closer he was hoping he might be able to hear any words being said over the sound of the walkers that where crowding the gate and the rain that was coming down now at a more rapid rate. As he loomed there in the shadows he watched the exchange of the bundle from the man's arms into Carols. He watched as Carol moved the blanket away to show the face of the babe that had to be Judith a couple of months older but he'd be able to recognize the babe from just about anywhere. After all he had been the first one to feed her and from that simple feeding he had built up a bond with her.

Daryl looked on the two ladies that had stolen something from him with in his heart. He took deep breaths as he watched the big man place a hand on her shoulder. Daryl's body was tightening up every coil inside of him ready to spring at a moment's notice if he deemed it to be so. For some reason he didn't like the way the man was looking down at Carol and he watched as she smiled and patted his hand on her shoulder as he turned away. Daryl followed the man with his eyes as he made his way down the stairs and back across the yard.

_Good stay the fuck away from her._

Daryl's eyes made their way back up to Carol as he watched her sway back and forth. He was in awe of the beauty before him there she stood safe and sound behind the glass of the windows guard tower. Gods he'd missed the sight in front of him he just never knew how much until this moment was now before him. All must be well inside the prison if the babe is being allowed in there and outside of the walls and the safety with in the prison. Daryl gave a shake of his head trying to dislodge the hair that had fallen into his eyes. The rain was coming down now much harder and it was dangerous enough as it was to journey at night. At least he had managed to make it here in one piece it's a good thing the alcohol barely affected him. He scuffed _thanks to Merle I could have drowned half the bottle and still not felt the effects._

Daryl peered through slit drawn eyes to get one last look at the woman standing there in the guard tower. Damn, did she look beautiful tonight with the moonlight on her what little bit managed to make its way out of the clouds. _I'm comen back woman; I have a lot to make up for._

By the time Daryl had made his way back to the truck and was once again on the road he was running plans through his head. He was trying to figure out a safe way to get Merle inside of that prison without a riot happening. He pulled a cigarette out of the pack he kept in his shirt pocket and lit it up. Taking a drag off of it he let the familiar action and scent comfort him. For now he had the open road ahead of him and a possible future waiting on him.

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A glimpse at what our hunter has been going through. An absent heart will only grow fonder the further apart it comes to find itself from its mate. Thank you for reading if your up to it I'd love a review let me know what you like/ dont like about it so far. oxox


	4. Chapter 4 Chasing Away Demons

**Thank you again ladies for the wonderful reviews with out you all encouraging me this would be so much harder to do. Please do be ware that there will be a bit of a dark scene it isn't really all that bad and dark I just want to warn you before hand that sometimes in order to move on we have to face our darkness. oxox**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not Lost Forever**

**Chasing away Demons**

The air was crisp with the scents of last night's rain still lingering on the air even now at mid-day. Carol took a deep breath into her lungs enjoying the clean smell that still lingered there. The smell of wet grass and the fragrance of flowers hung heavily around her. It was a nice change compared to the usual decay that lingered around her. Carols head was thrown back one hand up to shield her eyes as she looked up at the sky. The sun was shining through what little amount off of clouds that could be seen up in that great big blue sky dancing above her.

Carol smiled, an expression of peace washing over her face as she brought her head back down and busied herself with her task. Without the modern use of electricity and modern gadgets they had to do once easy chores of everyday life now by hand.

Carol was standing out in the court yard her hands busily at work at hanging the laundry up on the line. It was a new rhythm to an old rhyme for her, oh how she missed her Maytag washer and dryer. At least this kept her mind from drifting off into her past. Her hands repeating the same actions, remove an article of clothing shake it out place it up on the line and pin it. Carol sighed, she felt like a damn robot performing the same actions day after day. Her heart was stuck longing for a change. As she finished the work laid out in front of her she picked up the now empty basket as she stared out over the yard and into the distance where a small grouping of trees stood tall. She longed for a form to come walking out of that grouping of trees. She knew now it was unlikely to happen and it made her heart clench deep within her chest. As she stood there her eyes and her heart seeking a butterfly came and danced all around her. Carol followed the beautiful delicate form until it landed on her right index finger still holding onto the basket. She giggled and then held her breath, worried that the sound of her laughter would frighten her new friend away.

Carol watched the butterfly open and close its wings. She was memorized by the beautiful color and pattern that was printed upon its wings. It took flight a few minutes later and she watched as it looped through the air off to find yet another flower in order to survive. Even though the scene had only lasted a moment Carol came to realize the true meaning behind the butterfly as her eyes once more traveled up ward and a smile graced her lips. A tear made its way down her face as she nodded toward the heavens.

"I understand baby girl and your right. If you love something you must let it go, and if it should return to you then it is meant to be. I miss you sweet heart, never forget mama loves you, always." Bringing her hand up she rested her fingers against her lips kissing them and then proceeded to blow the kiss into the air. Carol stood there as she watched the wind pick up around her and then brought her head down with a smile gracing her face, heart feeling lighter and with a spring in her step as she turned around her back to the clothes line she walked back to the prison to continue her day.

**~*Not Lost Forever*~**

While her chores outside are now done for the time being until the clothes on the line are dry she keeps herself busy. The newest youngest member of their group needs a temporary bed. Carol is busy preparing a cardboard box when the sound of approaching feet makes their way up the stairs. Her hands are busily folding and resizing the blankets that will help to pad the bottom on the bed for the little girl she is coming to love so much. Meeting Beth's eyes as she reaches the top of the stairs Carol smiles, "You've got a knack for that," she comments her voice coming forth strong and loud enough for the girl to hear as she looks down into the box.

"Just trying to do my part," Beth states as she reaches the cat walk. She knows she is the youngest female in the group and she wants to do her part as small as it might be. As unknown to her as it is she is trying to learn.

"Sophia used to wake the neighbors," a smile is hidden there on Carols lips to hide the pang of longing for her little girl as she keeps her hands busily moving. "3:00 A.M. Like clockwork. Ed used to stay at a friend's most nights till she calmed down." Carol says while she continues her work not looking up at the girl. An old ache is in her chest at the mention of her life and how it had once been with Ed. She doesn't miss him at all; it's the ache from missing Sophia that is driving her forward demanding that her hands are kept busy. The picture of the butterfly enters her mind and she gentle smiles remembering her childs sweet gift.

"I always wanted a child," looking down at the child in her arms old dreams and wishes pass over her eyes as she looks up and smiles meeting Carol's eyes. Her mind pondering their situation and how it is very unlikely she will be able to meet someone and have a child of her very own. "She wouldn't have made it if Daryl hadn't been here. He couldn't stand to lose anyone else." Beth continues to bounce the young one in her arms up and down doing her best to keep her calm.

Carol keeps her head down still arranging the blankets keeping her hands and her mind busy as she is trying to squash the pain that goes shooting throughout her heart at the mention of his name. "Sounds like him," Carol manages to get out around the tightening of muscles in her throat the words leaving her lips on a barely there whisper.

"I don't see why he had to leave." Looking at the woman next to her Beth's temper is raising a notch. "Merle sounds like a jerk."

Carol pauses, her hands no longer moving as flashes of Merle of Ed overwhelm her memory. Her life time of pain at Ed's head is warring with images of a cruel Merle back at the quarry camp flash throughout her thoughts. Ghosts of a shadowed past old wounds flaring to life as she hears inside her head Ed's evil laugh meshing with Merles "Men like Merle get into your head, makes you feel like you deserve the abuse." Carol looks up from her work meeting Beth's eyes, she's speaking from history and if the girl knew what to look for she would see the experiences that haunted Carol's dreams. She looks away once again returning to her work at hand.

"Even for Daryl?" Beth asks her eyes glued to Carols face as she watches the woman pause in her work and gives a short shake of her head. Carol's mind is fighting the darkness within images of how she took the axe to Eds head and the feelings that soared through out her body durng the act fill her giving her strength. She's remembering the woman she was once upon a time and seeing the image of herself today and all of the wonderful chages she has made. The butterfly pops up in her mind and pulling strength from that image she is seeing herself in a whole new light.

Beth's watching with curious eyes as Carol stairs off into the distances seeing the unseen an image only her eyes have witnessed before. "I'm hardly the woman I was a year ago," she comments looking over at Beth before her eyes return to the prison block doors. "But if Ed walked in that door right now breathing and told me to go with him," Carol turns her head looking over at Beth before her eyes return to the open doorway. "I'd like to think I'd tell him to go to hell." As the image leaves her thoughts she continues to busy her hands. That was a life time ago and she's grown stronger than the woman she once was. She refuses to listen to the voice of Ed in her head any longer. As she checks the bottom of the homemade crib and finding it lacking Carol pushes forward refusing to let her old life rule over her.

"You would."

Carol rotates her head back and forth as her memory recalls the haunting memories of being left behind once again her attitude taking on a change "It doesn't matter," the words leave her lips as she walks over to the hanging blankets that had been lying there in waiting on the bars. Her last run with Rick had gone rather well when it came to finding baby supplies and carol's heart skips for a moment remembering the comfort she had found while in his presence on that one simple outing. Taking one of the blankets into her hands and giving it a light shake she looks over as Beth starts speaking.

"We're weak without him."

"We'll get through this, too." Carol starts walking back over folding the blanket with in her hands. Placing it onto the bottom of the cardboard bed looking down at her work, "Tyreese and his friends seem capable." Her work done with the bed Carol looks over at Beth.

"I'm pissed at him for leaving." The young woman in front of her comments and carol knows that Beth has lost so much already and while losing Daryl was hard for them all many of the others have let the pain go.

"Don't be," Though Carol is mad at him for leaving and breaking her heart for not at least stopping by and telling them telling her goodbye she still understands. For all of the things the man has done for her, she knows she has seen with her own two eyes that he has honor. That there is something more to Daryl then what he allows others to see. That there is more to the man that makes him the man that he is after all she has stood beside him in this group for a while now and both of them have always looked after one another. Carol can still feel his eyes upon her when she walks into a room, even though he is not there in person his spirit still lingers.

"Daryl has his code. This world needs men like that." Looking up from her work and smiling at Beth she turns to accept the babe into her arms.

"Oh hello," Carol greets Judith taking her into her arms smiling down upon her. The warmth of the babe resting in her hands seeps through her to warm her heart and chaise away the burning ache of being left behind once again. Carol smiles up at Beth finding the act to be easier than it had been just a few minutes ago and makes her way over to the stairs. "I'll see you in a bit sweetie I'm going to drop this little one off to spend some time with her daddy and then I'm heading out to the tower for my shift."

~*Not Lost Forever*~

In the darkness he sits. The four walls around him are slowly working their way in caving in around him as he is sitting there propped up in a chair. His feet are hooked around two different legs anchoring his body. While his fingers are running through his hair, they are becoming stuck in the long strands that are long overdue for a cut. Fingers tightening around those long strands pulling and tugging causing physical pain, pain he is using to keep him from slipping away. The warmth in the room is suffocation him there's a block in his throat making it hard for him to gasp in a mouth full of air, his breathing is shallow. Tremors are rocking his body, muscles straining demanding that his feet be put into motion to chaise away the ghosts that are lingering there taunting him. He yearns to toss the chair that he is sitting upon even now to the ground and tare it part with his hands. He craves the destruction the pain that would come from tearing the wood apart with his fingers.

Rick's eyes are shut tightly against the voices he is hearing inside his head. He knows in his heart that they aren't real. They aren't there but every cell with in his body is crying out at him to react to their taunting. "How could you do that to me? You were my best friend, I loved you like you where my own brother." Shane's voice came at him followed closely by Lori's "It wasn't a surprise, I knew you would let me go that you didn't ever really love me, you not being there in the end only strengthened my belief."

"I'm bleeding out so if the last thing that I do is bring you down I'll bleed out for you So I bare my skin And I count my sins I close my eyes and I take it in. I'm bleeding out; I'm bleeding out for you, for you." Around and around the voice kept repeating not ever quieting. Sometimes when he would be alone no one else near him they would appear out of nowhere in front of his eyes. Haunting him. Teasing him. Making his soul bleed out. Beckoning to him calling him closer in to the arms of madness his mind slips a little bit further away, as memories keep moving forward, as though they are on replay in side of his mind.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Carol has been searching for a while now, usually Rick isn't this hard to find. She's gone to his cell and out of the cell block into the meeting area but there is still no signs of Rick to be found. Walking outside with the babe asleep in her bed she covers her eyes as the sun is starting to sink and the moon is starting to rise and carol looks out onto the prison grounds as her body is overwhelmed by worry and dreading. Still there is no sign of Rick. Her heart is starting to quicken as she walks back inside coming upon Axel, Tyreese and Sasha asking if they have seen him as they are returning from repairs on the other side of the prison. They all shake their heads when she asks them if they might know where he has gone.

Carol gives her thanks and a nod of her head as Carl walks by her, she stops him with a hand on his shoulders. "Have you seen your dad?"

Carl turns around looking up at her a frown on his face, "Not for about a few hours now. Why?"

"It's time for him to take Judith I'm needed soon out at the tower for my shift and I haven't been able to find him. No one has seen him around." Carol tells the boy sitting the sleeping Jude down on a nearby table.

Carl moves closer looking down at his sister and seeing that she is still safe and sleeping give a nod of his head. "I'll keep an eye on her in our cell if you want to go looking for him." He brings up his head staring at Carol, wanting needing to be helpful somehow.

"Could you please? I'm going to head into the tombs we have cleared out see if he's back there somewhere busily doing something. You know your dad wants he gets going on something he loses track of the living." Carol says her voice light and playful while on the inside everything is screaming, no not another one I can't lose him to.

"Sure, not a problem I can handle a baby." Carl takes up Judith in her warm bed and moves toward the groups cell block.

Tyreese moves over placing a hand on her shoulder. We'll be here for a while it's our turn to cook dinner if you need some help just holler."

Carol nods her head and pats Tyreese's hand on her shoulder as her head turns to look at him meeting his eyes. "Thank you," she manages to whisper as she walks away Tyreese's hand slipping from her shoulder. He watches her figure until she turns the corner leaving the area.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Carol has been searching in the darkness for over half an hour now. Flashlight and trusty knife held out in front of her. Her mind dragging up images of walkers trying to grab her, has her heart racing faster. T-Dog is there in the shadows watching over her guarding her back and though she knows for a fact he isn't really there she can still feel his presence and it's the only thing keeping her from having a heart attack. As Carol turns a corner she can hear a chair scraping across the floor and her hand flies up to her chest in hopes that the sound isn't being made by a walker. Placing one foot in front of the other holding her light up high as she moves to check a room on her left she enters finding Rick. She steps into the room lowering her light, placing her knife back into the sheath attached to her belt at her side. Carol takes in the sight before her and it breaks her heart. _Oh Rick, what are you doing to yourself?_ She can't help but to wonder as she sees him sitting there. His hands are grasping at the ends of his hair tugging and pulling. Feet hooked around the legs of the chair and she watches as his body is trembling. His head is moving violently from one shoulder onto the other as if he is listening to the unseen. She moves forward silently.

Carol starts humming the familiar lullaby she has been singing to Judith every night. Hoping that the melody will calm him. She moves forward placing her hand upon his shoulder. Ricks shoulder jumps underneath her touch and she smiles a little as she jumps in reaction. Carol glides her fingers over his shirt until her hand comes to meet his bare skin. Goose bumps are appearing there as she continues to ghost her finger tips slowly down his arm to rest on top of his hand.

Rick tilts his head back as his heart comes to life to notice that there is a gentle touch traveling from the top of his shoulder downwards till it meets with the bare skin on his arm. Rick's eyes start coming into focus as they follow the pathway of fire that gentle touch is creating with in him. Slowly the gentle touch begins to chaise away the dark mist that is surrounding him and as that touch travels down his arm to rest on his fingers the voices are cleared out of his head. For now all is silent with in.

Carol moves around to kneel in front of him. The words leaving her lips on a soft whisper, "Come back to me Rick, I can't lose you too." The look on her face as Rick glances up at her for a moment is painful.

Rick sits forward in his chair head bobbing forward. His hands move to clasp onto hers before sliding up her arms and pulling her forward, forcing Carol to stand up as his hands loosen their grip on her arms as they move to enclose around her waist tugging her into the space between his legs. He anchors her there as his head comes to rest on her stomach his arms tightening around her. "Thank you," whispered words leave his lips as the stress melts away from his body. With carol standing here before him he is no longer alone she has saved him. Though his being rescued by her is unknown to her she chaises away the darkness that secretly haunts him. Carol runs her fingers through his hair and with every pass of her fingertips messaging his scalp he starts to feel a little bit more like himself. If Rick where a cat he would be purring right now. The last time a woman had really touched him had been done in anger and this angel's touch was calling out to his heart and his soul. Warmth envelops him.

Rick moves slowly away his head coming up off of her stomach. Looking up his eyes coming to life at half-mast peering up from underneath his eyelids to find his savior, his angels baby blue eyes are looking down at him with such a gentle look of understanding. His whole body shudders as he takes in a deep cleansing breath. Carol's scent is filling his lungs seeping deeply under his skin and he can't help but to wonder if he is committing a sin. A sin to a man that he calls brother. As he looks up at her he can't help but to think, _Daryl left her it's his loss and my gain. This is MY chance! My chance, to prove to Carol that she is more! More than just a play thing, she will see it and she will feel it. Or I'll die trying. _The thoughts run through his head as he shifts his body in order to stand. Rick raises his hand's slowly drifting them over her body as he brings them up to her face. He brings his head down to hers brushing his noise against hers before he gives a turn of his head his hands dropping down off of her face to circle around her waist. Rick pulls her forward and both of their hearts race as a thrill of electricity runs through their joined touch to shoot throughout their bodies. Rick smiles before bringing his eyes up to meet hers asking for permission.

Carol smiles looking up into Rick's eyes her head dipping once in a wordless "yes" and that is all of the encouragement Rick needs as his head tilts further to the side and surges forward his lips meeting Carol's in a warm searing kiss. While they stand there Rick is pulling Carol all the more closer into his warmth as a flower bud seems to burst open inside their hearts and a single flower petal blooms forward. 

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Review me if it pleases you it always pleases me when you do and you have my thanks for giving this story a chance. oxox


	5. Chapter 5 Longing To Let Go

**This chapter is different for me. I've never written interaction between Rick and Carol that dances on a romantic note... On that note I hope you all are doing well and are stay safe and warm. Once again Thank you ladies for reading and reviewing. oxox**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not Lost Forever**

**Longing To Let Go**

The weather was once again changing. The nights where growing longer and colder and the days where cooler and shorter. Autumn was surely on its way moving closer as summer drifted further away. The leaves on the trees where all turning different shades of colors from red orange and yellow to brown, many of them had already turned and had been shed onto the ground. Their many array of colors making a quilt of miss matched colors and patterns where ever the wind carried them. Flowers where losing their petals quickly, their fragrance was long gone, swept away by the dancing wind. Carol laid out in the prison yard on a blanket, a flower resting in her hand upon her chest, her fingers petting the soft petals as she lays resting there. Her other arm is under neither her head propping her head up off of the hard ground. Baby Judith was resting fast asleep right nest to her, burrowed in to her heat. It was time for Jude's afternoon nap and it was a perfect day to soak up some of the sun heat as she lay there resting fast asleep. As she lay resting there soaking up the suns light a sweet baby sigh would leave her lips, Carol would smile being reminded of Sophia. The way her sweet little girl use to make the same sounds in her sleep when she to was a babe.

Most of the chores for the day had been done. There was very little to do while they waited for the others to come back from yet another run. They where preparing themselves for the unknown and getting ready for winter. Off in the near distance Carol heard a girl's giggle and she smiled to herself thinking, "_aw, young love_."

Beth and Carl were laid out on a blanket not far from where she and Judith rested. They where sharing a comic Michonne and Tyreese had managed to find while out on a trip gathering supplies from a nearby housing settlement. The relationship between the two travelers had been growing. Michonne and Tyreese often seeking each other out when it came to taking long trips. Supplies where becoming harder to find. Tyreese and Sasha where getting along well with in the group. As the time passed and weeks turned into months the outsiders where being accepted with in the group as walls where being torn down and bonds were being built up.

As Carol laid there her eyes toward the sky she watched as clouds drifted bye and new ones rolled right. The passage of time was drifting by slowly so many things had changed in her life that as she laid there silently staring up at the clouds she couldn't help but making out their shapes to be all of the things that she loved. Before she knew it there in the shape of a cloud was a sheriff's star and the image brought a feeling of joy to her spirit. It had been a little over two weeks since she had found Rick glued to that chair lost with in the darkness of a past that haunted him. Since finding him there they had grown closer.

Rick was never too far from where ever she happened to be. As the days passed the bond between them only grew stronger and the whole inside if her kept growing smaller. The time spent in his presence was chasing the voices of her past out of the way to create new ones that didn't harm her. Carol was fining it easier to breath once again. Her eyes still often drifted over to that wooded forest past the prison gates waiting for the silent hunter to appear. She was still working towards moving forward even though the hole in her heart still tended to ache from time to time, Carol was learning.

Carol and Rick's relationship had grown ever since they had taken the first steps out of the dark and into the light. All of those with in the prison could see it with their own eyes. Many had been surprised at the developing relationship between the two of them. For in their eyes they still thought of Carol as someone who was still connected to the silent hunter that had left them behind. While Daryl might have left them without saying anything most of the group felt that it was best for carol to move on.

Oh yes they had noticed the secret glances and protective barrier Daryl had always kept around her but with his departure that part of what could have been, had it been allowed to grow between them had left her. The group understood that Carol deserved to be loved just as much as everyone else. When Rick and Carol had walked into the cell block together fingers interlocked lips swollen and plump the group their family had moved forward and welcomed them in with open arms.

Carl had been the last one to greet them and as he passed a now wide awake Jude into his father's arms he had walked right up to Carol a frown upon his face. "I can't say that I agree but you won't hear me complain. Whatever you do don't hurt him, not like my mom did."

Carol's eyes come back in to focus loosing the sight of the star that had once been in front of her. Looking around as she is being brought out of her memory she comes to find Rick when looking behind her. She turns her head around focusing on the sound when she hears the sound of laughter behind her. Flipping over onto her stomach she watches as Rick stands there a bucket in hand and by the looks of the smile on his face and the empty bucket swinging in the air he has just poured its contents all over Carl's head.

Poor Carl is sitting there sopping wet as Beth sits next to him on their shared blanket her hand thrown up over her mouth while trying to keep in her laughter. The hat upon Carl's head was drooping due to the amount of water pressure pushing it down further covering his eyes. Carl's face is stuck in the expression between horror and surprise.

Carol laughs; oh how she wished there was a camera the look on Carl's face was priceless. Reminding her of Carl's youth and just how fast the boy in front of her is growing so fast.

Looking up her eyes leaving the sight of the boy her eyes met with Ricks as he stood standing there a smirk on his face. The smirk was doing a world of good for the man standing there; it was chasing the lines of worry and stress away. It made him look younger and it grabbed at Carol's heart to see this playful side coming out in the man. It left a joyful feeling washing over her that started at her heart strings and traveled down to her toes. As her eyes traveled down his face she took in his stance. One of his hands was resting up on his hip, while the other hand was still holding the bucket up high in the air. Before she could look any lower Carl jumped up off of ground tossing the hat from his head he ran right in to his dad and tackled him onto the ground.

"Get'em Carl." Beth shouted out in between gasping breaths. The poor girl was now holding her sides in both of her hands having lost the battle to keep her laughter in a while ago. She was kneeling in the grass away from the boys.

"You better watch out Rick one of these days he might grow to be bigger than you." Carol shouted as she picked up the now awake Judith into her arms. Sitting down cross legged onto the blanket she pointed out to the babe in her arms, "Look at that Jude baby your big brother is in a head lock due to tackling your daddy."

Carol was smiling as she explained to the little girl in her arms that her daddy had snuck up on Carl reading and had managed to douse him in water. She reached over to the diaper bag situated near by reaching inside she pulled everything out that was need to prepare a bottle for Judith. As Carol was screwing the nipple onto the bottle Rick came over to join her. Dropping down onto her blanket leaning back on his elbows Rick smiled up at her.

"Hello, my beautiful angels," left his lips as he came forward and placed a kiss on Judith's head. He was a bit out of breath from horsing around with his boy but his face was glowing from the smile that could be found there.

Carol returned the smile on his face with one of her own as Beth and Carl made their way over. Carl had retrieved his hat while walking over and managed to pop his dad in the head with it spilling what little amount of water that lingered on to Rick's head returning his earlier favor. Over one of his arms was the blanket he and Beth had been laying upon.

"We'll take Judith inside with us if you like get her out of the sun and get her changed after her bottle." Beth said moving forward dropping to her knees holding her arms out to accept the baby.

"Sure sweetie." Carol lifted the little one in her arms and passed her on to Beth. "I'll be in there soon it's my turn to make the evening meal before I have to go on shift."

Taking the babe into her arms Beth stood up, "Sounds good, see ya both then."

Carl turned around hitting his dad with the wet blanket in the face, "You're getting to be slow in your old age." He said laughing at Rick as he walked away guiding Beth back toward the safety of the prison. Before they turned the corner Carl looked over his shoulder and shouted out at his father, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do dad."

"I better not catch you doing anything I'm about to do son or else your likely to find some unhappy fathers trigger in your face." Rick hollered in between laughter over one of his shoulders as he moved his body forward pulling Carol to lie down beside him.

Not being happy with their position Rick turned onto his side propping himself up on one arm his head resting on the hand holding his head up. His fingertips where resting on the side of Carol's face and he used them to tilt her head in his direction as he was peering down at her through half closed eyes he bent his head forward and captured her lips. The kiss lingered for only a moment but a moment was long enough to leave her feeling wanted…needed…loved

"Hello Angel," The words left his lips and Carol's heart started skipping a beat deep within her chest as her spirit rejoiced. Rick's fingertips moved down from her face as they glided over her neck where he stopped to place a kiss at the hollowed slope there, where he could feel her pulse beating rapidly and he smiled. His fingertips continued to move down over her shoulder to stop teasingly over one of her soft rounded mounds finding it to be a little more than a handful.

Carol moaned deep in her throat a purr leaving her lips as her hands move under their own power to fist his shirt in her hands. Her fingers moved swiftly and slowly to start working the buttons. When the task was completed she started tugging the wet shirt off of the shoulder that wasn't supporting his body. Rick moved away for a moment as he discarded the wet article of clothing away from his body. Moving back to Carol's side Rick's fingers traveled back to the soft mound he was enjoying earlier sinking his fingers inside her shirt and lifting out his prize. Rick gave her nipple a playful flick and a twist with his pointer finger and thumb. Before bringing his head down and kissing the peak into a hard pebble. He continues to distract her with light feather kisses creating a fiery pathway up over the swell of her breast back to the hollow between her shoulder and neck. As he tucked her back in his eyes looking around, he didn't need anyone seeing them like this. Rick's hand then continued its path down over her stomach to encircle her waist. Where he gave a tug on her hip asking permission, as silent wordless conversation happens between two sets of baby blue eyes.

Carol's eyes were hooded and her breathing was growing heavy while giving her consent with a nod of her head. She wanted to slide against him to sink into his arms that would hold her close with their strength. To be allowed to be loved by this man lying next to her if only for just a moment to have a place to belong by someone's side that cared for her. She didn't need to rely on him she just wanted to be wanted cared for and loved.

Rick leaning forward places a kiss on her lips as he is pulling her upper body up to meet with his as he moves to lie back down. One of his arms going behind his back as the arm on her waist travels up to her hair to run his fingers through the short soft curls there. "I've got you Carol, go ahead and rest." He can't help but to shift a little bit closer to her as the little amount of distance between their two bodies is too much for his liking. He couldn't help but to admire how her body fit so perfectly against his even as they were lying there like two puzzles pieces fitting together even after being left outside in the rain. It was Rick's first taste of heaven resting there with her in his arms. He's been fighting his demons for so long he's almost forgotten how good it could feel to have a woman rest in his arms.

As Carol lies there her body relaxing she falls under the suns power her eyes close as her heart starts accepting. The things this man says to her, has her blood singing and her stomach taking flight in the form of a hundred butterflies. She couldn't control the wild thumping of her heart or the dark flood of regrets that came with the overwhelming thoughts of betrayal that where screaming out in her head Daryl's voice sounding firm "Fight him. Don't let him touch ya."

Carol's brain was shouting back at him to "shut up" while her heart was beating out that familiar rhythm from the sound of his voice in her head. Carol settled her body halfway over Rick's a sigh leaving her lips to ghost over his chest as he held her. If she could purr she would, with every stroke of his fingers running through her hair as she laid there her mind and body started relaxing and she found herself slipping into the world of dreams.

**~*Not Lost Forever*~**

Daryl was alone walking through out a heavily misted forest. His crossbow held tightly within his grasp held up high bolt loaded in preparation. He'd been traveling through these woods for what felt like hours though in reality it had only been a few moments. His feet where leading him along a deer's well-worn path winding around trees and over a good size flowing river bank. Merle was passed out somewhere once again this time he was as high as a kite caught in a storm. They had been traveling for weeks now moving around herds of walkers that only seemed to grow large in numbered as hours increased and the days passed. They had found a local sheriffs office in the middle of town and being low on everything had moved on in seeking shelter. Daryl should have known better then to stop in a location that might have a holding area for criminal possessions. Merle had found a few pills while hunting around in that gated off holding room. Daryl had to put his plans on hold till he could get Merle cleaned up once more. The herds surrounding the area weren't being of much help in that area either. Every time he tried circling around back to the prison something new would happen or get in his way.

Daryl was now out in these woods hunting down supper. While Merle was held up in yet another bar, his brother had told him to, "suck it up, baby brother. No point in worrying I told ya I cant go with ya."

The strangest thing though was the quiet of this forest. Sure walkers still lingered and he had already taken out a number of the ones he had ran into. Silence though, silence was all around him. There was no sound from the animal's moving along the forest floor. No song birds where singing. All was calm much to quiet, it was un-natural this silence. Then Daryl came upon a meadow and as he stepped into it looking around his eyes fell upon "her". The sun was setting behind her its setting light was casting a brilliant array of colors around her. The nights wind was beginning to pick up in the air that surrounded them. He could see the goose bumps that broke out along her exposed skin, as she stood there in the middle of nowhere. Her arms where wrapped around hugging herself in an attempt to keep warm. She turned around spotting him, and she gasped, holding her breath.

Carol didn't know if this moment was real. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep beside Rick in his arms, his fingers running through her curling hair and then she woke up, just standing here. She took one hesitant step forward, frightened that the image in front of her would melt away. She had longed for this moment more and more with each passing day. Her heart had been missing this man this silent hunter before her, she had been trying her best to keep moving forward to find someone to love her. But it was a fight a fight that was going on constantly inside of herself. She couldn't help it when her heart started to flutter and the butterflies with in her suddenly took wing dancing with in her. Every fiber of her being was screaming out to her to start moving her feet her brain shouting, _why, are you just standing there, go get him!_

Daryl was sick and tired of these damn fake images that kept showing up everywhere he looked. His heart felt heavy and his shoulders slumped as his hands lost their grip on his bow and they fell to his side. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He'd been seeing her everywhere so often lately that every time he didn't close his eyes the images would be there. They would haunt him, taunting him.

Damnit, Daryl was going to march right over there and tell her to leave him alone he had shit that needed to be getting done while it was fucking daylight out. He didn't have all damn day to play these games with his head. Even if he wanted for this Carol to be real he knew how this was going to end, they always ended the same way. Wanting more and being left feeling empty unwanted.

Carol kept her eyes on him having a hard time believing what was right in front of her. The look of want and desire hiding there with in hooded eyes as he looked upon her now made her feel wanted. He was moving forward coming nearer and as he did those eyes where stripping away every article of clothing from her body as he moved in closer to her. It felt as though Daryl was exposing more of her skin leaving her body to shudder with intense desire. Carol's heart fluttered with in her chest as she admitted to herself that she liked his eyes gazing upon her as they did now. Just like this the intensity in them only for her.

Daryl's warmth was upon her and his silence was a combination of lethal and deadly silent. As his mind was slipping further into the darkness that was the forest that surrounded their entire beings as they moved closer to each other. Soon they stood there toe to toe and Carol's eyes roamed over his body not believing or trusting that he was standing there in front of her. Lifting her right hand up half way to his shoulder and seeing him shudder had her dropping it once more to her side. Carol stepped closer forcing his legs to part as she stepped in between them.

Daryl moved his head in closer to her neck and inhaled deeply. A move that was so unlike Daryl that it made Carol's heart whisper_, if this is a dream, please don't wake me up. _

The scent that was all Carol clung to her skin. Daryl wasn't sure if it was the scent from a perfume or soap but he had to move closer, breath more of her in. Gods how he had missed this woman's scent being around him engulfing him calling him to her closer he was falling deeper. He wanted her closer to him for such a long time now that he had nearly forgotten the very scent and warmth of her skin. "Swear I don't know if the days are as slow and fucked up as they seem. But when I close my eyes I want only to stay. Where the farthest ya are is a heartbeat away." Daryl's heart beat was drumming away in his chest. He had always been a man of action and little words and here he was saying everything he wanted her to hear.

Moving closer to Carol taking strength in the fact that she hasn't yet pushed him away for leaving her for moving closer, he tugs her into his arms as he slowly moves with her backwards, Daryl's eyes never leaving hers till his back hits a tree. He switches their positions moving her up against the rough back of that tree his arms leaving her to prop his hands up spread out caging her in the safety of his arms. Now that he has her he doesn't want her to get away, he doesn't want to lose her, even if in reality he already has. Daryl's eyes leave her as he brings his noise down to her shoulder breathing in deeply, he kisses her there where he longs to mark her.

Daryl's lips trail upwards till they met with her ear, where he took the small rounded lobe into his mouth sucking upon it gently. Daryl felt carol's body trembling as she pulled in mouthfuls of air her hands trailing up and down his back floating over some of his scars while stopping to trace others. "When I close my eyes the miles between us melt away woman. Like yer here in my arms." He manages to get out before her lips come down on his mouth.

"I'll take care of her Daryl; you only know now that you love her. It took you letting her go to figure that out" coming out of the shadows from behind the tree they were up against hidden by darkness stood Rick...

Every muscle inside the hunter's body tightened and vibrated calling for action. Stiffening, begging him to react to Rick's words but he couldn't he was frozen. What in the hell was this shit? "Don't worry Daryl; I'll take care of them all." The governors voice rang out as he came walking across the way from the other side of the meadow.

There was an image in the center of the meadow. Where once only tall grass had stood was now an image of the prison yard with Rick standing there with Carol tucked into the safety of "His" arms. The image before him was tarring away at his heart. As he watched the image of Carol lean up to kiss Rick's chin, her lips never making it... as a gunshot could be heard ringing throughout the air the governor stood there his weapon was smoking still pointed at where Carol once stood standing.

Carol was lying there backwards in Rick's arms, blood running out of her back and her chest where a bullet had lodged itself close to her heart. Her complexion was growing pale as Rick picked her up and cradled her close. She was losing to much blood much to quickly. Daryl watched on in horror as rivers of red ran down Rick's arms to pool on the ground at his feet. Carol's eyes where growing dimmer her life drifting away as Daryl fought with himself refusing to believe what he was seeing screaming out in his head, _this shit aint real, no way can it be fucken' real. _

Daryl swung his head away from the scene in the center of the meadow it was tarring him apart and he just about fell to his knees when he heard the woman he craved for in front of him begin to speak. "You shouldn't have left me; can you see what you have done to me?" Carol asked as her arms wrapped around his waist and she leaned into him her head finding his chest seeking out comfort.

"My spirit can only be broken so many times. When you left the prison, left the group our family behind Daryl," Carol's head came up off of his chest her eyes seeking his. Her hands traveled up over his body to come to a stop and rest upon his face, "You left me, you shattered the part of my heart that belonged only to you. I told you that day in the barn… I couldn't lose you to." Carol kissed him, her lips slanting over his her tongue demanding entrance. She poured all of her wanting and longing and love for him into this one last kiss. If this was the only way she could have him, here in this dream then she was done holding back. Carol gave all of herself over to him in that one kiss. All of her heart might long for this man here in front of her but he left her he didn't want her. She kept telling herself that as his arms circled around her waist and he pulled her into him closer.

Their bodies moving closer, coming together, molding, entwining as they fell as one to kneel together in the tall grass, "I love ya woman." Daryl pulled away looking into her eyes when he felt her body start slipping away. His hands grasping out for her going right through her and he watched as Carol leaned into him closer her lips moving up to his ear. "Then prove it to me, Daryl." He heard her voice whisper as her image melted away leaving him there on the forest floor. Daryl's head sank down touching the ground his shoulders slumping as he fought back the emotions that where beating at him to be let out. He dug his hands into the earth his nails digging deeply into the earth. Pain was racking his body; as he flung his head back looking up at the stars in the sky he opened his mouth and released a howl of pain, pain from losing his mate.

Tears where streaming down Carol's cheeks as she awoken, she was once again lost left on her own. Rick had left her lying there out in the field. Why had he left her just lying there? Why didn't he awaken her? Her mind couldn't help but to wonder.

Carol wiped the tears from her face. How many tears would she have to shed before this ache within her heart would finally fade away and leave her in peace? While she laid there looking up at the stars above her Carol couldn't help but long for the silence in that dream and wonder if her heart was starting to move on and if the dream was just her minds way of letting Daryl go. As Carol realized the hour she moved to stand up. She had been resting upon the blanket much too long and there were still chores to be done and unanswered questions to ask. As she started the trek back into the prison her ears picked up a sound that had her heart crying out in longing for off in the distance a wolf howled.

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If you would like to please review me. Things are going to start moving a lot faster after this chapter. I figure its been long enough for the broken hearted and its time to get the fun started. oxox


	6. Chapter 6 One night only

**Thank you to the ladies that continue to read and review! It really does brighten a writers day when they open their mail box and find reviews waiting to be read. Robin honey this one's for you. This story is Rated M for a reason... if you don't like reading about two hearts joining don't read. Hope you all are staying safe and warm out there.**

**********DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not lost forever**

**One night only**

"Why did Rick leave me?" It had taken a little over ten minutes of wondering the cell block to realize that Rick wasn't in there before Carol had made her way back outside. The weather had taken on a major change while she had been passed out in the prison yard. Remnants of her dream still lingered upon her mind. Daryl's scent still clung to her skin, his taste still upon her lips as she swept her tongue out to wet her suddenly dry lips. Heart feeling broken and torn Carol stepped outside into the yard. The air was now humid and dark clouds where overhead moving in. The heat in the air was heavy and with every breath that she took in to her lungs, Carol felt as though she was sinking. Sinking down further into the ground more now than she did when she had awakened alone. On her way across the yard she ran into Beth heading back toward the prison. The look upon Beth's face when she met up with Carol half way was not very pleasant, if looks could kill Carol would be deep in the ground.

"You know, it's not fare what you're doing to him. Daryl left us all he left you. You need to let him go and if you can't than you need to let Rick know. He's already lost Lori; he can't handle loosing anyone left in this family." Beth didn't even stop to give her a chance to speak. To ask the girl what had she done to deserve such anger? Beth had kept on walking a scrawl on her face as though she didn't have a moment to stop and speak with her.

Carol gave a shake of her head "_what in the world was that all about"_ she kept asking herself. She came upon the guard towers stairs and looked up. The light they kept on the table was on and other then that no shadows where moving along the four walls. She tipped her head back as lightning was shooting through the sky the clouds held a promise of rain soon to be delivered. She brought her head back down focusing on the steps in front of her. _Why did he leave her? Had she done something wrong? Did she say something while fast asleep. _

Carol had always known she was a sleep talker, she'd been doing it for as long as she could used to get her in trouble with Ed and now the only time she did it was when she was completely dead to the world around her. She started up the stairs one foot being placed in front of the other. She wasn't sure what awaited her once she made it up there but she knew no matter what it was it couldn't be as bad as her past once was. Dreading what she had said, might she might have done in her sleep Carol had to stop and breath deep. Coming upon the door she knocked lightly before she entered. It was her shift after all and this is where she belonged at this time of the night. So she wasn't too worried about walking in on Maggie and Glenn the two of them where known to use the watch tower for more than just watching. The thought of the two lovers deeply in love brought a smile to her face,_ oh to be young and so in love again, that would be a dream_.

Entering into the room at the top of the tower Carol's eyes took a moment to adjust to the light from the lamp. Blinking rapidly for just a moment as her eyes circled the room they came to land upon Rick. He was sitting there propped up in a corner. He had a fresh shirt on and by the looks of things he had taken a shower washed off the dirt and the grime of the day. One of his legs where straight out in front of him. His left arm was resting there at his side. Right leg was drawn up to his chest and his arm was resting on it. His head was propped up on his palm. His eyes had yet to look up. He had yet to acknowledge her presence.

Carol was hesitant to approach him, she didn't wish to startle him so she did what came natural to her and she started humming as her feet started gliding right across the flood. She slowly moved hesitantly one foot sliding in front of the other till she came to his side and sat down beside him. Rick finally acknowledged her when she sat down beside him. He stared at her. Only stared. And for a moment she was worried that he was looking right through her seeing Lori and his other demons again. Fear was gnawing away at her stomach, but then his eyes dilated and focused on her. Pleasure bloomed like a rose in her heart opening its petals as he moved his body angling his inward towards hers. His hand rose up a static current traced line of her jaw trailing down to her neck and then she watched with half hooded eyes as he pulled his hand back to his side. Her eyes traveled up meeting his and his face was set in the calmest expression she had ever witnessed there yet. "Where did you go before I woke up? What was so important you had to leave me without waking me up?" For a moment she just watched him sit there she didn't think he would answer her and she sighed.

Rick finally took a deep breath, air filling his lungs his eyes once a deep blue where now the color of a clear blue sky. Forcing a grin onto his face, his emotions where in turmoil, but he didn't want to show that pain to Carol. So he sat there and smiled.

Rick knew what it felt like to lose someone that was close to his heart. He had been married to Lori for over thirteen years after all. Losing her was still hard on his heart and on his mind. Though being with this woman beside him pushed the pain away more each and every day…but when he had been lying there with her there in his arms she had started calling out "his" name. He felt raw, as though Lori had returned and became a part of the walking dead and greeted him by tearing out his heart leaving the nerves all exposed. Part of him wanted to rail and tare things apart with his hands while he shouted out how unfair this life had become. But the other part of him only felt shame, shameful for understanding just how she felt and judging her before she could explain why she was still shouting out the other mans name in her sleep. Rick knew that during nightmares he had of Lori he could be found shouting out her name so why would Carol calling for Daryl be so much worse. Why would it open his own heart up to the fact that he to couldn't yet part with the woman he had once loved.

Before Rick could make the words he wanted to tell her leave his mouth Carol opened hers. "I think you're thinking too hard, Rick." She moved in to his warmth allowing it to seep deep within her skin. The dream she had of Daryl had left her feeling empty. Had left her heart wanting more, and she was tired of waiting. Carol wasn't going to wait anymore.

"We don't have to talk, you don't have to stay. Maybe I love you, maybe I'm just a fool but I'm tired of waiting. I guess this here between us is just what it is till it isn't, anymore." Carol's body was shaking from the adrenalin racing throughout her blood veins demanding she take action. She had never been this brave before and she was tired of waiting for the men that were supposed to be a part of her life to take that first step, so she was going to grab the bull by the horns and make the first move. She moved closer to Rick climbing onto her knees to kneel there beside him.

"We've tried moving on but the truth is, we never will. We will always care for the people who left us." Carol took a deep breath and climbed onto his lap. His right leg straightening out as his arms went around her to help support her. As Carol placed her hands upon his chest, her legs encircling around to his back her head tilted downwards to avoid making contact. She had to gather her strength she needed to make this message clear to him. She new he wasn't in love with her and that was okay, as long as there was some form of love there between them. Sitting under the awful fluorescent lighting that was bouncing off of the walls brightening the room spilling around her like a halo Carol hummed. Humming was soothing a sound she had come to find out calmed both of their inner demons.

Rick finally lifted his head and took in the form of the woman upon his lap. Her head was dipped down as though the weight of the world was upon her shoulders and the burden of having to carry it weighed heavily upon her. He wanted to entwine his fingers into the soft curling hairs at the base of her neck and bring her closer into his warmth. To bury his nose in to the crook of her neck and inhale her scent deeply into his lungs. She looked so young and innocent while sitting there in his lap. Yet he felt so guilty for getting angry at her for calling out "his" name. Though in honesty, he had no right leaving her the way that he had. She didn't deserve to be left out where the dangers of their world could have gotten to her. "You said his name." His voice came out all gritty, an attempt to hide his emotions..

"You have said Lori's."

"That's different; I was _married _to her…for along time."

"We are who we are Rick because they were with us even if it was for just a short amount of time. But even if they were with us for a short while they helped to make us who we are, you can't ask me to forget about them no more then you are able to do the same. We're so much alike that it isn't a good thing, but we're too dumb to give up and too stubborn to change Rick."

Rick untangled his clasped hands from around her waist and brought his right hand up to Carol's face grasping her chin in his hand he angled her head up. Whenever he was around this woman the guilt and the anger bled out of him. His hate would seep out through the pores in his skin to settle upon the floor around them to leave him with nothing but peace and wanting. "I wish, you would call out my name the way you were calling out his. I want to touch you the way your body longs to be touched, to be loved." The words came forth without any control they spilled from his lips and he wished he could take them all back when she didn't react.

Rick closed his eyes leaning his head down in despair as his hand slipped away from her chin. He was confused, he shouldn't want this as much as he did. After all this was exactly how Lori had acted… moving on much to quick. But that part of their marriage had been long over and she was now gone and he knew it for a fact. He had dug the grave for her with his own two hands before he had placed her into that cold unforgiving ground. "The first time I saw you, I thought "there's a man with honor," why can't I be allowed to have a man like that? Why can't I be allowed to feel what other woman have felt? Can you feel me here with you now?" Her words came out no louder than a whisper and if he hadn't been paying close attention to every rise and fall of her chest, of her every breath that she took into her body then he would have missed them. The center of his chest flared to life when he heard her whispered words. They sunk deeply within him down into his heart… maybe he had a chance here after all. It was better to love, then be loved not at all.

Rick leaned forward into her warmth pulling her closer his noise traveling from her shoulder up to her neck. Carol smelled of the earth after a rain storm, new life and of the sun itself. His lips rested there for a moment, he had to taste her. His tongue sliding out between his lips to take a taste of her skin, Carol's eyes where closed and her lips where slightly parted as he pulled back to see her reaction. If he was a good man a man of honor, Rick would pull away now let her go because he could not fully place his heart into her hands. But he wasn't. He was greedy he wanted the woman in front of him needed her to help him chaise the memory of Lori out of his mind and to remove her feel from his skin.

"You want my love, my devotion, right on the line but you have to lay yours out here to. I have no doubt that I could love you, forever. The only trouble is, you really don't have the time." There was such hope and longing in the sound of her voice such strength in this one wisp of a woman, that as he watched her open her eyes, he pulled her closer into him so that they where chest to chest and he did it. He leaned in holding her close, his lips slanted across hers, the rough hair on his chin bruising her delicate skin as he brought his legs in and made to stand up. Lifting Carol he maneuvered climbing to his feet, her arms holding onto him tight. Rick stood there for a moment just relishing the warmth of the woman he held safe in his arms. "It's all of the time that we have; I care for you Carol love you even. But my heart and my soul still belong to Lori. Just like you belong to another man who may never come back, we can love each other, hold each other close. Learn to love again it'll take us time to get there but there's nothing in our way, nothing stopping us, just our hearts."

_In the morning this feeling would be gone_. It has no chance to live while Lori still lingered on grasping his heart in her clenched hands. While she was able to chaise his demons from his mind, she wasn't the one that still had a grasp on his heart. There wasn't a way he could just let Lori go and love Carol like she deserved to be loved, he understood that now as he stood there holding her he wished it wasn't so. Carol's heart longed for another, and Rick knew he'd never be able to fill that spot left behind. when Daryl had walked away from them all, he had taken her with him. But he could give her this one night. A night where two spirits could mold around each other to mend each other's broken pieces.

Rick had decided that if there was ever going to be a time or a woman that could help him push Lori out of his head tonight would be it and it would always be carol. Tonight he would love the woman in his arms. He'd help her to heal the parts of her that had been torn apart by the cruel deceased husband of hers. He'd make sure she felt wanted and loved. Taking a step forward Rick walked across the room still kissing her slowly. Allowing his mind and body to sink into this minute, this hour this one night, Carol would be his and he would be hers. He carried her till the back of his hands brushed across the surface of the table. Setting her down on that table where they usual had tea, he took a step back. His hands resting on either side of her body, palms flat on the table caging her in.

Carol's lips where plump, slightly swollen from his kiss. The delicate skin upon her chin was red but she wasn't complaining her eyes kept asking for more. The light was coming from behind Carol, surrounding her form. She was an angel, without any wings and with no halo in sight. The flicker and buzz of the fluorescent lighting suddenly dimmed as he watched her turn her upper body around and turned the switch on the oil lamp down. Leaving them in near darkness, but the light of the moon was still coming through the window and that was all of the light he needed to see the desire there in her eyes when she turned back around.

Carol's eyes where at half-mast as she watched Rick's thumb caress her knuckles. She felt the light zapping of fire as his warmth settled into her skin warming her deep down to her bones. She felt her heart starting to pound; her blood was growing hot as her body fired in response to his touch. Bringing her head up meeting his eyes they locked on to his. Blue open sky crashing into the blue waves of an ocean stared back. Their gazes met and the room went still the only sound that could be heard in their ears, were the sound of their heavy labored breathing and the sound of the storm starting outside.

She smiled leaning forward her lips searching seeking for his. Her hands traveling up those arms that encased her, to rest at his shoulders, foreheads touching Carol slipped her hands down to the first button on Ricks shirt. Working the buttons through the whole with trembling fingers Carol worked her way down the line on his shirt and when she came to the end she spread her finger tips on the flat of his stomach gliding them up words over his abs. Farther traveling north moving up to his chest where her right hand stopped to rest over his heart. Leaning down she made a trail of open mouth kisses over the rocky ridge of his shoulders. Standing up pushing Rick back Carol traveled around him coming to a stop at his back where she slipped his button down shirt slowly off his arms and off both of his hands. Kissing a line down the valley of his spine every bit of skin that became exposed to her eyes as she moved the shirt down was praised by her lips.

Rick's eyes followed her hands as she explored him. It had just been that after noon since last she had touched him and yet the feeling was still brand new to him. While he wasn't in love with this woman he did love her. He'd give her this night, a night filled with love instead of just longing. He'd commit this moment in time to his memory something to hold on to, that was loven and healing in a world torn by madness and killing. He watched her as she circled around him, felt her lips there on him and watched her move back to the front of him her hands gliding over his skin. They both stilled neither one moving a muscle, like two predators in spring she was ready to run and he was ready to give chaise. To claim his rights as an alpha, he moved toward her one of his hands circling around her hips the other one gliding against the curls in her hair as he pulled her heat closer as they both sank to the ground. Rick cocked his head to the side as he captured her mouth.

Carol was lost in the sensations that where developing inside of her. Rick's hand was leaving a hot blazing trail against her skin traveling up from her hip to rest upon her right breast. Where he pulled her tank top to the side and circled her breast where the perimeter of her areola lay. Teasingly circling around the fast growing hard peak but never giving into the touch she did seek. She felt him pulling his upper body away as she realized that at some point the fingers that had been running throughout her hair had swept their way down to the bottom of her shirt. Carol sat up and allowed Rick to rid her body of the offending article of clothing. While Rick moved back to sit on his hunches Carol watched as he tossed her shirt away to land on top of the table and before she could blink he was tugging at the button on her cargo pants asking for entrance.

Carol nodded her head and watched as he quickly rid both of them of all articles of clothing and moved to lie down once more on top of her. She felt the stinging heat of his body, he was so much bigger longer and stronger than she had ever known. As he moved to lay between her legs one of his hands moved up to rest on her breast. His heat settled in between her legs and fear was clawing its way out of her gut. She had never lain with a man besides Ed and Rick had looked and felt oh so much larger then him. She gulped as Rick's hands continue their exploration, his lips encircling around one of her hard nipples. All worries left her as his teeth grazed against that sensitive skin. Her eyes followed him as her nails scraped up and down his back. She was waiting for him to notice her scars. To say something about them, to be disgusted with her, but then she felt him release her now hard stinging nipple from his teeth only to blow over her skin as he took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "You're beautiful Carol, outside as well as in." The words left his lips and she melted her worries slipping away to be examined sometime later.

Carol could feel his lips traveling down her body coming to rest at the junction between her hips. She lifted up onto her elbows and watched as he slid his tongue up through her lips coming to a stop at the hard nub of nerves.

Rick looking up at her as he licked his lips, eyes gazing in to hers he moved forward and took the nub between his lips scraping the top of her with his firm tongue. He worked her up sliding a finger in between her lips and into her entrance. Where he could feel her walls already clenching, he pulled away as a whimper left her lips. A whimper of wanting, a cry for something more, her eyes where clouded in lust and want as he slid his body along hers. The hard length of his shaft was seeking entrance into her warm body, asking permission with every thrust of his hips.

Carol nodded her head as his lips descended upon her once more. Accepting his tongue into her mouth they started a war and carol gave in when she felt the head of his shaft swelling between them. She started a slow teasing rhythm as her hands ghosted down his back one of them coming to rest on his hip while the other hand was more daring and grabbed gently, firmly on to his shaft. As Carol took him into her hand she pulled away from rick's lips the taste of herself lingering in her mouth as she looked up at him and gave him a look full of wonder.

Rick was kissing Carol enjoying the warmth of the woman beneath him and as he pulled away a moan on the tip of his tongue along with her taste before he could release it Carol flipped them over. Where she once was below, she now was above. Rick moaned the sound of it rough and full of gravel. He watched her from hooded eyes as she moved her hips backwards and with the use of her hand glided him in into her warmth.

They both moaned and shuddered calling out each others names.

The sounds of their cries mingled as she started moving her hips upon him starting in a slow glide their sounds of mingled pleasure filled the room. The sound of the thunder outside was being drowned out of their minds as Rick slid his hands up to her hips helping Carol find a rhythm that would calm the ache in their bodies. No words were spoken for no words where needed. They were two bodies' two spirits seeking comfort. While the storm was raging outside and in both of their hearts, their bodies sought and fought for release. As she felt the singeing heat of his body, growing, deeper longer and stronger, she felt him grow thicker and longer in length. She felt his one hand still shaping her breast, as his other hand came to tug at her neck pulling her down for their lips to meet once again. Unbidden Carol's tongue came out to wet her suddenly dry lips before granting his wish. While they were loss in the kiss Rick pushed up with his hips and worked their bodies till he was able to flip them over. After a time, he broke the contact and gazed down at her, breathing heavy his brow nearly touching hers. Eyes gazing locking as he worked their bodies into a frenzy of need, a need for release, a need to be fulfilled.

Carol shook her head back and forth as he swept her leg up into one of his hands and positioned it over his shoulder opening her body up as he bent forward his hand slipping between their bodies seeking her hard nub to play with in between his fingers. Carol's hands found Rick's back sliding down the strength the muscles she found there coming to rest at his hips pulling him closer demanding a faster rhythm her time for dancing amongst the stars was coming closer. Ricks hips started pumping in a faster out of breath pace she was having a hard time trying to keep up as he thrust-ed in long hard strokes into Carol's hips her head was flung back exposing her neck. Her body crying out in want of release. Rick's thrusts where lifting her hips high off of the floor. Right as thunder crashed through the sky Rick felt Carol's body tighten around him, her walls squeezing down milking his own orgasm from him. Engulfed in rising flames Carol joined in Ricks moans and cries of satisfaction as his head tipped back to rest on his shoulders. Rick gave a shake of his head. Body satisfied heart feeling lighter he slipped from her body to lay down beside her where he pulled carol into his arms and held her till their breaths evened out. Only then did they turn to face each other.

Tears where in carol's eyes, but a smile was on her face and Rick pulled her head down into his chest. The woman in front of him had been so tortured. A caring gentle hand she knew not and he was so so glad his body had recalled the damage done to her and had taken it easy with her when his mind had been swept away. Rick laid there with Carol in his arms as she silently wept, the emotions rolling off of her where ones that spoke of safety, love, warmth, and regret. Gods how he hoped it wasn't this act she regretted. Rick pulled her close cradling her smaller body into his warmth. They had moved close enough at some point to their clothes and he grabbed up his shirt with the hand not holding her close and kissed her fore head. "Carol, honey here let's get you dressed." His voice sounded rough to his own ears, knowing he too was holding back tears. How could any man cause such a gentle woman such pain. If Ed wasn't dead already rick would surely put him into his grave. He moved with her to sit up and helped her slip her arms into his shirt while he worked to close the buttons she did her best to get her emotions under control.

Rick stood up grabbing his pants and as he slid his legs into them he heard her speak up. "Thank you, for showing me all that I have been missing in life." she whispered her head was tipped back looking out the window a tear slipped down her face as she sat there. Wishing on stars he came to her sinking down to the floor taking her back into his warmth. "Your a good woman carol, don't you dare ever believe that your not. Glenn and Maggie are in the other watch tower tonight. I'll hold you here, won't leave your side." He bent his head forward kissing her neck. His heart was content as he held her looking up at the stars he found one gliding across the night sky. Rick hoped and he prayed with everything in him that Carol would one day get her wish.

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Breath... that was fun please don't kill me... review me.. oxox


	7. Chapter 7 Moving Forward

**Evening Morning Afternoon Ladies whatever time it may be for you I hope you are well. I thank you for your reviews and the time you take out of your days to read this story. I am thrilled and I thank you for stopping by and giving me a chance. If you happen to be free on Wednesday you should stop by the FansofCaryl website ladies come and pick my brain ask me any questions you might have, I'd love to answer them for you. Even if you don't have any questions for me feel free to stop on by for a chat. oxox**

**********DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Not Lost Forever**

**Moving Forward**

When mornings light raised high into the sky the suns bright colors of purple pink and orange were chasing away the dark of the night. Awaking from her sleep, Carol found that she was still in the arms of Rick. It had been over half a month since that night in the watch tower and since then she had always awakened lying there next to Rick. Safe in his arms she would sleep, where his presence kept the nightmares at bay. He was still behind her, holding on fast to her deep in his sleep. Carol's eyes gazed upon Rick, taking in the way every line on his face was smoothed out. How the lines of worry where erased for the time being while he was lost to the throws of his dreams. His hair had grown a little bit lighter from spending his days out in the sun. Grey was peppered throughout the hairs on his chin. Rick's lips where turned up in a half smile his dreams for the moment being seemed to be pleasant. Where as before they had started sharing a bunk Rick could be found tossing and turning all night, screaming out Lori's name. She was pleased to know that she was able to calm the beast that lived inside of his head. "I'm sorry Lori was so evil. I'm sorry that your wife would hurt you in so many different forms." Carol hesitant, raised her hand to his face, the hairs on his cheek brushing the palms of that hand as she slid her fingers upward moving the long brown strands of hair out of his face. Carol's hand stopped its journey traveling over Ricks skin coming to rest upon his neck behind his head. Carol's fingers curled around the long hair there at the nape of his neck. "I am not her though, I never will be."

Rick was between realms neither awake nor asleep and heard every word her sweet voice had spoken. His arms around her tightened, bringing her chest back up close to his own, and as he did he felt the static from her skin ripple on his. Opening his eyes he met hers. They stared at each other, simply stared neither one moving or saying a word. Meanings and words not yet spoken are passing between their locked blue eyes. "I wish I could touch the parts of you that belong only to him."

"I'm no prize Rick, I belong to myself, no one has the right to lay claim to me." Carol smiled her body inching closer into his warmth. Winter was quickly moving forward it was well on its way. The mornings inside the cold grey cement walls of the prison had long since grown colder. Gone were the days of electrical heat. Now they had wood burning stoves they had been lucky to have found on one of the runs to a local hardwood store.

Rick held Carol close. His chin was resting on the top of her head. Breathing in her scent deeply into his lungs letting the lavender and water lily scent chaise the rotting stench of flesh from his demons away, he had been keeping at bay. She made him forget. Forget that there was no good left inside him, that he should just turn away and leave this prison that has brought on so much pain and hate. He should leave Carol he knew she could do better than him he should leave now and leave her here alone, but he couldn't. He was dependent upon her presence in his life now.

Judith cried out.

Carol smiled tipping her head up to kiss Rick on his bristled chin. As she moved to sit up the covers falling around her hips as Ricks eyes take in the view. Her eyes are shinning a brilliant blue that would put the deepest depths of the ocean to shame. The smile on her lips has her dimples playing peek-a-boo. Rick lifts his hand and sweeps it up to hold the back of her neck pulling her close. He places a kiss upon those red lips of hers before pulling back his fore head meeting hers as he gazes into her eyes. His voice comes out all gravel and grit not yet fully awake and not ready to leave the bed though there are chores to be done. "I've got her this morning. It's your shift for breakfast this morning isn't it? I'll meet you out in the dining area."

"Alright, I'll see you two when you come out." Carol gives him a quick kiss as she moves her legs to the edge of the bed sitting all the way up she stretches and leans down to pull on her shoes. There's no need to get dressed what with the cold of winter settling in she has taken to wearing yoga pants and one of Rick's shirts to bed.

Standing up stretching Carol makes the short distance across the cell to where Judith is resting. She bends at the waist and looks in on the babe coming to find the little girl wide awake and sucking on her fist. She smiles down at the little girl as she reaches in wrapping the blankets around her as she lifts her up and out of her pack and play. "Well hello there beautiful little miss. Let's get you over to your daddy." Lifting the babe up and securing the blankets around the bundle in her hands, Carol smiles up at Judith. Kissing the babe on the head she wraps her in the warmth of her arms as she taking the few steps that are needed to arrive back at Rick's side.

"Here's your daddy baby girl." Carol bends forward passing Judith over to Rick and kissing them both on the cheek before she stands back up, turning Carol leaves the warmth of the cell for the cold of the open kitchen-gathering area where she is due to prepare the morning meal.

Walking into the small area they used as a kitchen Carol got to work stoking the fire back to life and wiping down her counter space. Putting a pot of water onto boil knowing most of the prisons residence would be in need of something warm to help them wake up. She made her way over to the pantry and looked through their supplies after finding the necessary ingredients for making bread Carol got started on making a few loafs. After mixing the ingredients all together and setting it on top of one of the wood fire stoves along with a pot of water to boil for some oatmeal she took up a pad of paper and pencil and started to prepare a list for a run that was planned right after breakfast was done.

Judith was growing quickly and was once again in need of more clothes. All in the group could use a few sets of winter clothing as well. Cleaning supplies and possibly some heavy wool blankets to cover their cell doors were also a must. Carol wanted to get the cells they were using as pantries as fully stocked as they could manage before the cold winter frost settled in making traveling dangerous out on the roads. They already had to beat back the herds of walkers to move long ago dead vehicles off of the roads; it wouldn't be safe to have to deal with frost as well. Even if this state wasn't known for getting much snow she would rather they all are prepared then sorry. As she was busily writing and looking things over people were starting to trickle in to the room seeking warmth.

Carol placed the note pad down on the make shift counter and went to check on the pot and the bread on top of the stove. Carol sighed, as she busied her hands with her work. She wished they could have some form of fresh meat to go along with their supper it had been some time since meat had been provided, Gods she missed Daryl. She would be talking to Rick right after breakfast about heading out on a run and sending a few others out into the woods to see if they had any luck at hunting. The thought of fresh meat lifted her spirits and she began to hum as she kept her mind and hands busy.

The hours where later in the day when Carol was able to once again sit and think for a while. Michonne and Tyreese had agreed upon heading out into the woods to go hunting. Hopefully with a little bit of luck and if Lady Fate was on their side they would be able to find some much needed meat or maybe a good place to fish. Glenn and Maggie had agreed to stay back and hold the fort down until the groups had all gotten back. It was agreed upon that Carl would go on this trip with them and surprisingly Beth. The girl had been surprisingly quiet since she had spoken last to Carol out in the court yard of the prison. Preferring to spend most of her time with Judith or out by the gates learning how to take out the walkers. Rick had deemed Carl and Beth ready after he had taken them through the tombs with Glenn's and Michonne's help. Teaching them the ins and outs of the weapons they carried with them now.

The humming of the trucks engine was a comforting buzz in Carol's ears. As she sat beside Rick her head resting on her arm pressed up against the glass on the passenger side door. Her legs where curled up beside her on the seat, an old familiar song was playing through the speakers as they were speaking down he empty back roads. She was fighting off sleep it was hard to stay awake when the cab of the truck was kept warm by the heater. Her eyes where drifting shut as the trucks journey down the open road was lulling her to sleep Carol became lost with in her dreams.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

The ground underneath her feet was soft; her feet sinking into the warmth of the earth. Looking down at the earth surround her feet she came to find that there were no shoes upon her feet. Carol's toes where being tickled by the long green blades of grass that swept under her feet as she turned in a circle observing the lay of the land around her. The air was warm with the scent of flowers in bloom floating on the breeze all around her. Carol took a deep breath filling her lungs with the scents that surrounded her here. Dirt warmed by the sun the minerals rich, the lavender and roses where in bloom. She knew she was dreaming the earth all around her was warm the chill of the on-coming winter had been pushed away from her mind. Gone were the heavy clothes that had draped over her form, now in their place was a summer dress the color of blue that would put the deepest ocean to shame.

Carol lifted her arms into the air her head falling back to smile up at the clear blue sky above her. Not a single cloud was up there, no clouds to darken her day just the warmth of that sun smiling down upon her. Here she felt only the warmth of the sun upon her skin, seeping down into her blood warming her straight down into the morrow of her bones. The birds where singing their love songs to one and another, small forest critters could be heard rushing along the floor of the forest. Carol stood in the middle of a forest. Though she had been here once before in these woods this time it was different. Her daughter's last few hours had been spent here wondering these words. There was a creek running through the area she stood in and her feet where demanding that she follow it. Placing one foot in front of the other she gave into the urge that was calling out to her body. Following the stream downwards she came to a swallowed out area that was surrounded by high cliffs. This is the place she had to have yet visited while lost in her dreams. As Carol moved along the edge of the water she came to a fallen log where she sat down upon it and kicked her feet out into the cool lapping water. It was peaceful here and she supported her body with her arms as she leaned back. Her eyes closed as she soaked up the sun and the sounds of the earth around her. At least being here in her dreams she was able to be in a place where she still felt the presence of her daughter.

Carol was enjoying the calm of the forest until she felt a ghostly set of fingers sweep through her hair. Her eyes opened wide and gazing around searching for any form of danger hoping and praying this wouldn't be some form of a night mare. When she felt a smaller body sat down beside hers on the log. "Hello mama, I see you enjoyed the butterfly I sent you." Her heart jumped at the sound of her daughter's voice as tears sprang into her eyes. She had missed the sound of her child's voice so much so that she wasn't even aware of it until she heard it just now. Carol turned her hand as her child grabbed ahold of her hand. "It's okay mama, I'm all right."

A smile formed upon her face as she turned and met the eyes of her daughter. "I wanted to see you run, anywhere you wanted to. I wanted to see you fly way beyond the sun. Wish that I could have made the road easier for you. I wish that life was fair, how are you baby girl?" Carol asked as she grabbed ahold tightly to Sophia's hand and pulled her up with her from the log to wade into the water.

"I'm fine mama," Sophia laughs and the sound of her laughter rings throughout the air. "Don't you go feeling sorry for me mama, we all have a fate and a destiny in life and soon you'll be able to hold me again." Walking beside her mama she points at their reflection on the surface of the water they are standing in.

"Look mama and see for yourself."

Carol knew she was already dreaming, but when she took her eyes off of her daughter and looked upon the surface of the water, she was able to see the wonder that her body had been hiding from her all along. She lifted a hand covering her mouth, there in the water was a miracle all on its own. She had always been told it wasn't possible not after all of the suffering she had taken at Ed's hand. Never had she imagined the doctors could be wrong and she would end up carrying a child in her once again. For there in the water her image was clear staring right back up at her. Carol's body was swollen and heavy caring a child. A tear slipped through her eyes as the joy and surprised filled her. As the tear slipped down her face she watched as is landed into the water. The water rippled and shimmered and before she knew it an image appeared before her. There were two men one on the left and one on the right, the silent hunter and the sheriff. Both of them where before her with a hand resting on her stomach the image confused Carol as she looked over at Sophia the questions that where filling her mind where on the tip of her tongue when she watched her daughter move closer. "Do you see now mama, I'll be with you once more? I just have to wait a little bit more. Don't you worry about me while I'm not beside you in a physical form, I'm always beside you, you just can't see me."

Before she could respond there was another familiar presence beside her. While this one was taller her daughters was wiser. The woman beside her still had a long way to go before she could be counted as an old soul. "Thank you Carol for looking after my kids. For loving them as though they were your own children. Tell them that I love them. Don't worry about Sophia, that girl of yours can handle her own." Lori's voice sounded as though it was miles away even if the image of her appeared there next to her. Carol pulled her daughter in close to her side wrapping her arms around her as she stared at the other woman, eye to eye. What a strange dream this was. While she had dreamed of her child many times before she had never dreamed of Lori, yet there she was. Standing before her in a pair of faded blue jeans and a white button up shirt was Lori standing in the water beside her. Her hair was shorter and thicker. Carol moved toward along with Sophia hugging her friend close. She had missed these two people the most. "We have to be going now honey, I hope your able to keep that man happy, love him the way he deserves to be loved, the man I wasn't able to because I was to blind to the man hiding with in him even when he was in front of me the whole time." Lori came close pulling Carol into her arms she held out her hand to Sophia, "Come on sweetie you'll be able to come back someday."

Sophia looked up at Carol her eyes meeting the blue starry gaze of her mothers. Throwing her arms around her waist she held her mama close for a moment. "Don't forget mama, I'm always close by and I'll be with you soon."

Carol pulled her close wishing she could feel the warmth of her child's skin against her own but it had been so long since she had last held her. The memory had slipped from her mind but not from her heart. "Love you always baby girl, no matter where ever you are." Carol placed a kiss on her child's head of hair. As she felt her dream slipping away a peace washed over her. A mother's job is never done even when that child has moved on.

Carol was awoken by a hand shaking her shoulder. "Carol honey, come on we're here." Rick's voice was heavy in her ears, she hadn't even been aware that she had fallen asleep. She looked up and over at Rick as wisps from her dream floated through her memory she lifted her shoulders and began to stretch a smile on her face. She nodded her head as she turned towards her window; they were outside a toys-r-us and a bed and bath store. There were possibly many items in there waiting to be claimed and Carol felt as though she could take on the world after that dream. She opened the trucks passenger side door and headed across the street the others there by her side. They had a job to get done and a family to head home to.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Night had long since fallen, the stars where high above their heads with the light of the moon leading the way. It had been days since they had last stopped in a small town. Daryl kept driving Merle forward working the drugs out of his brothers system. Sure he had the joys of Merle's bitchen to listen to while they moved throughout the day but for right now it was quiet. They had managed to find a cave deep in the woods well enough hidden to spend the night in. "Are you maken a wish on them fuckin' stars up there Darylina star gazen again like a lil girl maken a damn wish." Merle came forward out of the cave behind him. He was stumbling around and if his voice hadn't been so hoarse they would have had trouble upon them.

"Shut up Merle, before you bring trouble to our door." Daryl said as he turned in his brother's direction presenting him with a cooked squirrel on a stick. Merle walked over taking the offered food and sat down across from his brother. The nights sure where getting colder and they couldn't afford to make a bigger fire, so he would accept what little bit of warmth he could. While sitting there eating his fast slow cooked food… how he wished it was a nice slab of cow…he watched his brother looking him over.

Daryl had changed a lot in the little amount of time he had been left on his own. Know don't get him wrong they both had gone through changes… Merle looked down at his phantom hand feeling an itch that he never could scratch. But his baby brotha had changed, somethen in him had shifted. He just wasn't quite sure what it was and which way, or how it had all came about. Now his brotha had always been mouthy at least when it came to talken back to his older brother but these last few months had Daryl opening his mouth and saying the most unusual shit he had ever heard pass though his brothers lips. Why if Merle didn't know any better he'd think Daryl was the one taken the hits off of a joint or popping the pills. He'd been spewing words about family and not being left alone in his sleep. Shit Merle didn't know the first thing about handling a family. He didn't have much of one to go off of, A drunken father and a mother who was too busy getting as high as a kite to notice her unlit cigarette as she was falling asleep. Merle wasn't sure about the stories the others had told him filling his head up with lies, his own experience from the last few months was shit. Nightmares he had been trying to push down so deep that the damn things kept finding their way back behind his eye lids every time he closed his damn eyes.

Merle had once been in the military and the shit he had done than was nothing like he had been doing these past few months. But what was he to do when it was a kill or be killed type of a world. Sure he'd taken the life of a few innocent men… but he never touched a woman or kid in cold blood. Even an asshole like him had to draw a line somewhere. Years of watching his daddy beat on his mother drilled a mind field into his head and to spill innocent blood from a child or woman would set off a bomb. A memory he would much rather keep locked away, sealed. It had been bringing up shit from his past things Merle even regretted. Things he would rather keep hidden away and that was the reason why he went looking for a way to numb his mind. To quiet his demons.

Lately though Daryl had been talking in his sleep, a habit he thought he had kicked out of him a long time ago. Apparently the time Daryl had spent apart from him had brought all of the night talking back. Everything he had taught that boy had flown out of his head while he was off trying to survive with one hand. Just thinking about it was making Merle pissed off about thinking about thinking. "Man brother, looks like you've gone native, on my ass while I was half hangen out there fighten for my damn life."

"No more than you were hanging out with that psycho back there." Daryl looked up from his own dinner staring across the fire.

Merle wasn't sure which one would burn him quicker if he were to move any closer, the fire or Daryl. Eyeing his brother up returning his ice cold stare through the fire as he tossed the empty stick into the hunger flames, "Oh, yeah, man. He's a real charmer, I got to tell you that. If you knew only half the shit that crazy sumbitch did to the survivors he found you would have never fuckin' left the prison. It's a good thing your out here cuz some serious shit is gonna go down at that prison."

"Aint shit gonna happen at that damn prison Rick will see to that." Daryl met the blood shot eyes of his brother putting as much truth behind his words as he could. Rick had never done him wrong and even with his ass gone there would be no way he'd keep their people there if trouble was pounding at their gates. There weren't enough people there when he had left the group behind. A mistake he admitted to himself with each passing day. Then again he had seen that big man in the tower the one night he gave in and went back to the prison. "Shit the more I think of it man that prison is sounding better. Had a roof over my head and food to eat, better than this shit we're doing now."

Merle got up from his spot pulling another stick out of the ground another critter upon it. He was shaken his head as he walked by Daryl kicking his brother in the foot with his boot as he did. "Whatever man, enjoy your damn fruity stars I'm heading to bed Darlina wake me when it's my damn shift."

"Yeah fuck you Merle." Daryl growled out as he watched his brother enter the cave. It wasn't much more than a small hole in the ground but hell it was better shelter than none.

Daryl's eyes returned to the sky wondering if the family he left behind was still safe and whole. Hoping that they were better off than he was anyways, being out here in the woods. Little did Merle know they were no more than five miles away from the prison come this time tomorrow they were finally going to get the hell out of the woods and back to the place he belong. He just needed to figure out a way to get Merle in to the prison first without Glenn and Michonne claiming his life. "Damn Merle."

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Wanted to get this chapter out there, sorry if there are grammar errors and if parts of it don't flow all to well. I'm still worken on Merle.. I will be going over this chapter again tomorrow. Review me if you feel like hitting that button. oxox


	8. Chapter 8 Today is Tomorrow

**********Evening Afternoon and Morning to you all. I hope that the weekend is treating everyone well. As always thank you so much for reading and sticking with me through out this story. Love the reviews they really do help to keep the writers mind flowing. I wont keep you all waiting.**

**********DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN.**

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**Today is Tomorrow**

The small group of scavengers had made it up to the toys r us with very little trouble. Finding the doors to be unlocked they all moved inside staying huddled together. Beth and Carl where told to stay in the middle, to not break rank. The kids had been doing well as they made the sweep through the building. It had been decided on that they all would go back to the front and each gathers up two carts and loads them. The sweep had gone well and they had moved on to the first set of shopping carts. The group had decided to start out in the baby food area. While the jars might have been small the number they found to still be upon the shelves would give them enough supplies to work with for over a month of food for the group. Sure it was baby food but at this point food was food and one couldn't be picky in this new world they were living in.

Carol was thankful that they had found the shelves for the most part to be untouched. From the looks of the place no one had bothered to think about this small store, but then again it was a small town they were currently in. The military could have come through at the beginning of the whole mess and cleared all of the people out.

After everyone managed to clear the food off the shelves it was decided upon the best way to pack everything up in the truck was to start hunting down backpacks and bags. On their way to the front they came upon a back to school isle. Loading the many jars and boxes into the bags the group pushed their carts up to the front where it was decided that Rick and Carl would run them out into the parking lot. Taking two full carts and the few bags that wouldn't fit into them the boys put the left over bags on to their backs heading toward the stores doors.

Carol stepped outside taking a good look around their surroundings and at not finding more than one walker she beckoned the guys forward with a lift of her hand. The boys made their way out of the store quickly while the girls stood guard watching their backs. Beth came forward and removed the large tarp that they had in the back of the truck and helped Carol to start unloading the carts. The four of them made quick work of emptying the carts. "We should head over to the bed and bath next to see what can be found hiding in there." Rick said loud enough for the other three to hear.

"Agreed, maybe they will have some form of beds we can use. You did promise the group of possible new beds after all. We need something heavy to cover the windows and cell doors winter is moving in fast after all." Carol commented as she swept a hand over her face while meeting Rick's eyes. Everyone had agreed back at the prison that if the place they now called home was going to remain that way it was time to start making it into a home. It had been decided upon that when Michonne and Tyreese where through with their hunt they would along with Sasha's help start removing the prison bunks in hopes of Rick's group finding suitable beds.

Rick nodded his head at her and the four of them started out for the Bed and Bath that was right next door. Moving up to the window Carol could already see that this store was going to be more of a hassle then the other one had been. There was a small group of walkers in the front of the store and with a shake of her head she looked over at Rick. "What if we try the back? The loading doors maybe there is a way to get in from there that would be less of a hassle?" Carl's voice popped up with the question his dad's eyes landing on him. So far Carl and Beth both had been silent. They had proven so far to listen to directions and as Rick peered down at him Carl stood there meeting his eyes not backing down.

"That a fine idea son, let's go ahead and travel around to the back. Maybe there's a truck back there in the loading bed. We could really use one of them if we decide to come back."

"Why not now?" Beth asked her voice popping up from the center of their group as they started their journey around to the side of the building.

"Well," Rick's voice was calm and collected, "I don't know how to drive a big rig do you?" Turning his head back over one shoulder he met with her eyes. Beth shook her head no lowering her eyes. As they turned the corner of the building they were in luck the coast was no walkers in sight. Right there before them where two trucks. "Well, I guess it's a good thing that I do." Carol was smiling nibbling on her lower lip as three heads turned around and stared at her as though she had just grown another head. "What? Ed had a job driving trucks for the military commissaries. How to you think he got all of them MRE's that we had at the beginning back at the quarry?"

Rick turned back around the dumb founded look no longer on his face as he led the group up to the loading dock where the two trucks where sitting there waiting for them. Going around to the driver's side of the first truck they came to Rick attempted to open the door. Finding it lock and empty inside he hoped down off of the step and moved over to the truck sitting off to the side. This truck was the larger of the two and could easily hold anything they might find inside of the store. Rick once more tried the handle on the door and finding it unlocked pulled it open. Beckoning Carol forward with a nod of his head he stepped up into the truck and helped her climb up and in after him. Being as quiet as they could Carol pointed into the back of the cab. Lifting her hand up fingers spread she started counting down as Rick got ready to pull the curtain off to the side. When Carol counted down to the last finger Rick pulled the curtain aside and all that managed to happen was a blow up doll that fell forward hitting Rick in the face. Carol laughed leaning forward placing a kiss on rick's cheek as he was getting ready to stick a knife from his belt into the doll. Carol shook her head no and pushed it back into the back of the cab. "It can be used later back at the prison for training." Carol laughed as she started backing out of the truck. Rick stopped her with one of his hands traveling up to her neck pulling her close. "You owe me a better kiss after that," he playfully teased his eyes shining with laughter.

Leaning forward he stole her breath away as his lips met hers. Rick was pouring all of his passion behind it as Carol started to return it. Till they heard a clearing of somebody's throat and Rick leaned over Carol to look down at Carl. Ricks face was beat red, "Yes I know you're out there, we're comen." A round of laughter could be heard outside of the truck.

"Perverts," Carol laughed.

"Oh dad come on we didn't want to hear that." For the first time in a while there was a mischiefs smile on his face and Rick's heart grew lighter seeing the light returning to his sons eyes. "Your just jealous boy, you need a girl of your own." Rick teased watching as his boy turned bright red.

"Whatever you say old man," they all could hear Carl say under his breath.

Rick pulled back letting Carol take the driver's seat. They all waited while they held their breath as Carol tried the key that with some luck was still in the ignition. With a twist of her wrist she had the truck purring coming to life. Shutting the truck down Carol jumped out of the truck the keys still in hand. "Come on lets go and see what's waiting for us in the back." Facing toward the kids she moves with them to the back of the truck with Rick bringing up the back. Carol opens the back of the truck and climbs up inside bending over she holds out her hand to Carl and Beth. "Lets take a quick look see what all's back here doesn't look like a whole lot."

Carol and the two teens start moving around pulling out their knives opening up boxes they start going through what little bit is in there. "I've got towels and curtains over here how bout you Beth?" Carl calls out from his side of the truck.

"Reclining rocking chairs the type that mothers use when their rocking their babes to sleep. There are a couple of ottomans and Cribs according to the labels on the boxes as well." Beth calls out from the very front of the truck.

"We have bedding and clothing back here. Along with a few dressers and shelving systems, we best get moving we can leave everything in here I'm sure it can be put to use back at the prison." Carol walked past the two teens leading the way out of the truck.

"We have a good start in there already let's see if we can head in through a backdoor into the bed and bath store see if we can get our hands on anything good." Carol explains to Rick as she jumps out of the truck.

Heading up onto the loading ramp with the kids once more between them Rick leads the way back to the back of the bed and bath store. Coming upon the door he stops and tries the door knob. Finding it lock he sighs and pulls out his gun. Braking the glass with the butt of his gun, Rick pulls out his flash light to take a look around at the inside finding it to be clear he slides his arm in sliding his hand down the length of the door he's able to find the lock above and on the door knob. With a quick twist of his fingers he's able to unlock both of the dead bolts and open the door.

"Stay behind me, we already know there's walkers in here don't break rank and don't do something stupid." Rick's eyes are peering down at the younger two before he looks up and meets the eyes of the woman he is coming to love. "Be careful stick together." Rick turns facing forward and leads the way holding his flash light up high to provide them with some much needed light. When coming to the end of the hall the group enters into what looks like a break room. Finding it to be empty the group quickly looks around and takes note of a fountain machine as well as another one holding snacks. With a promise to come back for it all later the group keeps moving forward down a short hall and out into the open where the light can be seen. The room they have just entered into has shelving after shelving of things they can no longer use. Mixers and dicers are along one set of shelves. They pass these things up as they keep heading toward the entrance of the store where they can hear with their ears the moaning and groaning of walkers reanimating. By now they can smell the blood pumping through the small groups veins. The scent bringing awakening the walkers and driving them forward as Rick turns a corner coming upon them. He holds up his hand. "Five walkers," Rick whispers.

Before he knows it the walkers are moving forward much quicker as though they might have heard him. Rick puts his gun away pulling his knife out once more. "We do this quick and quiet, remember stay in formation Beth protect my back, Carl watch over Carol." Rick steps forward as the walkers come nearer and studies their movement. Taking out the first walker that comes upon them Rick moves to the side," Okay Beth you're up next take the one to the right I've got the one on the left, you can do this we have trained you. Just don't forget to throw your weight behind that knife of yours and you'll do just fine." Beth nods her head and before they all know it she's moving forward with Rick and taking out her first walker and she's already grimacing from the ooze it has left all over her hand. She pulls a bandana out of her pocket now understanding why Daryl always carried one with him and now she can't blame him.

Rick chuckles "All right Carl this next one's for you he's a little bit taller, let us see whatcha got son." Rick watches as Carl leaves Carol's side and Beth heads over to back up carol at the back of their group as the girls stand with their backs to the guys Carl steps forward and gives a tip of his head.

"Looks like all of them where employees once, looks like they all copped out." Carl says before moving forward slamming his shoulder into the taller walker forcing the large man to bend over. Carl manages to miss the walker's hands as they come out right in front of him and he slams his knife into home base right at the base of his skull.

"Good job Carl here comes another one heads up son." Right as Carl is straightening up he hears the moans coming from right ahead of him. Jogging forward with his dad and the girls' right behind him he jumps into the air and manages to catch the woman right in her eye. As he comes down landing right on his feet he turns around to meet the eyes of his dad but as he does he sees a walker right behind Carol pulling her down to the ground. "Carol," Carl yells.

One minute Carol is running with the rest of the group to meet back up with Carl and before she knows it she's laid out flat on the floor with a walker over her. Having the breath knocked out of her lungs as she hits the floor hard her head bounces off of that floor and her vision is growing black around the edges with stars. She isn't quiet sure what has just happened but she knows she isn't ready to give up on this life. Pushing her upper body off of the ground as she turns around Carol comes face to face with a male walker. Slamming her elbow into his head she manages to knock him off balance and off of her body right as Rick finally makes it to her side and buries his knife deep into the walker's eye. Carol's first reaction is to start looking around her forcing her eyes to focus as she searches for Beth. The girl was supposed to have her back and Carol is now filled with worry and dread that something has happened to her. As she turns her body around looking behind her Beth is standing there just staring at her.

Carol watches with unclear eyes as Rick stocks up to her holding out his hand. "Carol sweetheart, are you alright?" He manages to ask around the lump in his throat. _No not again I can't lose you now to_, keeps floating around in his head and the only image he keeps on seeing is Carol being taken down to the ground. As Carol takes his offered hand he pulls her up off of the ground and tucks her into his side. "Where were you?" Rick growls out looking over at Beth.

"Rick I'm okay, I'm alright just a little soar it's no big deal I'm here I'm whole it's alright." Carol manages to get out as Rick starts walking forward with Carol still tucked into his side. Her vision is finally clearing and the feeling of being dazed is washing away.

Rick stops in front of the teens his face set in stone. "It's not alright she shouldn't have left your side. When given an order it's for the safety of the whole of the group. They have to be followed, this won't happen again are we clear on this Beth?" By the end of his sentence Rick's eyes are bearing down on Beth and her whole body is trembling as she covers her mouth and shakes her head. A tear slipping from her eye traveling down the girls face as she nods her head. "Good lets gather what we need and head out. Carl you're in the truck with Carol when we head out. Stay close I don't want any more accidents happening."

The group finished up quickly and they managed to not encounter any more walkers. Carol's head was much better after finding some Aleve in the check-out stands at the front of the store. Besides the miss hap with the walker the rest of the trip went smoothly that where even able to pack a few display beds away in the back of the truck. With the promise of coming back anther day the group pulled out and headed back toward the prison. Where carol helped unload the truck and then got to work on a stew for an evening meal. She was rather glad with the way things had turned out even Tyreese and Michonne had a bit of luck on their side they had managed to come back from a hunt with a rather large buck.

When Carol crawled into bed that night she was rather glad to be sleeping in her own cell in a rather comfortable bed Tyreese had moved in for her. Usually she would be sharing with Rick but with the day's events he had told her earlier after supper that he needed a bit of space. She could understand that everyone needed their own space sometimes and it was alright with her. Even if it did leave her feeling empty and alone with no one really to turn to who could understand what she had been through earlier that day.

Carol was just thankful they had all managed to make it out of that place whole as well thrilled to have found enough box springs and mattresses for all of the occupants currently inside their cell block. It had been a rough and busy day for all and as Carol laid there in her bed all in all she though today had been a good day as she drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face. The day could have gone worse and carol couldn't help herself as an image appeared behind her eyes. Daryl was there and he was on his way back toward the prison. Carol couldn't help but to _think "you're a little too late, where were you, when we could have used your help today? When I needed you most, you weren't here you were gone_." The questions kept revolving around in her head until the sandman finally stopped by and swept her away into her dreams.

**~*Not Lost Forever*~**

They had started out early the next morning. Daryl had been awakened by Merle as soon as the sun had started caressing the horizon. As usual Merle was at his bitching about wanting some form of food. They had been out in the woods having left their camp from the night before for over two hours when Merle finally stopped to take a piss against a tree. "There ain't nothen out here but mosquitos and ants." Daryl's voice pops out of the quiet as he's standing guard watching Merles back.

"Patience little brother. Sooner or later a squirrel is bound to scurry across your path" Merle's voice comes from behind him.

"Even so that aint much food." Daryl comments looking around them, he hasn't seen a deer in days. "More than nothing," Merle comments from where he is standing taking his sweet time pissing up against the tree not turning around. "I'd have more luck going through one of them houses we passed back on the turn off." Daryl's eyes are roaming the woods in front of him, watching the ground for any critters that might scurry out from the dying leaf litter covering the ground. Lifting his eyes to the trees roaming over the branches he's looking for signs of their movement. Some form of bouncing and moving from squirrels running upon them, something more than just the wind moving through their limbs moving them.

"Is that what your friends taught you? Hhmm? Merle asks as he zips up his pants and makes the short walk over to his baby brother's side. "How to loot for booty?" Bending down at the waist sinking down to the forest floor where his eyes have landed upon some wire. Where he takes it in hand and starts testing its strength.

"We've been at it for hours. Why don't we find a stream try to look for some fish?" Holding his crossbow up at eye level Daryl is looking around his eyes landing upon nothing more than the leaf litter that is covering the forest ground. "I think your just trying to lead me back to the road, man. Get me over to that prison."

"They got shelter. Food. A pot to piss in. Might not be a bad idea." Daryl says crossbow coming down away from his face to rest in his hands as he leans the weight of his bad against the tree. Leaning back into the bark his thoughts take him back to the place he longs for the most. Until Merle's voice breaks through tarring apart the images swirling around in his head. "For you maybe. Aint gonna be no damn party for me." Merle comments looking over at Daryl as he pulls on the wire laying there in his hand he starts gathering the length of it as he stand back up. Around and around the wire goes around his prosthetic as he stands there watching the forest around him. "Everyone will get used to each other."

Merle turns his head looking over ta his brother while he attempts to hold back his grin. He knows more than Daryl knows, Daryl doesn't know the governor like he does. All of the sick things the mad man has done. "They're all dead. Makes no difference." He can tell by the way Daryl lowers his bow down away from his eyes that he has struck a nerve in his brother. "How can you be so sure?"

Coming to the end of the wire line Merles decided enough is enough it's time to get moving forward. "Right about now he's probably hosting a housewarming party where's he's going to bury what's left of your pals. Let's hook some fish. Come on."

They have been wondering the woods for another couple of hours still no luck coming across any streams rivers or ponds that held the promise of fish. Merle's temper was growing with every step that they took; he knew Daryl was leading him back toward the prison. "Smells to me like the Sawhatchee creek." Merle pops off looking over his shoulder back at his brother. "We didn't go west enough. There's a river down there it's got to be the Yellow Jacket." Daryl coming up beside Merle making his way across a few trees, he knows this area like the back of his hand. Having hunted in these woods for the past few months he can already hear the bubbling and rushing of water coming from up ahead of them. "You have a stroke, boy? We aint never even come close to the Yellow Jacket." Merle closes his mouth as they come out of the woods to find a bridge there in front of them. The bridge is covered in stalled cars and walkers long since dead.

"We didn't go west just a little bit south. That's what I think." Daryl calls out as he starts working his way across the bridge. Letting a bolt or two fly as they come across walkers he continues across the bridge till their feet come upon the first car. Where they both stop and take a look at the inside. Most of the vehicles on the bridge have been picked through their doors are all hanging open their batteries long since fallen dead. Merle scoffs as he tosses an empty can aside and leans out of one of the cars. "You know what I think? I might have lost my hand, but you lost your sense of direction."

"Yeah, we'll see." Daryl calls back his search of the cars being over he's letting his feet lead him once more. They are carrying him over the cement of the bridge until they land on the forest floor. Where he slows his pace down to just a few steps the sun might be hiding behind some clouds but it was trying to make its way through and he's feeling exhausted due to the mug in the air. "What do you want to bet?" Merle asks coming up from behind him.

"I don't wanna bet nothen, it's just a body of water. Why does everything got to be a competition with you?" Making their way back into the forest Daryl looks back over his shoulder. Standing right there in big bold letters in white painted on a blue road sign is Yellow Jacket Creek and Daryl scoffs because he knew he was right. Being sure of his location and knowing just how much further he has to go Daryl starts doubling his pace if he can keep it up he'd make it back to the prison back to Carol, before the sun would start slipping its way out of the sky. As Carol's name goes drifting though his mind an image of her holding Judith in her arms pops up before his eyes. She's standing there beside a tree no too far off in the distance and it had Daryl moving his feet in a faster pace wishing he could move quicker than he already was. Merles voice breaks through his thoughts chasing away the image of carol and Judith. "Whoa, whoa take it easy little brother just trying to have a little fun here. No reason to get your panties all in a bundle."

The words leaving Merle's lips have Daryl stopping in his tracks and rounding on him. Daryl pushes into his brother's aura getting up and into his face. "Whatever man," Daryl steps closer growling his next set of words "no you know what, I went back for you. You weren't there." Waving his bolt in his brother's face sick and tired of Merle blaming him for all the stupid shit He's managed to do in this life to himself. "I didn't cut off your hand, neither. You did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. You asked for it." Hate and anger at this point was dripping off of his own presence but he no longer cared he'd had enough of Merle's shit.

Merle chuckles as he stumbles about he can't believe the words coming out of his brother's mouth. The way he just stood up to him makes him a little proud but at the same time his anger is raising a few notches higher. "You know, what's funny to me? Hhmm." He asks stumbling closer in Daryl's direction meeting the eyes that closely met his own peering down into the depths of his brother's soul. "You and Sheriff Rick are like this now." Merle asks holding up his right hand two of his fingers are crossed. His heart is pumping fast as adrenalin is pumping through his veins. Fears of being left out in the rain on his own are flashing through his mind. The thought of his only kin his blood not wanting him there by his side is starting to kill him and he's starting to throw up his walls. _So much for fuckin fishing_ he thinks as he looks down and takes note that the wire is now gone. Losing the wire makes him think of his missing hand and its making him see red at the thought of how well Daryl must have gotten along with officer friendly since he came back for him back at the governors compound.

"Right?" Merle asks dropping his arm down his hand falling back down to his side as he is locking eyes with Daryl. He's staring him down pushing closer into his space. "I bet you a penny and a fiddle of gold that you never told him that we were planning on robbing that camp blind." Merle taking a step closer into his brother's space nearly getting into his face, "It didn't happen," Daryl pivot's forward refusing to back down or to be pushed back.

"Yeah, it didn't 'cause I wasn't there to help you." Merle's shifting his weight from one foot to another his body is coiling up like a snake preparing to strike out at his opponent at the first sign of weakness. Daryl moves in closer getting into his face, "What, like when we were kids, huh? Who left who then?"

"What? Huh, is that why I lost my hand?" Merle pushes forward he's now standing there within arm's length and its making his phantom hand itch begging for action. "You lost your hand 'cause you're a simpleminded piece of shit." Daryl yells in Merle's face as he is pushes Merle right back before he turns his back on his brother and starts walking away. "Yeah, you don't know." Are the only words Merle manages to get out before he is acting out in anger and grabbing ahold of Daryl's shirt pulling at it tearing the material from his away from his back. Merle watches in horror as Daryl tips forward falling onto his knees. The protection from the shirt he was wear is now torn away exposing the multitude of scars hidden that have been kept hidden from sight there. There's a hard round lump quickly forming in his throat as bile rises up from the depths of his gut. Disbelief and horror strikes his mind like a shock of lightning exploding across the night sky. All at once as images from his own childhood memories take over flashing through his mind. The pain he too had suffered at the hand of their father slams into him making him shudder and step back away from his little brother. Standing there in disbelief as he watches Daryl gather his shirt around him and grabs ahold of his bags strap to return it to his shoulder.

"I…I didn't know he was..."

"Yeah he did." Daryl says rising up to his knees placing the strap of his backpack over his shoulders. "He did the same to you," He comments as he gathers his crossbow and his bolts peering over one shoulder. His secret is now out no longer hidden. All of the pain he was put through is rushing back up to the surface and even though it's been years he can still feel the bite of the belt slapping against his bare back. "That's why you left first." Daryl gathers himself and his thoughts pushing his demons back into their cage as he climbs to his feet stepping away from his brother. Images from his child hood rushing throughout his head and at the same time he's fighting down his hate for his brother. For leaving him behind when he should have known better. Though in all honesty Daryl cannot blame him for leaving the way that he did, he only wishes that things could have been different. As he makes it to his feet he starts walking away. Daryl can hear Merle open his big mouth once again. "I had to man. I would have killed him otherwise." Merle yells out as he comes out of his dazed state and he's stuck standing there watching as Daryl is walking away from him once again, "Where you going?"

Daryl stopping in his tracks turns around meeting the eyes of his kin _I wish that you would have, you'd have been saving me to you dumbass. _"Back where I belong."

Merle stands there dumb founded for a moment doesn't Daryl know he can't follow him there he's done too much damage to the people inside of the prisons walls. There's no way they would let him inside the fence. Not after all of those threats, he through at that kid and the girl. "I can't go with you… I tried to kill that black bitch… Damn near killed the Chinese kid."

"He's Korean."

"Whatever," Merle scoffs "Doesn't matter, man. I just can't go with you." He calls out holding out his hand in Daryl's direction as he's fighting the emotions that are battling on his insides. Along with the thought of being left alone on his own again away from his little brothers side. Questions are whirling and twirling around _how many times have I let you down?_

With his eyes focused on the forest floor hiding the pain hidden within the depths of his soul as he's fighting the demons back down into their cages. Daryl's hands start moving as he starts speaking his voice ringing out loud and clear through the space that is separating them. "You know I may be the one walking away," glancing up quickly in Merle's direction before returning his eyes back to the forest in front of him. The trail he is longing to walk down is there calling to him shouting out his name. Looking back over at Merle pointing his arrow in his brothers direction, "but you're the one that's leaving... again."

**~*Not Lost Forever*~**

Mind foggy feeling a little bit dizzy and out of sorts Carol became aware of the sunlight that was coming in through the small window inside her cell. Curling into herself she sighed. For the first time in a long time she finally slept throughout the night. There were no nightmares that awoken her from her sleep no body beside her to kick at her with his feet as he chased after phantom ghost in his sleep. Before she is able to open her eyes there's a knock on the cement wall outside her wall. "Carol, you awake?" Michonnes voice could be heard through the blanket covering her cell door.

"Yeah give me a moment," Carol sits up the covers falling around her as she straightens her clothes bending over she grabs for her shoes under the bed. After sliding them onto her feet she stands up replacing the covers, straightening them back out on her bed. "Go ahead, come on in." She calls out to Michonne as she's sitting there on the top of her bed stretching her soar awakening muscles. Carol listens and watches as the blanket covering her cell door is pushed aside and the cell door creaks open. Michonne steps inside but doesn't move any farther inward.

"Thought you should know, Rick's outside the fence. He didn't even bother to secure the gates before running outside them." Michonne's face as always is guarded but her eyes are telling a different kind of a story. "He's out there chasing his monsters." Her katana is in her hands her eyes dropping down as she pulls the blade from its sheath. A habit she herself isn't even aware of.

"Alright I'll speak to him when I get the chance. You're welcome to come in and sit down." Carol with a look of apprehension on her face welcomes the woman farther into her cell. "I don't bite after all; you'd likely take my head if I did with that sword in your hand if I did."

Moving farther into the room Michonne chooses the chair over in the far corner of the small cell space. "It's a Katana, not a sword they all have their names. You should have somebody teach you. Especially if that "Governor" decides to come around you should be ready to defend yourself." Sliding her blade all of the way out of its sheath Michonne pulls a rag from her back pocket as she begins to clean the blade while sitting there. IT's a manual task she has performed a million times and she doesn't it just out of the comfort of keeping her hands busy. Her eyes drifting up from her work she meets the blue eyes of Carol, "I could teach you."

"Daryl back before he left the group for his brother he showed me over the winter a few things about knives and hunting. But I've never handled anything quit that large before." Carol's heart starts pounding harder at the offer that has been presented to her. She'd still like to do more things for the group. Never wanting to be a burden again has been pushing her forward making her stronger to wise up above the woman that she once used to have been. "When and where do we start?"

Placing the cloth of material back into her pocket Michonne looks into the blue eyes of Carol to find the woman in front of her full of determination. Strength is shining through her eyes and the corners of Michonne's lips slide upward. "We start now."

* * *

Daryl is heading back to the prison and Michonne has offered to teach Carol. I have always thought these two ladies would get along well and as such I'm throwing them threw a bit of a loop. Hope you enjoyed what you have read drop me a line reviews are always welcomed. oxoxox


	9. Chapter 9 Coming Back Home

**Sorry for the wait! Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend. Much love to the readers and the reviewers. Can't say thank you enough.**

******Disclaimer I do not nor will I ever make any sort of profit from the walking dead or its characters. Don't own or make any form of profit from I was broken.**

* * *

**Not lost forever**

**Coming Back Home**

Lost to the darkness within he wonders, over the yard he traveled without a care in the world. Not bothering to secure the gates behind him. Gates that kept the dead at bay from entering into the place he now considered his home. Following searching longing after a phantom ghost that is silently calling out to him, he can feel her pull calling him forward drawing him in nearer to her presence, her touch. Rick's journey ended on the bridge his feet carrying him no further. The tug upon his spirit has ended right there in front of her. He clenches his fist at his sides as his eyes glazed over, the blue being swallowed into a heavy mist as his body stood swaying.

"You're not here you aren't real," his mind kept screaming at the image of Lori as she stood there before him even as he shifted his weight and leaned into the warmth of her hand on his face. Warmth seeps into his skin and travels down into his blood. Though he knows it's not real and nothing more than an illusion. His mind playing tricks on him, Rick still craves her touch as he pulls her nearer into his warmth breathing her in. A scent not yet forgotten reaches out from his mind grabbing his heart by the strings and they pull. Sinking down, down further into the darkness that is surround his every thought within his mind.

Rick knows he's going out of his mind the horrors from the day before kicking up old fear and pain calling it forward demanding attention once again. Carol could have been loss to him. A mistake made during all of the confusion. A mistake that could have cost one of their group members their life, Carol's life could have been ended. Why did he bother letting anyone in when everyone he loved was injured somehow or even left him? How could anyone ever come to love a monster like him? The questions had been drifting through his mind since it had happened yesterday and it had him gritting his teeth even now. Why did he even bother trying to find the good in life through loving someone? He bothered because without the good there would only be evil and he had seen by far too much evil. In the darkness Carol's voice breaks through the fog that is wrapping around his mind.

Shading his eyes with his hand he looks behind him out across the prison yard where he can see Carol up on a catwalk along with Michonne. His eyes are straining to make out what it is they are doing. By the looks of things they are bringing out more table tops and pallets to help finish lining the walkways in between the buildings. Axel appears and Michonne takes her leave after a few words with her. Rick wonders what that is all about Michonne usually prefers Tyreese's company not Carol's. He turned back around only to find the image of Lori to be once again gone. Rick started wondering around once again in his search for his lost love.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Carol had been speaking with Michonne and they had agreed to start training right away. The very first thing Michonne wanted for Carol to do was work on building the strength up in her arms and her body. She would need to be able to hold a weapon up for an unknown amount of time so it was important that she started working on building up the muscles in her arms back and legs. Here she was out on the catwalk currently lining the fence guards with pallets and metal table tops Axel not far from her side.

"So we will reinforce this with some metal from out in the yard. If anything happens we'll just duck." Carol explained to the man at her side currently helping her. As she ducks down to hide behind the metal table top she had just sat down into place. Over the past few months Carol had gotten to know more about Axel and the man that he was. She saw him as a good man who just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time. She found him to be humorous and he often could get her to smile and laugh.

Axel chuckled "I hope nothing happens. Guns scare the bejesus out of me." Axel proclaims as he straightens up from placing another pallet against a metal sheet. Walking towards Carol who is carrying one of her pallets he confesses, "I robbed a gas station with a toy gun. Never even took it out of my pocket."

"You said that Oscar was the thief. That you were in here for pharmaceuticals." Carol asked as she set the pallet into place turning towards Axel curious expression upon her face.

"Well I didn't want y'all to think I was a violent man. If you follow me." He looked at her and never once did he see her judging him in a cruel fashion. So far out of all of the group members Carol was his favorite she was easy to talk to and she never once called him a cruel name or made him feel like he was the butt end of a joke. "So what are you saying? You're in here for a toy gun?" Carol asked beaming a smile over at him as they both stood there talking.

"No listen to this. The next day the cops found me at my brother's house. I still had the water pistol in my pocket." "I swore up and down that that was the only weapon I had but they said they didn't believe anyone could be so stupid and get away with it. So they turned my brother's house upside down and found his .38."

"Said it "matched the description" There you go. Armed robbery."

"To tell you the truth, I don't even know how to use this damn thing." Whatever was left of his heart came to an abrupt stop as carol reached out and took the gun from his hand. "You're all about the truth now?"

"Yes, ma'am, I am." She was so lovely, her gentleness and the good inside of her set her apart from everything that this prison and him represented. It made him want to duck away to go back to his cell and hide the ugliness that was him away from the light of her world.

"It's fully loaded." Carol says as she pulls the chamber or rounds from the butt of the weapon. Looking up a smile on her face as she meets Axel's eyes reloading his weapon she passes it back to him. "Let's hope it stays that way."

Axel still meeting the eyes of Carol accepts the gun back into his hand and into his care, "Your quiet a lady." Carol smiles a chuckle leaves hers as the realization settles into her mind that the man in front of her has just paid her a compliment. A smile slides across her lips for the first time in a long time its meeting her blue eyes. Her blue eyes radiate joy as Carol pivot's and turns to head back to the pile of pallets waiting to be set up. It's been a while since a male has had kind words for her and joy spreads throughout her body. Someone might actuallyappreciate her and all that she does. "Let's finish setting these up and head out into the yard see what else can be put to use to modify our home."

~*Not Lost Forever*~

He'd been inside the prison for too long but the ache of his missing leg has been holding him back keeping him inside the prison walls. Hershel had had enough of those walls. He made the journey outside the cold moving in be damned. He wasn't about to let it hold him back any longer. As Hershel made his way outside he took a good look around. The other group members, people who had once came to his farm seeking help. The very people he now considered to be family had been hard at work.

While he had been spending time in doors healing up from the loss of his leg his family had been fortifying the prison, preparing for any form of danger that might come seeking them out. Walkers where gathering more and more at their gates. The threat of this Governor was still hanging over their head. While they had gained two members to their group they had also lost one. Hershel had felt the loss just as much as the others in their group had. Daryl had been an important part of their lives. He'd been the calm of the storm in some situations and the storm that had needed calming in others. Just as Hershel had grown to care for Glenn and Rick in a way as his sons he'd also had come to care for Daryl in the same way. The absence of yet another son weighed heavy on his mind as he wondered out into the yard of the prison. With Daryl gone and Rick on the brink of a meltdown Glenn had been taking on the responsibilities he could within the group to keep things up and going. Ever since he and Maggie had been out on that supply run and had been captured Glenn hadn't been quit the same man. Maggie had been pulling away from him for the past few months and they were just now starting to clear the whole miss understanding up between them.

Hershel blinked his eyes as the sound of distance thunder rolled through the sky. His mind bringing forth a picture of his daughters, the only person he worried about more than Maggie was Beth. The girl had closed in to herself more than she had back at the farm. Her attempt at ending her life had been a cry for help and he had been trying to do his best to bring his little girl back from the shadows of despair. Not an easy task for him to undertake with all that had happened to him recently but he was managing. With the birth of baby Judith and someone to care for Beth was coming out of her shell a little bit more each day, as though the young little miss had awakened Beth to the good that was still lingering in their torn up world. That's why he was having such a hard time understanding what had gone wrong yesterday. His little girl had been closed up ever since returning and while Rick had set him down and spoken to him about it Beth had yet to say a word about any of it. It wasn't like her to not say something to a person she may or may not have wronged. He had thought he had taught his daughters better than that.

While looking out over the yard as another roll of thunder can be heard across the sky above him, Hershel's eyes fell upon Rick. Watching the man wonder seemingly to be lost or chasing things unseen Hershel shacks his head in a disappointing manner. He's been lost and trapped in his own shadows of grief and he can understand the pain Rick is now. The loss of a wife, a woman he had held close would always leave a piece missing from his heart. But still it wasn't safe for Rick to be outside of the gates like he was now. He was not aware to his surroundings and the possible fall storm that seemed to be rolling in. Hershel's eyes gazed up at the sky seeking out the answers and the best way to go about helping this man who was lost. He prayed and gave his thanks before bringing his head back down to the ground to carefully watch his step while making his way down the hill and through the long growing grass. Holding his head high he moved forward enjoying the warmth of the sun as it seeped into his skin warming his old bones. While the days where growing shorter and the nights longer today was unusually warm for late Autumn. Bringing his eyes back down on to the path that was laid out before him, Hershel made his way up to the fence where he began to call out to Rick. To try and reason with all of his might to pull him back inside the fence. For all he knew maybe Rick was out there trying to strategize the best way to defend them, but even still Rick shouldn't be out there on his own. It just wasn't safe.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Carol was standing out in the courtyard trying to decide the best way to go about getting Rick's attention. She could already see Hershel out there an act to do that was not easy on the man. If he had thought it necessary to make his way all the out there in the condition he was in maybe she thought that she ought to go out there and talk to Rick see about bringing him in. She moved to step forward but it just wasn't in her today to play a savior. She had been trying so hard lately to move forward that seeing Rick out there now was starting to break away at her armor. Was it ever going to be possible for her to find a man who would see her instead of chasing after others? Just once she wanted to be wanted and loved in a way that the men in her life would seek her out when they needed her help. Instead they either beat her down till there was nothing left in her or they walked away from her._ I think of you and all you've done for me. Tell me, do you see or have I gone?  
Have you just left me here once again on my own Rick? _

Standing watching Rick one had shielding her eyes from the harmful rays of the sun Daryl popped into her mind. Tears crept into the corner of her eyes as her stomach bottomed out at the thought of the silent hunter she had lost. "_I need you,"_ Carol thought as a solitary tear trickled like a cool pinprick of ice down the skin of her cheek. Reaching up with one hand she quickly wiped it away. Disgusted with herself for allowing a moment of weakness to seep through Carol's thoughts kept drifting back to him even now when she didn't want them to. "_But you went away. How dare you? I miss you. They say I'll be OK but I'm not going to ever get over you. Living alone here in this place without you, I'm forever being reminded of you, thinking of you, and I'm not afraid. Not afraid now to be without you." _ Carol shook her head how many times was she going to have to tell herself enough was enough and let him go. But his memory was like a wound that even though it had healed it still ached from time to time when the weather was cold. Carol crossed her arms in front of herself as though doing so could ward off any mental or physical pain that wished to do her harm. It was an old habit she had yet to break. One she had adapted to years ago back when Ed had first married her. Not hearing the person coming up from behind her Carol is startled when she feels someone's fingers upon her shoulders tapping her there in order to gain her attention. Turning her head to the side Carol isn't surprised when her eyes land on Axel standing there beside her. "Stress getting to your man Rick?"

Carol squints her eyes in order to see Rick out past the gates. He's standing there speaking with Hershel still. "Can you blame him?"

Axel with a shake of his head proclaims a clear "No, not at all. In here I've seen plenty of dudes crack. But not me, I got on better in the inside."

Carol turns her head toward the man next to her. She feels as though Axel is starting to trust her more by opening up to her, earlier with the truth about his past and now with the words leaving his lips. She watches as calm settles over him and he turns his head for a moment his eyes meeting hers. A blue grey of a stormy sky meets with the blue of a clear summer day and Carol's heart skips a beat due to the longing of wanting that familiar blue to appear in front of her, blue of an ocean that has just settled down due to a storm. "Things made sense you know?" Carol squeezes her eyes shut and opens them once more finding Axel still standing there he's revealing more about who he is the man underneath all of that skin. "There were rules. Life was more, simple."

Turning her head to look at the man standing beside her squinting at him to help hold her feelings at bay. "Don't you miss your brother?"

"My brother?" Axel laughs as they both turn their heads away to look forward. "Hell no, he had a real money problem."

"What kind of a problem?"

"He didn't lend me any." Axel states while bumping his arm in to Carol's both of them laughing and smiling at the joke. "One time, that son of a b…" Before Axel is able to finish his thoughts or his sentence a gunshot can be heard ringing throughout the yard and he's being pushed back by a force ripping through his shoulder right into Carol.

"Aw shit man this hurts." Axel claims as he attempts to steady himself with Carol's help as she is pulling him backwards toward the entrance behind them. Stumbling beside her trying to keep up with her hurries pace as she is putting pressure onto his shoulder they climb the stairs quickly. Making their way into the door Carol helps Axel remove his top jacket to help stop the wound from bleeding. Axel falls over on to the cement floor as Carol moves behind him to check the wound in his shoulder.

"It's gone all the way through." Carol comments as she uses the hidden knife she keeps in her front pocket and starts tarring his jacket into strips to help stop the blood flow. "Here put pressure on it here, let's get you move up against the wall it'll help to stabilize you." Carol helped Axel settle back against the wall as she worked to stop the flow of blood.

"Don't worry about me none, been shot before. Told ya guns scare the bejesus out of me. Go on and take a peek make sure your man Rick is still standing out there along with the others." Axel patted her hand and gave it a squeeze as his blue eyes delved deep into hers. "Just don't forget about me, here take this with you."

Carol nodded her head as she stood up from her crouched position accepting the offered gun. Her eyes where full of worry she was getting sick and tired of the people around her she considered a part of her group and family being harmed. Her temper was boiling as she leaned over squeezing his hand before straightening up. "Don't worry I won't forget'cha." She told him the blue in her as reminding Axel of the storm that was rolling in.

Standing up the gun being held out in front of her as her body trembled from the adrenalin that was rushing though her blood stream Carol made her way quickly up to the door. Peeking through the open door Carol finds the area to be clear of enemy range. Moving quickly she hurries down the stairs to meet up with Maggi as she ducks behind a few filing cabinets. "Beth has your Weapon." Carol was able to make out Maggie's voice as a moment of silence fell over the yard. "When I tell you go head over to her and Carl," Carol nodded her head.

As the gun fire once more returned to filling the air the first drops of rain could be felt as Maggie took aim at the shooter up in their tower. Taking a deep breath she shouted at carol, "Go," as her finger fell upon the trigger. She needed to divert the shooters attention away from Carol as she watched her make her way quickly over to her sister's side.

Carol took the offered familiar automatic into her hands as she crouched down in front of the kids and peeked around the corner. Maggie had gotten lucky and had managed to hit the man that had infiltrated the tower. They all waited in horror withheld breath as they heard a vehicle coming up the prison's rocky gravel road. Carol was hoping and praying it was Glenn with Tyreese and Sasha coming back from their run early. Leaning forward to catch a peak around the side of the building her hope shattered at her feet as a small delivery truck barreled right through their gates defenses. With baited breath they all watched as someone jumped out of that truck only to open the doors in the back. At of the back of the delivery truck came their worst nightmares, walkers.

Heart pounding away in his chest he watched as walker after walker started to file out of the truck and out into the yard from his spot safe in the tree line of the woods. Rick was pinned in his spot along the bridge he was maneuvering quickly for cover as walkers where quickly closing in on him. He watched as Rick's finger pulled the gun's trigger but no bullet's carried out the wishers path. Rick could be seen moving quickly getting up and moving along the edge of the fence but he was quickly being over whelmed trapped. Like a wolf captures it prey Rick was being surrounded by walkers. Moving forward taking out walkers along his way Daryl fought his way out of the woods. He had to protect his brother in all but blood. As he made his way out of the tree line his heart up in his throat loading a bolt he sent it sailing just in the nick of time. His aim was true and the bolt went right through the skull of the walker Rick was holding at bay. Meeting the eyes of his brother Daryl moved to take a step forward. Quickly loading another bolt into its place he sent it flying once more as Merle made his way out of the tree line to pummel the closest walker to Rick he could grab. This wasn't how Daryl had want the reunion to go but at least this way things would work themselves out easier and with Merle jumping in to help save Rick's life he now had a pass that would let him inside the gates.

Looking around and finding the governor and his men to have fled Rick meets Daryl's eyes and nods his head. His heart is still beating wildly inside his chest one obstacle down and out of the way. Now with the arrival of his lost brother new ones are surely to stand in his way. Rick nods his head the ghosts that have been haunting him all day have long since fled. New worries await him ones that have yet to be told, will Carol stay with him or will she leave his side. Only time can tell.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

The dark angry clouds where still high above them they were weeping right along with them as they watched the walkers roam around in their yard. Thunder and lightning was retelling the sky as Carol stood up peeking around. She held her breath once more as she heard another vehicle coming quickly down the dirt road path that led to the prison. One of her hands roes to lay upon her chest as she wished to the gods above that the worst of the days damage was done. The adrenalin rushing throughout her body was calling out to her to move forward. Taking a step one after the other she moved out from behind the wall as the once light sprinkle of rain turned into pouring down rain. Carol's hand traveled up from her chest to her mouth as she watched a silver familiar truck make the turn and up through the downed fence heading straight for Hershel. Carol's eyes followed that truck as she continued forward to the gate that had yet to be opened along with Beth Maggie and Carl at her side. Waiting patiently as Carl placed the key in the lock her eyes where tearing up as of yet and as far as she can tell no lives have been lost. As Carl finally works the lock of the gates latch and moves it to the side allowing Glenn to drive pass with Hershel safely inside. Carol steps up to the truck giving Hershel a quick hug. "Axel's inside he's been shot. Did you see Rick out there is he alright?" She asks as she pulls away meeting his eyes over the body of Beth who has just swooped in to hug her father once more and to help lead him back to the safety of the prison.

"Rick's fine he's out there, take your gun and go meet him. Tyreese and Sasha are going to head out there take care of the walkers out in the yard." Hershel met Carol's eyes with a nod of his head. "I'll see to Axel when I get in there."

"Alright I'm going to go check up on Rick make sure he's alright." Carol placed the strap of her automatic around her after wiping the rain out of her eyes. Her hand traveled down her face to wipe the stress of the few minutes hour's days away. She started walking back toward the gate along the way she reached down to her belt with trembling hands and undid the sheath on her knife. Was Rick safe was he alive? The questions kept floating around inside her head repeating over and over again. She gave a shake of her head trying to dislodge the repeating voices with in. Taking her weapon in hand she walked past the safety of the inner gates and moved out into the world that awaited her.

Lightning was streaking throughout the sky lighting the land all around her. Why hadn't she noticed how dark it had gotten to be? Carol kept moving forward and before she could react a walker was upon her. With all she had been through so far on this day she reacted without even thinking and bared her knife deep inside the walker's dead brain. As she watched it fall to the ground she brought her hand up to cover her eyes in an attempt to see through the rain. It was falling much harder than before making it dangerous to be out here but she couldn't give up this fight until she knew that all of her family members where all right. She noticed off to the side of her Michonne working with Sasha and Tyreese off to her right taking out walkers as a team. As she followed their progress with her eyes for a moment she watched as Rick made his way up to the group and she wasn't quite sure but it looked like there was a man at his side. Carol gave a shake of her head and turned to look at the world behind her and that's when she spotted what appeared to be a man walking through the pouring down rain.

Carol squeezed her eyes closer together as the rain started pouring down much faster and harder. The wind picked up whipping around her. Thunder was rolling and shaking the land as the lightning streaked through the sky right above where the man was walking toward her and as he grew closer Carol's heart was beating out a new rhythm inside her chest. Blinking her eyes rapidly in an attempt to see through the rain her hand fell to her side dropping her knife as she started to run in the direction of that familiar figure. Her heart repeating the words Daryl over and over again. Running across the yard Carol could make out the features of the man running toward her and she knew she was right. As he came closer she could feel the tears in her eyes start to swell up and slowly leave tracks down her face. As they moved slower together they slowed down to a walk. Walking quicker with every beat of her heart now drumming away in her ears Carol slowed her pace down at the last moment before she collided with him. She managed to stop and stand upon her toes as the one before her reached out and pulled her into his warmth.

Daryl's arms wrapped around her in the pouring down rain and though it was cold bone chilling rain she felt nothing but warmth at his touch. Daryl pulled her ever nearer into his warmth savoring the woman he had longed for as he held her closer than he ever had before. His mind was repeating over and over again _mine, my woman I should have never fucken left_. He brought his head down to rest on her shoulder as he lifted her up off of the ground. Wrapping his arms tighter around the woman he hadn't been aware until now just how much she truly meant to him. Completed him. For the first time in forever he felt whole. Here in this moment with the rain pouring down around them he was home.

Carol's head lulled back and she started laughing with glee. The sound was filling his ears lifting away the despair he had been feeling for months beyond his control.

Carol brought her head back down baring her nose along the side of his neck. This was her home this is where she was meant to be. Carol brought her hands up pushing the hair out of Daryl's face her blue eyes meeting the eyes she had longed for so long to meet the blue of her own. The biggest smile crossed her face and before she knew it Carol watched as the world around her moved in slow motion. Daryl slid her body along his bringing her feet back down to the ground. The rain slowed down yet was still pouring down all around them. The look on Daryl's face was one she had never seen before his eyes where delving deep down into her soul as they came closer and before she could react and tell him she was now with Rick his head came down. His lips where upon hers. Carol was lost. Lost in the arms of the man she had missed. Lost in the bliss of finally having this man back in her life. Back where he belonged. Her lips were moving over his lovingly in return to his own seeking response.

Until she heard a voice calling her name, Carol pulled her lips away realization falling over her face as she pulled away opening her eyes. Taking a step back her body longing to move closer, but her brain was screaming out at her not to do this in fear of his leaving her once again. _"He left you, what do you think he'll do once he finds out about Rick?"_ Carol's thoughts keep taunting at her. She takes a few steps back out of his reach her eyes turning sad for a moment before her body turns red in anger takes over.

All the while her heart is weeping because he's finally showing some form of affection towards her, he wants her and yet she can't act upon the want that is pulling away at her strings. She can't be with the man in front of her. Not when she is currently with another and the thought alone shatters what's left of her. As Rick finally comes up behind her pulling Carol into his arms and into his warm he watches as Daryl takes a step back. "I see that you found her come on the others are heading in." Rick's hand travels down the length of her arm grabbing her hand as he starts out for the prison Carol tucked into his side as the clashing of thunder is beating heads high up in the sky. Carol looks behind her, her eyes landing on Daryl asking him if he's coming back to the prison and he nods at her as he starts following after them his crossbow now in his hands pointed at Ricks back. Carol gives the silent hunter a shake of her head and pears into his eyes through the rain making out the pain that is there. She whispers into the wind rushing past her a silent message leaving her lips, "I missed you."


	10. Chapter 10 Something More

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITHIN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES ARE MADE BY MY DESIGN.**

* * *

**Not lost forever**

**Something More**

Daryl was putting the best of his skills to work. The rain was making it hard to see his surrounding area but he refused to give up. He had to find her. Every fiber of his being was calling out to him to seek her out. He'd been away for far too long. The seasons had changed since his feet had last made tracks upon this piece of land. Daryl's mind wondered away from its current task at hand. _Had she changed right along with it as well? _Daryl didn't know if the woman he sought after now had changed in any way or form but he needed to know. The questions where burning deep down inside his mind. _Was she alright? Did the governor's men harm her? May gods have mercy upon their souls if they did for he was in no mood for being kind to any man that dared to harm his woman._

The rain was pouring from the sky all round them the earth shook from the thunder that was rolling through the sky's above him. Following behind Rick and his brother Daryl moved quickly taking out a few wondering walkers. Falling behind slowing his steps while squinting his eyes, shielding them with one of his hands. His crossbow was currently safe on his back his large hunting knife cradled in his hand. The familiar feeling of the cold metal was a comfort to the rapid beating that weighed heavy on his chest. The need to yell out her name was growing stronger with every step that he took. Walking further into the field inside the fence line Daryl's eyes fell upon a familiar outline. The outline was of a woman, one he often times wished he was brave enough to hold. Even from the distance that separated them he could feel the call of her spirit pulling him in. Feeling like a magnet being pulled by its partner Daryl took a deep breath into his lungs as he tilted his head watching her. Moving swiftly without caution he started moving across the water soaked field. He was ready to act upon his wants, the wants turning and struggling for release deep within his body.

Daryl's pace picked up as the adrenalin pumping through his blood stream was forcing his limbs to move faster, to move closer. He could almost make out the shape of her face in the pouring down rain. The image of her moving closer the blue of her eyes through the rain was calling out to him pulling him nearer. His legs broke out into a run. Arms demanding at last to hold her to drop the barrier he had been holding in place for far too long. Sheathing his knife as his legs slowed down into an easier pace he was now standing in front of her after taking a few steps to meet her he stood right there in front of her.

Daryl's body reacted instantly to her presence. There was electricity traveling over his skin and his palms became sweaty. Carol's presence was beckoning to him to move closer, every muscle with in his body was jumping underneath his skin, and every fiber of his being was begging to feel her touch to once again know the soft gentle feel of her hand upon his skin. Daryl's heartbeat was picking up speed and as his arm reached out palms opening wide fingers itching to touch her. "Stop being a pussy," now his mind was yelling out at him in his brother's voice.

The very presence of her had his member becoming erect, and he was sure that it would probably terrify her if she had noticed it. So he remained where he was standing still not moving at all. _What if she liked it? What if she asked you to move closer to close the distance and to lean in and kiss her take her into your arms? To touch her?_

Daryl didn't get to make a choice on rather he was ready to reach out and touch her his body was already moving into action by reaching out and pulling her closer into his warmth. His arms where wrapping around her without a care in the world he wasn't flinching from this woman's touch he refused to back down from her simple touch. As his arms wrapped around her tighter lifting her up his head fell forward onto her shoulder. As he listened to her laughter of joy he knew at once this woman was his peace and his joy. Carol had become his reason for living a long time ago. Back at that farm while he was out searching for her little girl he just hadn't realized it, but his heart had already known.

Daryl felt Carol's arms wrap around him as her head fell back. Joy and a feeling of calm settled around him as he heard her laughter is it left her mouth. Longing and joy over road all of his doubt at that pixie like laughter. He felt her bring her head back up and run her face along the side of his neck a growl came forth to his lips leaving his chest. He stood there watching as she pulled away the biggest smile was there on her face as plain as the day for all those who would dare to look upon her to see. Daryl had to reach out touch her, kiss her to bring her head down nearer to his. For the first time in a long time he had finally found where he belonged and it was there in front of him waiting all along. Here he knew how to battle the demons that where restless inside him. He knew how to squash the doubts that they whispered into his ears. Sliding her body along his, Daryl gently set her back down onto the ground. Even with the rain falling all around them and danger still lurking about he had only eyes for her in this moment. Damn the undead. Damn the storm rolling above and all around them. Reaching out to Carol he pulled her as near as he dared aligning her body with his. Daryl's head was lowing as his eyes met hers silently asking. His lips fell upon hers. _Woman, don't know why ya rescued me. Swear that you're the best for me. All of my damn life I couldn't get it right till ya came along._

Daryl's world was turning without any stops. He didn't know which way was up and which way was down. His arms encircled her she was the tether holding his feet still anchored to the ground. His heart was drumming away in his chest causing the blood to surge through his veins and roar in his ears. If only that roar could dull the shouts of the man coming near. He felt Carol start pulling away and as she did calm nudge itself into his head. He stood there as he watched her take a backward step into another man's embrace instead. _How can I stand next to you all alone and do nothing at all? _

Carol watched him.

If he feared her response, he gave no indication. He watched as one of Rick's hands trailed around the base of her neck pulling her in closer even as he leaned down into her. His lips traveled up to her ear where he whispered pulling her nearer. Carol gave no indication that Rick's affection was unwanted. He watched as she gave Rick a smile and with a shake of her head she allowed him to trail his hand down her arm and grasp her hand tightly in his. Rick acknowledged Daryl with a tight lipped look on his face, his blue eyes where whispering "Mine" as he headed away with Carol in tow back to the prison.

Daryl watched as they walked past him. His heart was crumbling into a thousand pieces down at his feet. But he accepted what he saw in front of him, and he knew in that moment just how big of a mistake he had truly made when he had chosen to walk away. With a heavy heart and his feet incased in cement he followed after the woman he loved and the man he considered a brother at her side. Guarding their backs as they moved toward the prison in the heavily falling rain Daryl's thoughts kept on repeating, _I'll go where ever you will go way up high or down low ya gotta know for you I'll fight woman._

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Entering into the prison Daryl took his time heading toward the cell block he had once called home and was ready to claim as his residence once again. As Daryl turned the corner wiping his palms on his wet jeans, his where once again sweaty but this time it was because of the electrical current that he could feel. The static cling weighed heavy on the air as though the very walls inside of the prison where welcoming him back home. Daryl looked around his eyes taking in the sights around him. His sky blue eyes opened up wide as they looked around and found that a lot had changed in the time he had been gone. Looking around coming to an abrupt stop Daryl took in the way the cells where now covered up with tarps and blankets. There was now carpet and rugs lining the cement floor and heavy curtains covering up the barred windows. As he walked further into the cell block Daryl noted the warmth that enveloped the room. Sure the warmth of the day could still be lingering even as it thundered and rained outside. But that kind of warmth wouldn't leave the scent of wood being burned.

The group had also added a few additions to it while he had been gone. More than he had already known about. Michonne was there along with the big man he had learned was named Tyreese. His sister Sasha stood off to the side as Glenn stood there going a few rounds with Rick about Merle. Focusing in on the conversation he two men were having Daryl learned quickly that they had already placed Merle in a cell with the door locked and bolted tight for the rest of the day.

"So we're trapped in here. There's barely any food or ammo."

"Been here before, we'll be alright."

"That's when it was just us, before there was a snake in the nest."

"Man, we gotta go through this again? Look Merle's staying here. He's with us now. Get used to it."

"Hey," Rick says stepping forward attempting to step in and defuse the problem. "All y'all," Daryl comments before he takes his leave storming off before the argument could escalate into something more he headed up the stairs to the second level.

Daryl entered into the cell that he used to claim as his own and found it to still hold all of the items he had left behind when he had left the prison all those months ago. Walking into the cell further he set his pack down on the top of the bunk and took the bow from off of his back setting it down on the bottom bunk. Taking a look around Daryl noticed his laundry that had been left in the corner had been washed and was now sitting on the top of the dresser that had been moved into his cell. Curiosity got the best of him and he walked over to the dresser opening up the first drawer his hands landed upon his opened it leaning over to peer into the drawer Daryl found it to hold winter shirts. With a shake of his head and wonder traveling through him he closed the drawer and moved his hands up to the first one. Opening it up he found socks and undershirts, this prompted him to move quickly throughout the other drawers opening them quickly taking note of what was with in before closing them back up. With a shake of his head he moved over to the bottom bunk and sat down heavy on the bed. Placing his elbows on his knees he cradled his head in his hands.

Stress from the past few months had been weighing heavy upon his shoulders pressed down on him. Here he had been wondering the forest with his brother with thoughts of their safety and worries about the governor pounding away in his mind like demons wanting out of hell. Yet the whole time he had been gone the walls had stood strong. Until his return, was it just bad timing was the devil laughing at his back or did lady Fate have a hand in his coming home? All of these things where buzzing around inside his head. Had someone been preparing his cell for him or someone else? Who would have done this? Had it been Carol?

Carol, an image of her slid like a snake into his thoughts and his body tightened remembering the feeling of her warmth against his. Even now he could feel his mind body and soul tugging at him to go and seek her out. But he knew she was currently changing her clothes after helping Hershel patch up Axel's shoulder she had taken off to her cell. Relief he had felt when he had watched her enter that room flowed through him now as he heard a knock on his door. "She refused to believe that you were gone you know? Carol." Beth said stepping into the room Judith asleep in her arms.

Daryl's head came up out of his hands at the sound of the young girl's voice. "Oh yeah, is that so?" His voice was rough even to his own ears. He watched as Beth stepped into his cell further, "Yeah, she always believed you would come back, even though we all thought you never would. She kept saying she was preparing the room in case other survivors came around but most of us know that was a lie." Beth lowered the babe in her arms holding her out toward Daryl as she approached his bunk. "Do you want to hold her? She's missed you."

"Sure why not," Daryl opened his arms accepting the sleeping Judith. Pulling the babe in close to his chest the warmth of her body was warming his heart. Where before it had been frozen and torn into a dozen pieces as he had watched carol walking away with Rick. This small bundle now waking up in his arms was healing him once again. As Judith opened her eyes Daryl watched as she stretched and she smiled as she met the familiar blue eyes of the man she had missed. "Hello sweetheart." A smile flirted upon his lips as he watched Judith bring a fist to her mouth and start sucking upon it before offering it up to Daryl.

"She's been with Rick for a few months now, took it really hard when she found out you weren't coming back." Beth smiled down at Judith in Daryl's arms.

"She's grown." Daryl said looking up and stretching his arms back out to hand over Judith. His mind was reeling over this new information.

"Baby's do that in the first few months. She missed you too you know, we all did." Beth took the babe back into her arms. Her eyes on Daryl a pensive look upon her face as she stood there staring at him. "Are you going to leave us again? You know we are weak here without you?"

"Nope, don't have plans on leaving again. Not if I can help it."

"Good," Beth placed a quick kiss on Daryl's cheek before standing back up. "Welcome home Daryl." Turning around after giving him a nod of her head a smile on her lips she left his cell.

Daryl scrawled brushing the feeling of Beth's sisterly kiss off his cheek as he moved back farther onto the bunk. Picking up a bolt along the way, he brought his legs up as his mind started to wonder. What was he going to do now? What else had changed while he had been away? Not before long he could hear the familiar steps coming near. His hearted started picking up on the tune that played only for her. He took in a deep breath at the sound of her fingertips running over the open cell doors beside his own. As Carol came to a stop in his doorway the breath in his lungs escaped him and he forgot how to breathe for a moment as he watched her lean up against the door jam. Her arms where behind her back and he was glad that she didn't move into his cell any closer. He wasn't sure he would have the strength it would take to hold himself back if she came to be any nearer. As it was he was already leaning as far off of the bunk as he dared the fear of falling off never crossing his mind as her blue eyes fell upon him taking him in.

"Haven't had the chance to say I'm glad you came back." Carol's head was leaning back against the door jam and Daryl couldn't help but to follow her every move with his eyes. At the sound of her voice he started breathing again. Looking around tearing his eyes away from her presence Daryl's fingers are constantly toying with the bolt in his hand. As his eyes fall upon everything inside of his room he looks up and back over at Carol, "To what? All this?"

Carol steps into his cell she has no idea on how tightly curled every muscle inside of his body is ready to spring like a snake to grab her up and have his lips meet hers once more. "This is our home." Her voice comes out strong as she takes a seat in the chair right at the entrance up against the far wall. Her eyes never leaving him as Daryl continues to toy with the bolt in his hands his eyes meeting hers before drifting back off into the distance. "This is a tomb."

"That's what T-dag called it. Though he was right," Carol's voice reminds him of that day as she is looking off into the distance. "Till you found me," her head turns and warmth fills his body as her blue eyes meet the blue of his own and he can swear that it's just like the ocean kissing the sandy shore of a beach, the blue of her eyes is welcoming him home.

Daryl is forced to look down and away as carol breaks the contact off and looks down at her hands. "He's your brother but he's no good for you." Carol remarks bringing her head back up her eyes meeting his once more seeking his eyes hoping to pass on a wordless message that only they as damaged souls could understand. "Don't let him bring you down." Daryl breaks off the eye contact looking down and away. _Ashamed enough because of him as it is. Have been my whole damn life just really good at hiding it and here she is telling me shit I already know._

"After all look how far you have come." They both look around before breaking out into laughter.

Carol's eyes are wondering the room but they keep on coming back landing on him. Her eyes keep begging him wanting to explain what happened out in the field when she first saw him. But she wants him to acknowledge it first. Acknowledge her and the feelings that are there shooting between them. _Say something I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I would have followed you. Just Daryl please SAY something. _Twisting her hands together in her lap her palms becoming sweaty as the moments tick by on the clock and nothing leaves his lips not even a sigh. Carol takes a deep breath as she watched Daryl open his mouth his head coming up his eyes meeting hers._ Say something anything. Ask me what you will. Just say something before I start giving up on you, Daryl._

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you in time."_ And I will swallow my pride  
you're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye._ Sorrow was there behind those eyes. "Out there I mean. I should have come back sooner. Shouldn't have ever left in the first place."

Carol wanted to leave her seat and yell at the man in front of her. To ask him, _"WHY?" Why did he leave only to come back? Was he here to torment her? He was so close and yet still so far out of her reach. _"I thought you weren't coming back you know, thought you had left for good. Hoped you'd come back but you didn't until now." Carol looked down and away hiding the pain that still lingered with in her. Sure she had been hiding it well from the others as well from herself but at the end of the day when she closed her eyes every night after getting of duty her dreams would always be full of the man who sat there in front of her.

Daryl met her eyes from across the cell. He was no longer fiddling with the bolt in his hands. "Even if I try, I'm not strong enough to stay away. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters." Daryl got up grabbing his bow and bag in the process of getting ready to leave his cell.

"You're leaving again? Carol stood up moving over towards Daryl her feet were heavy and she was having a hard time closing the distance between them as her heart pounded away in her chest.

"Gotta go and finish taking down the walkers out in the field so that Tyreese and the others can repair the fences maybe go hunting." Daryl brushed passed her heading out of the cell.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Trees towered on every side of him. The night's cold wet air had a buzz of insects and animals at rest, predators could be heard lurking about as they moved through the underbrush on the forest floor. Daryl had walked for miles just trying to clear the demons running amuck around in his head and wrap his thoughts around all of the changes that had happened while he had been absent. While his mind was alive with many thoughts the rest of him was left feeling empty. He was nothing more than an empty void. No joy and no sadness at the moment here lost with in the woods he just was. His head falling back he looked up at the sky above him. The moon was out and bright the clouds had long since moved on leaving an endless expanse of stars stretching as far as his eyes could see. Why was he here? The group back at the prison had been doing alright until he had shown back up. With a shake of his head he brought his head back down and started to once again move throughout the forest.

As early evening faded away into late night Daryl set out towards a gas station that was nearby. Daryl knew there were a few vehicles parked alongside it so with a heavy heart and cement incased feet he journeyed towards the gas station that was beckoning to him. Arriving at the station Daryl spotted the familiar Silverado sitting there in the parking lot. Looking around and finding no walkers to be near he made his way out of the cover of trees and into the parking lot. Knowing the last time he had been here the place hadn't been completely picked through Daryl made his way around the building and up to the back door. Finding it to still be unlocked when he tried the knob Daryl made his way inside the dark store room. Antipathy made its way under his skin as he made his way around the back store room in search for the box that he knew held several bottles of hard whiskey and beer. Stumbling upon the box Daryl took it up into his arms as he turned to make his way back out to the waiting truck. Daryl was angry. The closer he drove the truck toward the prison the more his temper would rage. But he didn't know why. He gnashed his teeth the thought of her with him had his knuckles bleeding white as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. She had called out to him, had awakened something in him and had weakened his walls. A wolf that had slumbered for eternity was awakening and stretching its claws. Daryl grabbed the bottle of whiskey that was cradled between his thighs as the prison came into sight. Popping the top off, he downed the small bottle of its contents as he pulled up to the gates.

Parking the Silverado in the front lawn after Tyreese had let him into the gates Daryl cranked up the radio. Heavy instrumental came blaring out of the speakers. He pulled a cigarette out of the pack sitting on top of the dash wishing he could be out there sitting on the hood of the truck and drinking. Daryl was aiming the headlights into what he hoped to be Rick's bedroom window. He threw an empty whiskey bottle out the window. His imagination starting to run wild, it was painting both Rick's and Carol's shadows along those dark prison cell walls. _Wish I knew how long it's been going on. Nah, he can't amount to much._ His eyes landed on the truck he remembered Rick favored before he had left the group to stay with Merle and he scoffed at the size of it as he reached over into the passenger seat and popped the cap off of a beer. _By the look of that little truck_ _Rick wouldn't amount to much_. Daryl chuckled. _Bet he can please her with that little thing. Don't matter, Rick won't be getting any sleep tonight. _

Daryl's body was beginning to act like a traitor. It was hardening up remembering the way Carol had felt in his arms. He was damning himself for ever leaving the group, leaving her. As he grabbed up what was left of his beer and opened the driver's side door. He stumbled a littleas his mind shouted at him,_ why didn't you make a move sooner asshole? _Daryl slammed the door to the truck shut thinking, _screw it_ _I'm gonna keep aiming the headlights into his bedroom window. See how he likes it come morning. _

~*Not Lost Forever*~

He'd left her once again, left her with questions running throughout her head. As she moved out of the cell Carol moved along the familiar paths she was lost with in the realms of her mind. She couldn't understand why? Why would she still cling to the love she had for a man who had left her? Why did she still stand willingly beside Rick even while he was lost to her? Carol wasn't stupid, she wasn't blind. She knew Rick was still lost in the depths of his own mind and yet every time she tried to pull him from it something or another would be there dragging him right back down. Carol knows she's a strong woman but even she has walls that can be torn down only so many times. There had once been a time when she thought she could have squashed Ricks monsters even thought he could vanish hers as well but after seeing the way he had been today she was no longer sure.

Carol's mind was a jumbled up mess. Her head was telling her one thing and her heart was crying out for another.

Carol was pulled from her thoughts by Rick coming up beside her. Her feet had led her here to his cell some time ago somehow knowing that all of her answers could be answered here in this cold room. Bringing her head up Rick watched as the silver curls that were beginning to frame her face bounced as she brought her head up the blue of her eyes shining brightly as she sat there on his bed.

Rick couldn't help himself he knew the way he had been acting lately just wasn't right it wasn't the right kind of warmth the woman in front of him deserved. He watched as her lips twitched, as though she already knew his secret. Fury burned deep in his gut. A fury at himself for letting her down, Rick had has wanted to be there for her yet every time she got close enough to heal him, he would pull further away. "Where did you go before? This morning, what was so important that you left the gates unlocked and if it hadn't of been for Michonne being there to secure them we could have had walkers in here destroying the place long before the governor and his men had shown up?"

Forcing a grim smile onto his tight lips he moved closer to her. Sidled closer to her moving his body downward over hers forcing her to lay back across the bed as his hands came down to rest upon either side of her head on the bed caging her in. Rick moved until his nose was aligned with hers keeping his upper body off of hers he could already feel the electricity humming in the air between them. It was bouncing off of their skin.

Rick watched as Carol's pink tongue came out to lick her lips, then with a loud sigh she crossed her arms over her chest. Narrowing her eyes, the blue depths of them shining through an angery cobalt blue, her lips settled into a grimace. "Are you going to answer my question? Or has the walker gotten your tongue?"

Refusing to rise to the bait he ignored her, his eyes focused only on hers as his heart beat wildly inside his chest. He wasn't in love with the woman below him but he wasn't blind to the love he did have for her. Seeing her earlier wrapped up safe inside of Daryl's embrace had nearly brought the man in him to his knees. While the fighter that lurked with in the depths of his mind fought to move to the surface. He felt as though he was moving a thousand feet per a second when he was crossing the prison yard to make it to her side. Even with the storm rolling through the sky he was able to see what his heart had been telling him all along. "I had things…stuff to do."

Carol's eyes were like knifes, they were ripping through his words and exposing them as the wicked lie that they were. But it was the only explanation he would give to her before the beast of jealous inside of him broke through his mental wall and had him claiming her lips in a harsh bruising kiss. The shiver that raced a crossed his skin along with the heat that burned from deep within him, was anything but soft. It was harsh and demanding full of want and need. Being around Carol made him remember what it felt like to feel. To have wants to need. To have seen her there in the middle of that field with Daryl made his fingers twitch with anger as he brought one of his hands up off of the bed to start roaming his body. He was amazed that she had yet to push him away from her body. Maybe somewhere inside of her she understood he was trying to claim her.

Carol knew what was happening she wasn't as blind as she had allowed the others to think. She knew what was coming the moment Rick had walked into the room. Even as Carol's thoughts where clouding her mind she knew what had to be done, with every fiber of her being she had to make sure there was love between the man who was currently manipulating her body into a wanting bundle of nerves. Or was this all just a lie? She had been left wanting for so long she no longer knew what was real and what fantasy was. Was she trapped within the realms of her mind? Had Daryl really came back and had tried to claim her? Did she want claiming by another man besides the one she was currently with? Did Rick even see HER or was she just a means to fill a space left inside him? She hugged her arms around his body hands traveling roaming over the course muscles of his back tarring and pulling away at his shirt. She hadn't meant to sound so curt but when she had seen him out there wondering after a ghost it had hurt.

Carol lifted her upper body up off of the mattress as Ricks hands journeyed over her skin pulling away the articles of clothing he could manage to reach. After roughly pulling her clothing away from her skin Rick fell to his knees in front of her and slowly made love to her with his mouth. Somewhere along the way the roughness of his touch had turned gentle and Carol was lost in a whirl wind of emotions he was clouding her mind with. After the first orgasm Carol found herself being pushed up onto the bed with Rick's length finding itself deeply nestled inside her. She was so close to another earth shattering orgasm that she was clawing at Rick's back demanding more. More she was so close but then she heard a cry leaving Rick's lips and it wasn't her name it was Lori's. He didn't even seem to be aware of the name he had just called out he just kept moving inside of her and Carol's heart was breaking apart as the world around her came tumbling down. Carol couldn't help it as the walls around her came tumbling down she called out HIS name.

Coming back to his senses Rick clamped down hard on his teeth as he watched Carol roll out from under him. He watched her as she quickly pulled away from his touch leaving the bed she moved around the room getting dress. Sadness clung to her like a parasite that had gotten under her skin and was slowly killing her from within. He watched as the negative energy around her was gathering up strength and he hadn't a clue on what he had done as he watched her finish dressing. He wanted to chaise after her, wrapping the sheet around him he stood up moving forward his fingertips brushing the soft skin of her shoulder. He needed her just as much as she needed him.

Carol looked over at Rick giving him a sad lopsided smile as she nibbled on the corner of her lips and his heart clenched as he watched her make a pathway leaving the room. She made her way out of the cell and down the hall to the open area. She was going to head toward the library there was an attached bathroom she often used to clean herself up. Reaching down to the sheath on her waist she pulled out her knife as she made her way through the halls coming upon the library she entered heading straight to restroom. Carol stripped down as soon as her feet entered into the room. Her mind was running a mile a minute. On shake legs she made her way over to the basin she kept along the counter and filled it with the fresh water she kept in here just for these purposes. Carol never wanted for the others to see her. To see the scars and marks that littered her skin so here is where she would come to shower alone where watch full eyes did not linger. As Carol picked up a clean wash cloth and bar of soap she started scrubbing away at her skin. Her lashes fluttered and a chuckle came forth from somewhere deep inside of her. She became lost in the familiar motions never even noticing the presence that had been following her, sneaking up from behind her.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Daryl's had made his way into the prison on wobbly legs. Apparently the past two months he hadn't been drinking his tolerance had slipped more than he had expected. He knew better. He just didn't give a shit right now.

Daryl made his way into the cellblock listening to the quiet snoring and heavy light breathing that was traveling along the walls of the cell block. As he made his way further in he could hear moaning and sighing. Thinking it was just Glenn and Maggie at it once again Daryl kept making his way farther into the cell block until he saw movement going on in one of the cells. Moving in closer Daryl saw Maggie helping her dad out with Axel. They were replacing the bandages on his shoulder once more. Daryl winced for the man knowing how much gunshots could hurt in such a tender area. Taking a second glance because his blue eyes where blurry he ran a hand over his face trying to focus in on what was in front of him. He was astonished to see Maggie in there his eyes weren't playing tricks on him after all. Where was Carol? If Maggie wasn't the one making the breathy sighs than who was?

Forcing his feet to move farther into the cell block Daryl came to Carol's empty cell finding the door to be open and the blanket to be moved back he slipped inside. With his head hanging he moved into the empty room heading over to where the bed was up against the wall he sat down upon it. His demons where taunting him. You shouldn't be in here. Who do you think is making those breathy moans? You know who it is don't you?

Daryl moved farther back onto the bed. He had no right to be in here he just couldn't help himself after being gone from her presence so long he needed to be surrounded by her, to feel her presence close where he could smell her scent lingering on in the air. Daryl threw his head back once twice against the cement wall. His world was tumbling down around him his heart was clenching in his chest making it hard to breath around the lump forming with in his throat. _I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing. 'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even._

It was Daryl's fault for leaving; he shouldn't have left her the way that he had. Again and again he pounded his head into the wall behind him as his hands formed fists the knife in his hand bearing down into his skin. The small trickle of blood running out of the cut forming around the knife was a small comfort. He'd known pain all of his life and this was the only way he could silently deal with the harsh reality that was awakening around him. His breath hitched as his ears drowned out all other sounds in the night. They zoned into the sounds coming out of that one room. Daryl chuckled; he had forgotten that the windows where now covered there would be no keeping Rick awake this night.

As his ears took in every sound that the bed underneath the two lovers made every sigh moan every little sound that was made Daryl allowed jealous to take over his mind. He allowed it to roam over his body as he raised the bottle of beer up to his mouth. How he wished it was him making those sounds come out of his mouth. Closing his eyes Daryl let his mind take over as his body as it continued to torture him becoming harder than it had been for most of the night. Resting his head against the wall allowing his thoughts and fantasy to take over Daryl watched with his eyes tightly squeezed shut as her image appeared before him. As he watched her move about and purr he drowned out the sounds of the other man with her and replaced the body of the other man with that of his own. _Her best days will be some of my worst, she's finally found a man that's gonna put her first. Bet while I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping._

Still drawing pain from the knife in his hand Daryl squeezed it harder when he heard the name of a woman fall from Rick's lips that wasn't hers. Biting on his lower lip to keep from shouting at Rick for the horror and pain he had just caused, Daryl pulled his legs up close he couldn't jump out of the bed like he wished that he could. If he was to leave this room of hers around him he'd be in Rick's cell in under a minute being the man into a pulp. Taking in a deep breath his lungs filling with air Carol's scent still heavily weighing on the air Daryl allowed his mind to calm, there would be time later to make the other man hurt. _They say bad things happen for a reason but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding,_ and then his ears picked up the sound of her voice. Carol's voice. It was calling HIS name!

Not Rick's, but Daryl's and it caused his heart to stop in his chest. The world around him came to a crashing halt as the voices deep inside of his head became silent. Maybe he had hit his head one to many times against that wall but he was sure it was his name she had called.

Carol wanted him. The woman he loved and he craved wanted HIM. Daryl listened closely as he held his breath moving to the edge of the bed wiping his bleeding hand onto his jeans he wiped of his knife and put it back inside of its sheath. Listening closely he could hear her small footsteps moving across the carpeted floor or rick's room and the rustle of clothing. Was she leaving? Where was she going?

Moving onto his feet his head going dizzy Daryl refused to allow it to stop him from moving as he placed one foot in front of the others sticking closely to the shadows he watched as she made her way out of Rick's cell and down the hall out of the cell block. Daryl followed after her without making a sound. He followed her through the dark tombs always staying far enough back so as not to be noticed or detected by her senses. _Maybe it's time to change and leave it all behind. I've never been one to walk alone. I've always been scared to try. So why does it feel so right to reach for something, more to wanna live a better life, what am I waiting for? _

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Carol flattened her palms against the wall behind her. Shock and heat pounded through her as she inched her way closer to the safety of the wall. She had been standing there one moment rinsing the suds from her body and wrapping a towel tightly around her. The next thing Carol knew she was being forced up against the wall by a warm body. Carol was doing her best not to scream until the familiar scent hit her senses and her body calmed. She could feel his gaze on her body as is swept over her in a possessive appraisal down and up again his eyes roamed over her. Taking in every inch of her exposed skin his eyes traveled over. A moan left his lips and it caused a hot heat to settle in between her legs at the sound of it traveled over her body.

Part of Carol wanted to turn around and slap him for daring to push her up against the wall. But the part of her that yearned to be loved to be wanted purred in ecstasy deep within her mind. "You left me," Carol's words sprung up from the depth of her mind from the depths of her lingering pain.

"Won't happen again," Daryl whispered into her ear after his mouth left a wet trail starting at the base of her neck up and over to her other ear.

Carol felt the hands of the man behind her move in closer as he trailed his hand ghosting it up along the skin of her body. It left her shivering and wanting more as she leaned back into the warmth of the man now standing behind her. Here in this moment she wasn't an unwanted woman who had been pushed away for a ghost of a lover. Here in this man's caged embrace up against the cold cement wall she was his willing captive his woman. Following the path of that hand on her skin she sighed in contentment as is traveled south down along her rib cage burning a hot path of want and need into her as the hand came to rest at the top of her hip. "Look what love's done to me woman."

Carol's head fell back to land on his shoulder her lips meeting his neck as Daryl's hand traveled down to the ache between her legs. Finding the bottom of the towel wrapped around her he snaked his hand up it to the junction between her legs. Meeting her eyes with his he silently asked for permission and she answered it by sealing their lips together. Her hands left the safety of the wall in front of her to travel down over the towel to join with his. Carol led his hand down to the part that was aching with want for him. Her joy at finally being touched by the man that she loved was radiating off of her skin and out through her aura it was dragging him it.

Carol's joy was infectious; it made him forget that he shouldn't be doing this, that it wasn't a good idea to be taking a woman that wasn't fully his. But he wanted her joy inside him to fill him and build up the parts of the pieces that had been torn apart when he had seen her in another man's arms. He wanted to drown in her joy as he pushed two fingers inside her. Her small hand upon him was egging him on. Pulling his lower body away from her slightly he undid his pants letting his member fall out of its confinement. Lifting the towel away from the back of her with his free hand Daryl moved in behind her. "Is this what you wanted earlier?" He asked her forcing her legs to part farther with one of his own sneaking between them.

Turning her head around body still staying in his embrace Carol sought out his lips claiming them. She knew this was wrong she had just left Rick's bed but if this feeling inside of her that was screaming how right this felt then so be it.

Carol took one step backwards closer to Daryl aligning her body with his. She was trembling. He was trembling. Time stood still. Lifting her hand deciding she would be brave and she wouldn't let anything take this moment away from her from them Carol stood upon her toes moving pulling Daryl's body to move flushed along hers. As Carol's back side met Daryl's front a moan left her lips.

Daryl took one step closer to her, his right arm came traveling up along her waist, up past her tummy to rest on her right breast where he took the weight into his hand. Pulling his mouth away from her lips he sucked in a shaky breath as his eyes sought out hers. His other hand came up to rest along the side of her face and he gasped as she nuzzled into his hand her lips kissing his palm before turning her head and smiling up at him meeting his eyes. If Daryl had thought that Carol's body had been masterly sculpted before while he had been silently watching her he now thought of the woman that was in front of him as a goddess. Here she was accepting him she wasn't pushing him away or cringing from his touch. His eyes traveled over her stopping to watch as her breasts rose high as her breathing hitched another notch as he took the nipple in between his fingers and toyed with it. With the same degree Carol brought her head up off of his shoulder turning her body slightly she studied him. Daryl felt her eyes on him like a hot brand searing his skin. He watched her as her hands traveled from his hips down to his member where she took him in hand. Daryl's breath hitched.

Carol watched as Daryl's eyes grew huge in his face, but he didn't utter a word as her warm hands slid up and down leading his member to her waiting entrance. Removing the hand she had on top of his she brought the fingers that had been inside her up to her lips where nipped at them before pulling them into her mouth. Carol pushed backwards aligning her lower half with his widening her stance she allowed his hard shaft to slip inside her. A Moan and a laughter of delight left her mouth as she accepted him deeply inside her. Daryl growled deep in his throat. Touching Carol was like breaking an unspoken rule, it just wasn't normally allowed. Licking his lips Daryl's stomach bottoming out as he heard the moans leaving her mouth. His name once again was tumbling from her lips with every stroke of his hips pushing back against hers. Daryl had already touched her many times before sure all of those times had been innocent but this, this time; here and now he wanted all that she was willing to give. Bringing his mouth down to her ear he nipped it and ran his tongue over the mark to calm the sting that he had left with his bite. Madness was spreading through his veins, it made his blood boil and fog his mind. Through all this Daryl had made up his mind, no more holding back after this night he would be fighting for what was his.


	11. Chapter 11 More Than A Mouse

******Thank you to all of the wonderful readers and Reviews. Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend! **

******DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION AND ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE CHARACTERS OR REFERENCES MADE ARE BY MY OWN DESIGN**

* * *

**Not Lost Forever**

**More Than A Mouse**

The sun was beginning to make its journey into the sky. Its light was warming and bright as it shined through the closed off window to land upon them. He was mesmerized by the brilliant hues as they settled on the woman before him. Daryl had been wide awake for hours now. His eyes barely shutting in fear of the warm body beside him being nothing more than just an image his mind had made up in an alcohol induced dream. Daryl had been laying here on the couch tucked away in the library for hours, though in his thought it only felt like a few minutes as he lied there with the woman he loved wrapped safely in his arms.

Daryl stroked his thumb between Carol's breasts his fingers often journeying over to stroke at a nipple. He tightened the arm that was currently around her hips pulling her body closer to his in fear of her falling off of the couch they currently where resting on. His mind and fingers kept on recalling the feelings he had caused this woman beside him lost in the realms of sleep to feel last night. Lethargy was fragmenting his thoughts as the sun rose higher into the sky to blind him. When he had followed her into the library last night he had never expected her to journey into the attached bathroom and strip out of her clothes. So much had changed since he had been gone. But his wanting to know the woman in front of him last night had never once changed. Carol had looked like a goddess as she had stood there bathing away the dust of the day. Daryl's eyes had ran up and down her body taking in every dip and curve that she had kept hidden from sight.

Daryl knew he should have turned around and walked right back out of that room but his body wouldn't let him. Every muscle inside him had been twitching demanding he move toward her. Even as his mind was shouting at him to turn back, his past dreams kept evading his mind pushing the demons that's where holding him at bay back. The dream of him being in the meadow with Carol kept calling the emotions back to his body. Longing was demanding that this time he act and he did.

Carol had given herself over to him and in doing so she had renewed his spirit. Seeing her body last night racked in scars had left him angry wishing he could bring Ed back from the dead only to kill him all over again but this time much more slowly. Daryl's body was hardening as his mind came out of last night memories. He had always thought that a woman like Carol would make fun of him and push him away but she hadn't. Instead she had done the complete opposite of what he had been expecting she had pulled him closer to her and they had moved out into the room they were now in making love not once but twice more.

The sun light broke through the window to shine down and stroke Carol's body. Causing her to move further back into his warmth in an attempt to keep the light off of her eyes, Carol's moving about awoken Daryl from his thoughts. His eyes danced upon the surface of her skin taking her sleeping appearance in. The sun's light was enveloping her body in the way his own longed to do once again. But the doubts that floated through him held him back as they screamed and pounded away at his temples. Hiding his aching eyes away from the light by burrowing his head into the arm of the couch under her neck, Daryl sighed, a breath of relief leaving his lips.

Daryl moaned, while his eyes where no longer paining him due to the light of the sun his body had other was of torturing him as his lower half hardened becoming as hard as a metal pipe. The scent of Carol was heavy in his noise and dancing along his skin seeping into his pores. Without his consent Daryl's hand traveled along the curving pathway of the woman beside him. Down the length of her body his hand ghosted till it came to rest between her legs where his fingers found her warmth waiting for him. As he grew braver so did the fingers upon that hand. Any other woman would have pulled away from him, for being horrified by his ministrations. But not Carol, even as Daryl brought his head up out of the darkness she provided him with he met with her blue eyes. Carol was fighting back a grin as she nibbled away on her lower lip. Warmth and acceptance flooded throughout Daryl's mind as more proof that Carol was the only woman for him leapt across his skin in rivets of electricity causing all of the fine hairs on his body to stand up. Daryl watched through half hooded eyes as Carol pulled away from him.

Carol gulped.

Moving to stand up Carol hoped Daryl wouldn't take her moving away from him as a sign of denial. But with the way the sun's rising light was shining through the window casting its colors about she had to see him. Carol had to see the image for herself in order to remember this moment always, as the light caressed his skin. Carol took in a deep breath squeezing her eyes tightly shut she pivoted turning around her back no longer facing the couch. Opening her eyes the luminous of the sun shining through and past her where landing upon Daryl. The array of colors shining upon him was no competition for the beauty of the man lying there upon the couch. The sight before her stole her breath away as her heart skipped a beat with in her chest.

Carol smiled down at Daryl trying to easy the pensive look shadowing his features. It had been so dark when he had taken her last night that she had had no chance to see him. The need to see him the way he had seen her last night had traveled throughout her body waking it up as his hand had toyed between her breast. She slid one of her legs between his hips and the couch. Fitting over him a perfect match as they came together as one, he slid deep inside of her warmth stretching her, deliciously filling her. Setting the rhythm and watching as amazement and acceptance fell over Daryl's eyes. Carol watched as the blue depths began to shine in the light of the sun. As she moved above him a smile graced his face as he reached up with both of his hands to trail them up over her body pulling her down with a hand on the back of her neck until their lips met. As their tongues entwined Carol's nails sank into the skin on his chest, she was close to completion. Bringing his hands down to rest upon her hips Daryl brought his upper body up off of the couch. Now in a sitting potion with his back on the back of the couch and his feet planted flat on the floor he was able to get the leverage he needed in order to slide deeper and faster inside of her.

Daryl's fear of hurting this woman he loved faded leaving behind the burning need to be claim and be claimed only by her. He was panting his eyes barely open as they traveled over her skin taking in the way the suns light glistened on her. Nothing had ever over taken his mind and his body so fully to the point that nothing else mattered. The others in their group Rick could be out of their minds searching for them, her even now, could be inside the library with them here in this moment and he still wouldn't stop still wouldn't care if they saw or watched. He needed and by the look in Carol's eyes she needed they wanted more.

Carol pulled away trailing open mouth kisses down the length of his throat where she bared her head in the crook of his neck. While Carol had been with one other who had brought her pleasure he had never touched her deeply into the depths of her soul as this man under her was currently achieving. Up and down she rode him her fingertips moving up over his skin to clench on to his shoulders. Her teeth sank into the skin at the base of his neck as her walls began to vibrate and quiver under his manipulations. He roared out loud and long as he felt her walls slam down upon his stroking his own orgasm from him. They clung to each other as the warmth of their entwined souls settled around them sizzling upon their skin and sinking back in after making their joined journey to the stars. Her head fell back only Daryl's arms anchored around her kept her from tumbling backwards off of his lap and onto the ground. Reaching up Daryl kneaded one of her breast pulling a breathy moan from her lips.

"More," the words left her lips on a sigh full of wanting. She was lost in the pleasure drowning in the sensations roaming her body and spirit. No other man had ever touched her the way this man under her did, and she groaned as the light of day fought its way past her closed eyes. Its light reminding Carol of the many duties she still had to preform throughout the day. Leaving her already wanting for the light of the moon, sitting back up opening her eyes Carol took in the man that she loved.

Their eyes were locked as their bodies stayed joined they could have stayed like that forever if there hadn't have been a knock on the door and Michonne's voice breaking the silence of the room. "Carol it's time to work on your training."

Daryl refusing to release her even for a second pulled Carol closer into his arms. His arms banded around her pulling her close seeking her touch yearning for more. His hands snaked over her body up to her shoulders than back down to her hips where he pulled her closer up against his still harden member. Their blue eyes were battling as their pupils were consuming their irises trying their best to convey their messages without any words. "Let me prove to you woman, that I wont leave you again. Can you feel this?" He asked pushing his hips up off of the couch fitting her body closer to his, the length of him still settled between them. "No one else has ever been where you are, you're the only one to ever affect me like this. I can't control my reactions to you woman."

Carol licked her suddenly dry lips. She was hesitant to answer him, to believe in the unspoken words behind the message he claimed. Thoughts where filling her head suddenly circling about. She frowned fighting back her fears as she head Ed's voice ringing in her ears. Her fears weren't out of place she had for many years heard those exact same words. "Let me prove it to you," how many times had she trusted and believed in Ed before she had given up the battle? How many times had he lied to her never changing his ways?

"I want so much to believe you." Her gaze drifted away from his eyes to land on her hands clasped tightly on his fore arms. Fingers grasping and releasing even wondering up and down the length of his arms, "I'm afraid, what if Merle decides he wants to leave will you follow to?" Carol's words where so softly spoken as she tilted her head up her eyes leaving her task behind to fall upon him as she stood up. Daryl had almost not heard her as he reached out to her.

Daryl's eyes followed her raking over the curves of her body as his mind and his heart fought with demons behind locked closed bars. _Could he leave her again_? His eyes followed the sway of her hips as she moved about gathering up discarded blankets and clothing.

_No never._

Daryl knew for a fact that the time spent away from her had been painful he had suffered and he wasn't willing to be parted from his woman again. Daryl knew even if his demons refused to stop taunting him that he had to find a way to prove it to her. "What I desire, is you Carol."

Her eyes met his as she pulled her shirt over her head. "Then you have a lot to prove Daryl. Don't leave me again. You're here and alive that's all that matters to me here in this moment." Pulling her pants on Carol leaned over her palm coming to land on his chest as her other hand traveled upward to tangle into his hair. Their noises were touching her lips ghosting over his breathing him in as her words left her mouth, "Fight for me, love me and I'll do the same for you."

"Only for you woman." Daryl growled low in his throat as he pulled her closer into his arms. His arms banding around her waist as he pulled her into the space between his legs. He captured her lips sealing his promise with a quick kiss before he nuzzled the side of her neck and kissed her there once more before letting her go.

~*Not Lost Forever*~

Stepping out into the light of the day a hand covering her eyes Carol took a quick look around her eyes landing on Michonne. Walking quickly over to the woman Carol watched her every step as she worked through her morning routine. Her eyes never leaving the warrior in front of her she was becoming mesmerized by her graceful movement as she worked through her routine. As carol followed her she did her best to categorize every one of her moves as she worked through her dance. Michonne reminded Carol of an amazon goddess and at times the sheer raw fierce fighter would emerge in her reminding Carol of the harpy's she used to read about in her old myth and legend books.

Her body was trembling; heart fell out of her chest when thinking back to those books on myths. Carol used to read them to her daughter, Sofia. Thinking back to those days before walkers started springing up and roaming the earth brought back all of the hurtful hateful memories. She hadn't been strong enough back then, every time she had tried to leave Ed she would end up being forced right back. The life of abuse had beaten Carol down it had her hating herself. Hating the woman she used to be. _I can't keep on living this way, so starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage. I'm going to stand up, I'm going to face my demon, hold my ground. I've had enough, of living in Ed's dead shadow. Time to put my life back together, right now starting here I'm going to prove to myself that I'm a better person he ever said I was, screw what everyone else thinks of me. Today I'm fighting for me!_

Watching Machonne closely with a new determination in her eyes Carol watched as Michonne pivoted on her heel returning to her former position. Carol was surprised when the woman in front of her spoke turned her head meeting her eyes, "Let's get things started."

Carol nodded her head determination radiating off of her body as she watched Michonne place her katana back into the sheath at her side. "Sure you still want to go through with all of this?" Michonne's voice was calm and quiet as it fell upon Carol's ears.

"Can't stop me nothing and no one can at this point. I am my own person no one controls me." Carol remarked meeting Michonne's eyes.

Metting Carol's eyes Michonne was astonished at the fire burning with in the blue depths. _Good, she's ready,_ she thought turning towards Carol and walking up to her. "Very well, let's start off by building up your stamina and endurance." They spent the next two hours jogging around the prison and after that was done the girls moved forward into the yard where they got to work moving the corpses back out of the yard. The two woman for most of the time kept silent focusing on the task set out in front of them.

At noon the sun was high in the sky; the warmth of its light was seeping through out the land and warming their bodies as the two woman moved around the yard. They were both brought out of their rhythmic routine of lifting up a walker and stacking the body along with the others up on the truck when Rick came walking down the dirt path towards them. The two ladies stopped after placing the last corpse into its place and turned towards Rick.

"Need to head into a nearby town, to get medical supplies and antibiotics for Axel do you think you can get a list put together with Hershel's help Carol? Rick asked stopping in front of Carol one of his hands raising to rest on the butt of the gun attached to his belt.

"Sure Rick, not a problem at all, just let me get washed up real quick and I'll see to your list." The new Carol felt no need to shy away from Rick as she held her head high walking past Rick.

"Michonne would you mind joining me on the run, could use your sword? Rick asked as his head turned watching Carol walk away up the path back towards the prison. Turning his head back around Rick met with Michonne's eyes as the woman snickered.

"Sure could use a good work out."

~*Not Lost Forever*~

After compiling a list with Hershel Carol had gotten cleaned up her mind busily thinking away the whole time she moved about her cell. Taking note of the sun she had realized that she had yet to sit down and eat. After dressing she headed down to the kitchen area where she got to work making lunch for those of who were still at the prison. Carol was thankful she knew Daryl was out in the woods checking the traps and hunting she had watched him while she had been out in the yard with Michonne. Thinking about Daryl as she went about the chore of making and delivering food made her mind recall the fact that Merle was in need of some nourishment to. While they didn't have much inside the prison always choosing to use one of the nearby houses to stow their belongings and supplies in case the need to move away quickly ever became a necessity, Carol was willing to spare some of her own lunch to Merle. It would give her an excuse on why she wanted to speak with the man.

Picking up the tray she had prepared with his lunch Carol headed over to his cell. Stopping in the door way Carol spoke up as she eyed Merle resting back on his bunk. "Brought you some food."

Watching closely as Merle moves to sit up and gets off of the bunk moving forward Carol extends out her arms handing the tray over as he moves closer. Merle accepting the tray steps closer while clearing his throat from the lack of disuse, "Thank you."

"I figured you are part of the family now."

Merle motions toward the chair in his cell as he moves to set down the tray on the table beside his bunk as he sits down Carol joins him.

"It's not much but given what we have had it's a lot." Carol amazed at the sound of her voice sounding stronger than she though it could be, smiles as she continues talking about the past and how hard it had been. "I should have been dead three times over." She smiles Daryl appearing there in her memory; he has always been close by silently looking after her.

"Aint that the truth for us all." Carol brings her head down her eyes no longer wondering as they land upon Merle as he watches her closely after commenting.

"I think part of the reason why I am not is because people under estimate me." Bringing her head up strength blooming inside of her chest giving her that extra push she needed to look up into the eyes of the man who had once tormented her group. "Don't under estimate me."

"'Scuse me?" Merle asked as though he hadn't quite heard her correctly and his nostrils flared as his full attention was placed upon her. _For the love of all that was fuckin holy, _Merle thought_, this wisp of a pixie can't be real. She's threatening me? Woman's gotten some fire into her veins._

"I've seen you, making your rounds trying to play nice." Carol thrusting her face a few inches within his smirked, "But if you screw this up, mess with Daryl and I will slit your throat while you sleep. I'll remove your balls in such a way that even the governor will become a sympathizer." Carol arched a brow while pursuing her lips she was beginning to enjoy this little bit of banter going on between them. She was getting excited by it even and every nerve inside her body was buzzing with anticipation as she waited for his comeback.

Merle sat back running his tongue over his upper teeth while he took in the pixie in front of him. For being a woman she sure had some balls on her. In fact he was pleased with what he was seeing as he ran his eyes up and down the length of her. "Why you got som'en for my baby brotha? You're a strange little mouse aren't ya? What happened to your husband?"

Carol lifted her chin a smile braking out over her face, eyes shining bright as her heart beat quickly inside her chest. "Oh, I put a pick axe through his head back at the quarry." Standing up the smile never leaving her face she turned her back on Merle walking towards the cells door. Before leaving his cell she stopped and looked back over her shoulder at him, "Enjoy your lunch Merle."

Merle scuffed as he watched her walk away from his cell. His eyes lingering on the sway of her hips as she walked out of his eye sight. A smile broke out across his lips; _maybe there was some life in the little mouse after all._


End file.
